15 months

My baby boy Bryson is 15 months old today.  Oh, my, how there are barely words to describe him. 

His newest love is Mickey Mouse, he says "Mick Mow" and it is probably the cutest thing my ears have ever heard.  I handed him a plate shaped like Mickey last night for dinner and he held it and stared at it with a beaming smile.  We also went through a hand me down bag of clothes from a friend and found Mickey Mouse pj shirt.  Wow.  He couldn't have been more excited and has worn it for the last two nights.  He got mad when I put his sleep sack on because he couldn't see his Mick Mow anymore. 

Other loves, Elmo ("Emmo") & Donald Duck ("Duck Duck") & Thomas ("Mum-as"). 

He loves running up the stairs, slamming doors and gates, EATING, bonking his forehead on things, giving hugs, getting the broom out of the pantry and finding my full cups of coffee on the counters edge with the handle, reading books, eating books, his monk-monk, pushing buttons on toys that make noise, over and over, music, dancing, hugging soft things (so hard in fact sometimes he needs to lay his body on the couch, chair or floor to hug it enough), going outside, dada, ada, mama, lila, & DUlia (not in that order), pulling hair, brushing his teeth.  He talks all the time, and points.  I remember thinking that boys talk later than girls, but that is not the case.  He can say a lot of words, and imitates many of the things that we say, but it's a family joke that his favorites (BY FAR) are "uh-oh", "mo" (more), "Buh-Bye", "wa-wa", "monk-monk" and "Dulia!".  Actually every word he says has an exclamation point behind it.  He knows what he wants and isn't afraid to go after it with all the weight of his body.  He turns into a loose noodle to fall through your arms and through a tantrum on the floor (usually pretty short lived if you just walk away).  But man, sometimes you shut the bathroom door or take away his tooth brush and he'll cry like he just lost his best friend.  His big sad eyes and open mouth cry, always make me smile and scoop him up for a cuddle hug. 

Jeez, it's been so long since I blogged, I could write a full and funny blog on each of those loves alone. 

He is just now getting his 5th tooth, on the top, just to the left (as you look at him) of his too middles.  He gnaws on everything like a beaver, so many of our perfectly kept board books from Lily and Addie have the bindings chewed to shreds by this book loving fool. 

Favorite Foods: Bananas ("nana"),  ground turkey meatballs, chicken chili, carrots, peas, raisins, blueberries, toast, cheerios, Hot Dogs ("ought dog!"), water ("wawa" - I think he thinks all drinks are wawa),  graham crackers.  Who am I kidding trying to make a list of favorites?  This kid will eat almost anything you put in front of him.  He seems a little oatmeal and yogurt-ed out, but I think that's just because he prefers to feed himself - and he ate A LOT of both of those in the months before and after his first bday.  He likes to try and use a spoon and fork, but gets frustrated when he can't get the food into his mouth.  Putting him in a high chair means the rest of the family goes into high gear getting things done, like emptying the dishwasher and opening the pantry, things that he does not allow for when on the loose. 

I DO mean, on the loose, he is a maniac.  Into everything, climbs everything, destroys everything.  He's a lot like Lily was, so I guess I'm still not buying the boy vs girl thing, but I know that lots of people told us that baby Lily was a lot more boy than girl in her tendencies.  The only difference was there was only one of her to contain.  So for Bryson, we try very hard not to tell the girls the reason they can't play the games or beads or blocks or anything they want during his waking hours is because of their trouble making little brother.  But, they sort of know.  When we are doing a puzzle or playing a game, Addie will let out a sigh of dispair when he wakes up, knowing it is the end of her fun. 

Little People is a family favorite because we can all play with them, make a city, ride buses, helicopters, car washes, but the girls still get mad because they like to set up their scenes just so and get their guys in line for a bus, but Bryson has other ideas for their people.  We do our best to divide and conquer and rope off areas of the house for them to have some space from the littlest member of the house. 

All in all, Lily still REALLY loves Bryson, Addie's still kind of on the fence about him.  It's more of a love hate, she is still really rough with him and usually does pretty mean things to him.  To be the adult in the house with just the two of them, is the hardest dynamic.  All three is better than just the two.  Addie just cannot stay off of him, and if you distract one of them they both want in on it.  If you hold one of them the other comes and headbutts or pulls the other's hair.  It's awesome.  When they do get along (like they did in the bath last night.  It is GREAT.  I hope it's a sign of things to come.  At this age, Lily loved Addie more than anything on this planet, so it's tough that 15 months later, Addie could still do without her brother.  We keeps warning her that she better be nicer.  He is only one pound less than her, and once he is a little more steady on his feet, he will CRUSH her! And we might let him:)

He's taking 2 naps a day some days, 1 nap other days.  He drinks one bottle of whole milk before bed, warmed, even though he doesn't need it.  I stopped nursing him at the end of January and I still like that before bed cuddle that he comes with a warm bottle of milk.  He talks himself to bed, mostly pretty easily after that, with a sleep sack and a cuddle with his "monk-monk". 


As for me, things haven't been easy, I just can't seem to get a grip on all the overwhelming responsibilities I have, all that I want to be and do, and do so in a good mental space.  But I'm working hard on many fronts to be happy and present with my little guy.  With all my little guys.  These kissable cheeks sure makes it darn hard to stay down.  His many faces, his many moods, his funny quirks.  His infectious energy, and wonderful hugs (turned headbutts)....I could not love him more. 

Muah.  I love you buddy!

I can't believe he is 15 months old.  Be still, my heart. 

Julia's pictures of beauty

Here are a few great shots that Julia has taken of the kids recently. Plus a few she took while skiing with Lily and Lawrence on Mount Hood, using her new photography skills from the class she is taking. 
You guys, these are taken with a point and shoot! 
Loving it.

FAQ MIA

Yes, I'm still here. Yes I do realize how long it has been since I've written a blog. Things are. Hard. Busy. Good.

It's been a matter of priority and survival lately. Maybe that sounds dramatic, but that's how I feel.

Christmas was awesome, my mom came, it was wonderful. New Year's Eve was fun too. We had a game night with our friends and then a family sleep over.

I have a million and ten pictures from the last month.

But I'm depleted, I'm empty, blah. I'm not freaking out over the impossible cart of responsibilities in front of me. Instead I just feel blah. Honestly, I'm not sure if that is a good thing or a bad thing. I've made the comment to a few friends that I actually kind of prefer the blahness that I've been feeling because it is SO much better than the frazzley stressed out anxiety feeling.

Work is hard. Home is hard. Kids are hard. Marriage is hard. All of it is good and worth it and bring blessings upon blessing. I wouldn't trade my life for anything, because I do love it. I know that sounds like a typical canned response, but it's not. However, it's hard not to get lost in the day to day duties, and if I am able to get up for some air, a quick refresh button. It lasts for such a short amount of time. My flame is extinguished so quickly. Every action seems to have a consequence and I go days at a time wondering if I did anything right. Wondering if I made a difference at all, or if I'm just existing to make it through the workload of another day.

And yet, life IS good.

Sometimes, you just aren't inspired to write about it or document it. Or when you are, you don't have the time or the energy to make it a priority.

I've been really trying to stay off the computer at home. This leads to no pictures and no blogs.

That's where I'm at.

The good news is I do have a few VERY organized friends who just posted on their fall and HALLOWEEN. Thank you friends, you make me feel like I'm ahead of the game. That there is hope that I can back in to this thing.

I don't know what I need to get out of my funk, but maybe you could write a comment, tell me a funny story, or maybe you could remind me of something I'm doing right. Because I left a picture of myself on my blog for a month. A hilarious picture where my glasses are bigger than my face. And I got four comments. LOTS of emails asking where my blog was, lots of mentions of missing blog posts. But it's hard to remember that anyone even reads, notices, or cares. Until I stop writing, then I get an overwhelming number of reminders of something else I'm falling short on. And that kind of sucks. Can you see why?

I've debated even posting this. Worried that I won't get back to this for another month, and worried that this will be the post left here. Worried that someone who emailed me about why I haven't blogged would be insulted or think that I was upset with them. To get four comments about a blog that was and 47 emails about a blog that wasn't - isn't very motivating. It wasn't anyone in particular who mentioned it. I know most of you emailed me out of worry for me, not worry for my blog, knowing that I've never gone so long with out blogging.

Sometimes when I feel blocked, blah, disconnected, like I'm unraveling, writing helps. So I'm giving that a try.

To ensure that it sticks, that funny story or encouraging word would be really great right about now.

I've kicked off the good juices with this picture of Bryson's hand...(thanks Christina Gilchrist for sending it to me!)

Wordless Wednesday - Christmas Card 1984

Yeah, and you thought I was exaggerating about the glasses?

Um, no.

The Photo That Went In My Mom's Christmas Card
circa November 1984
Jenny 8 years, Matt 7 months

The Lily Craft Making Christmas Show

I could seriously watch this video 100 times over. It makes me laugh SO hard.

Lily got a new camera for her birthday. It has a video mode. She is so taken with the video feature. I guess it reminds me of what I did laying around on my tummy propped by my elbows, with a tape recorder, pressing play and record at the same time and making commercials, talk shows, learning that if you clap in a circle around the recorder, then it sounds like audience applause. Singing and playing it back to myself. Putting it up next to the tv to get Saturday morning cartoon theme songs. JOY.

So kids these days can do it with VIDEO. I can't imagine what I would have done with this technology, but it definitely would probably be similar to what Lily does in her one hour of quiet time per day. She is in there crafting up gifts to clutter under the tree, comes down daily with a new handful wrapped and ready. When she was three, she did this too. She'd wrap up post it notes or old business cards for any and everyone to open. And you tried not to laugh when you opened yours. But now, at 6, she's getting better. Her gifts (although always 3D and impossible to store in a useful fashion) are well thought-out and orchestrated.

The night before Bryson's birthday party she asked me to charge the batteries and empty her card so that she would be all set to record him destroying his cake. WELL. Let me tell you, I was in for a treat. I laughed until I cried watching the videos that she had made on there.

As you will see she has adopted a theme much like a cooking show (which is one of her favorite things to watch on TV), where she shows you what she'll be using and talks to her camera like she has an audience of faithful viewers. Had to make that happen for her. So thanks Blogosphere.

Disclaimer: I got Lily's full permission to post these videos to my blog. However, she asked me to wait until after Christmas to do that, because she doesn't want the people who she is making the gifts FOR to see the video of her making said gifts. So Julia, please don't watch these videos, lest you spoil the Christmas surprise for yourself! :)

Hear that Julia, if you are reading STOP now. Come back on Dec 26!

I love how she fills in the dead air, and how she KNOWS exactly where she is with the camera, and how she says she is getting it "focused" (she is getting a little mini tripod for Christmas which she will LOVE).

There are so MANY things to love, I could add an add.



Okay, I was only going to post this first video, but she she refers to this second one so I HAD to include it. It's more of the same, but it makes me laugh so hard.

"Sorry it was quiet at the beginning, I was getting the video set up"

"Snippity Snip"



What is your favorite part?

Kicking off the week of Christmas

I'm going to attempt to do a Christmas related blog all week. We'll see. Usually when I try to kick something off, I announce it to the world and then queue cricket noises for the next week. But I'm gonna try. Because there is a LOT of good stuff to blog about. Not the least of which is this coffee complete with it's candy-cane-mocha-french-vanilla-sweetie-grossie-creamer. YUM. Tastes so good with my 5 hrs of sleep!

It's hard to imagine that LAST year, we were still waiting for Bryson when I mailed out our cards. He was kind of in our card, in the cutest way ever, in my opinion.

MAN! I was so on the BALL last year. The week of Christmas was the most peaceful, non-busy week ever! Gifts and tree bought a month in advance, cards mailed, no work or worry of the 4 million dollars left in orders left to process in the week before year end. No thoughts of an impending audit. Just porn star bleeding nipples and up all night wake up calls with my sweet newborn. Ahhh, but that was last year, snap back out of dream world, Jenny. You are flat now. Heh. Well, almost. Hey, it's it weird how you get on to blog your family Christmas card and you end up talking about your boobs. Okay so maybe this candy-cane-mocha-french-vanilla-sweetie-grossie-creamer is getting to me. Or maybe it is the 5 hrs of sleep. Why did we go to bed so late every night this weekend? I mean, I don't remember accomplishing anything. Crap. Maybe I will be horrified later that I said boobs on my blog. I don't know. Probably not, I mean, they are just boobs. Barely. I guess we'll find out. I forever love to compare year to year and sometimes I'm funny, sometimes I'm weird. I'm guessing this blog will fall into the funny category, but you just never know. (eyeroll, who is the weird girl?)

Oh, and disclaimer. My card was created by Sara at Less Ordinary Designs. I found her on Etsy, she did my friend, Shawna's baby announcement for me. She was so awesome to work with and for $15, really, who can beat that, I used her again for our card this year. She did one million revisions for me and treated me like I was totally NOT annoying. Photos were taken by the photographer from Bend who took our pictures in Sunriver, Devin Miller. If you haven't used Etsy to create holiday cards I strongly recommend it. It is so cheap and easy, and you can get some really cool designs that are customizable pretty much any way you want!

Without further ado, I'm off to work, and the first of 4 super duper busy days before 6 days off! YAY!

Happy Holidays from The Herman Family and Julia! We wish you the best!

Sorry, but my 3 year old is FUNNY

Addie wakes me up by crawling into bed with me WAY too early and spooning, facing me, and then starts talking about something random at full volume.

Addie: (sniff sniff right in my face) Mommy, did you toot?

Me: (Surprised, awake, annoyed, turning away) No, Addie that's probably my breath...

Addie: (after a few minutes of consideration) Why yo breat mell like toots?

And that, my friends, is the best way to wake up ever.

Wordless Wednesday - This Year

Bryson this year...

One Year
Eleven Months
Ten & 1/2 Months
Ten Months

Nine & 1/2 Months
Nine Months

Eight Months
Seven & 1/2 Months
Seven Months
Six Months
Five Months
Four Months
Three Months
Two months
One Month
One week
One hourThe most precious moment - meeting you

One

Photos by Christina Gilchrist - www.christinagilchrist.com

He's one. My youngest child is already a year old. How can it be? Insert all cliches about where the time is going, my baby is growing up, etc.

I adore this little man. How is it possible that you can have enough love in your heart for each of your children? I don't know. And to love each one more than the next? It's something I think about daily, because sometimes I honestly can't fathom how there is enough love to go around, but there just IS. And it's amazing.

I was standing in my living room this morning with my early waker on his big day, and looking at the Christmas decor and Hanukkah banner and Birthday cards cluttering up the mantle. And I just soaked in all that we have to celebrate this month. Who cares about the stress and the busyiness and the gift buying. We have SO much to celebrate! And so it will be for us every December and we should be nothing but filled with gratefulness.

Since I have been such a slacker about Bryson and his accomplishements over the past two months, I'll give a run down on all his newest tricks. He is full on walking now. He started taking steps around 10.5 months and by 11 months was stepping consistently. He's always barreling forward so he was falling a lot because he didn't take the time to get his feet under him. But now, he has his balance and he walks everywhere. Still full steam ahead. I call it the monster walk because he puts his hands above his head and is usually babbling or shreiking and waddling like a little monster! It is so precious. I know the days will be here soon enough when he had steadier footing, so I'm soaking in this wobble monster.

He has four teeth. Two tops, two botttoms.

We MADE IT!! As I nursed him this morning I thought, OH. MY. GOSH. I made it to a year. Now, disclaimer that we've been supplementing with formula since 2 months old and in the last month I've stopped pumping at work and only nurse when he wakes up and goes to bed. Add the recent cold he's had where he can't breath and such at the same time so he has to stop every 2 seconds to breath, and I'm pretty shocked that we got here. About 3 weeks ago I told Lawrence I thought I was done. He said, for the record, he would still "call it" a year. He knows me too well. I was happy with that, and have been actually really at peace with being done or not. I mean, given that at 5 weeks old this time I thought I couldn't do it any more when he had colic and RSV. Then at 6 weeks when I gave up dairy until 6 months (how in the heck did I do that! seems like another life time, honestly!) I just never, ever imagined I'd make it to a year this time, and even though I supplemented him with formula more than my other babies, this is my hardest accomplishment. So I'll be proud of that. I don't know why one year is so important to me. I know lots of moms who go longer or less or not at all, and I have NO judgment about them, but when it comes to myself, I think it gives me a sense of being my best for him, or being tied to him, needed by him. I'm not sure, but it was important to me, and I didn't think I would make it, and I did. So woo-hoo!

I'll report back later today with his stats from the dr:

October was by far Bryson's worst sleeping month since newborn. I don't know what was up but HE WAS. Then November has been like one night a week he wakes up for no reason. He is always up for 2-3 hrs. It's kind of brutal after 8 months of sleeping through without exception. But I won't complain. He still takes two naps, usually a long morning and a shorter afternoon. We enjoy it, but since he and Addie are on opposite nap schedules, we DEFINITELY look forward to one nap by both of them at the same time and the oppotunity to leave the house occassionally without worrying about somebody being cranky for missing a nap! Although I will admit, I love to volunteer to stay home while Bryson sleeps, and the rest of the family goes out to do something fun. These are my occassional peaceful moments.

The big question everyone asks: So is it a lot different having a boy than a girl? Those of you out there with 3 boys are just drooling with delight to hear stories of destruction and broken limbs. Waiting for us "all girlers" to cross over into boy land. Well I hate to disappoint, but so far, not much different. He doesn't even pee in my face. Maybe because he is so fat he has a hidden penis. Sorry buddy, (he asked me not to blog about that). He is a lot more adventurous but actually less so than Lily was at this age (she, I was told behaved more like a boy in her early years, as a no fear climber).

One of my friends writes a great blog thread called "my girls never did that". She has 3 girls and a boy as her youngest. And she photographs and notices the cutest thing her now 5 year old does, so different than her daughters. I love the idea, and most definitely can't wait to start notices the differences. I think most of the differences are because he's the 3rd, and not because he's a boy.

His big fat padded feet are so kissable. I still dread that one day these will become man feet. And that day is closer now that he is walking. IF I could stuff his feet in, he would be in a size 5 or 6 shoes, but so far he hasn't worn anything but Robeez, size 18-24 mth. This is also his size of clothing. I have a feeling shod-ding him is going to be an issue.

We had a birthday party for Bryson on Saturday, we just invited 2 families and Lawrence's parents were here. It was a house full, but just perfect. My friend (and photographer) Christina came over to capture the day, and it was AWESOME for me not to even pick up the camera. She sent me the sneak peak pictures above. (www.ChristinaGilchrist.com).

I made Bryson a giant cupcake, idea from my friend, Nancy, and it was perfect. I'm glad I have the mold, though I have a few ideas of what I would do better next time. Nancy said that would happen! :) Bryson loved playing in the frosting and eating the yellow cake. Since Addie had a milk allergy, and I didn't know about cake mixes with no milk, she didn't get the first birthday cake smashing. SO I THOROUGHLY ENJOYED THIS ONE. I just love it. I know it's a mess and it's hard to clean up, but seriously, I love it, something about a first birthday cake being devoured and making the ultimate mess just makes me happy. :)

The girls love their little brother. Lily is so good with him, she could be a little mommy. It reminds me of a certain someone I know and her sweet baby brother, Matt. Just wait Bryson, when you are getting ready to go to college and you have 3 mommies telling you what to do, and watching out for what is "best" for you, you are iiiinnnnn trouble! :) Anyway he and Lily have a special bond, and anytime I feel guilty about things Lily could be missing out on because she HAS TO STAY AT HOME ALL DAY FOR HER SIBLINGS TO NAP, um, I just have to look at all she has gained by getting to be his big sister, and any guilt or doubt about what is best for her just melts away. Addie still commits random acts of violence against Bryson but he is starting to hold his own. She is genuinely a lot more loving to him and even this morning said, "Happy Burstday, Bwyson, you are one today" when she saw him. Then she kissed his back. The three of them have moments of all playing well together and it is just awesome. Bryson looks for them, adores them, cries when it is time to say good bye before they go to school.

Bryson and our AuPair, Julia have a very special relationship as well. She is so at ease with him and he took to her right away. It has been nice for me, at this age when separation anxiety is sometimes at the max, for me to have someone else that he feels so comfortable with. I realize that isn't something I had with the girls and it has been a source of comfort for both me and for Bryson. He definitely loves her, and when she comes downstairs in the morning, he says good morning to her with the sweetest hug.

At one year Bryson has more words than either sister did at a year (hows THAT, for a BOY!?). He says, "nigh-nigh" (my favorite!), "ba" (ball), "ba" (bottle), "bu-bu" (bye-bye), "ma-ma", "da-da", "ad-da" (all done), "Mo" (more), "ha" (hi-said into his hand or any other object as a phone). We do more and all done in sign language, but he would prefer loud screaming and yanking off his bib to get his point across. So far he doesn't have much use for the sign language. :)

He knows where his belly is, he does "so big" and "touch-down" with his hands when you say it. He points at any and everything he can. He says "da" as to show you where and what he means. He claps when you start singing "If your happy and you know it", or if you say "Yay!" to anything. He LOVES to clap. He knows how to hug and kiss. He likes to pull hair and glasses. A LOT. His go to cute move is to put his head down on someone or something, your shoulder, the floor, a pillow, a stuffed animal. It ALWAYS gets the same genuine response from everyone in the room. "Aaahhhhhhhh".

Bryson has made our family complete. He has set us all in a tailspin of unbalance and craziness. The little guys outnumber the big guys. We've had to put our priorities in order in more ways than I can describe here. We changed our entire thinking about how "things are supposed to be" in order to make way and room for this son in our family. I am forever grateful for all those changes. I believe in God's grace more than I can ever describe because I go to bed each night with it cloaked over me. I thought I had a few things figured out before Bryson came along. In fact, before each of my children came along. And I was reminded of who isn't in charge. That would be me. Thank you, Bryson, for showing me that my ability to give love is multiplying, that I can do anything I set my mind to, in the name of love, and for making me giggle with delight each and every day.

My friend, Sarah, the infant chiropractor and LLL Leader in Florida who helped me get to where I needed to be to "fix" Bryson's colic (thus giving me the second half of my maternity leave back for which I will be forever grateful!), sent me this quote the day after he was born. I forgot about it and found it yesterday while looking for something. It's so very true. Bryson's laugh and smile touches me deep inside and I do feel grand because of him.

‎~If one feels the need of something grand, something infinite, something that makes one feel aware of God, one need not go far to find it. I think that I see something deeper, more infinite, more eternal than the ocean in the expression of the eyes of a little baby when it wakes in the morning and coos or laughs because it sees the sun shining on its cradle. ~ Vincent van Gogh

If you wonder why you are tired...

Lawrence's mom and dad left last night. His mom was here with us from New Jersey for 12 days. The kids were over the moon to have her here. His dad was also here for 6 days - we love Gpa too (he DOES get all the photo credits), but this is a post all for Gma. It was a great visit and a lot of help. When our parents are here, it is always validating for us that we have every right to be exhausted all the time caring for three kids. Yes, it is a lot of fun. Yes, we love it. Yes, we are 30+ years younger than they. But. YES, it is exhausting! :)

This time while Grandma was here, she... (in no particular order because that would take more time than what I have to organize the photos)

Fed many small children, particularly often an almost one year old boy...
Taught Kindergarten...


Held friends' babies...


Taught Lily to knit...
Made foam menorahs...
Bathed babies...and other assorted sizes...
Baked a $hit load of mondel brot...
Perfected Lily's knitting (see she's holding both needles now)...Got our annual photo taken at Hayden's ( 6 months late! I like the July ones better!)
I'm not sayin' Grandpa didn't pitch in too...he did...
But Grandma worked her little tail off...and seemed to enjoy every minute of it...

Activities Not Pictured Above: Helping in Addie's preschool class, Giving Julia a day off-childcare, Laundry & Dishes (x100,000 loads), Grocery shopping, Sewing several saved for her projects and rips and tears, Carefully cutting out tags, Cooked meatloaf and chicken and matzo ball soup and more dinners that I can't remember, Preparing and brewing coffee for me (and her) every morning, Washing bottles, Changing Diapers, Reading Books, Playing Educational Games, Reading with Lily, Organizing the Pantry, and Junk Drawers (MUCH my horrified dismay!), Cleaning the fridge, Stuffing and un-stuffing the garbage disposal, Making beds, Wait, did I mention laundry? Or Dishes? And Dishes? And Dishes?

I'll admit that any time long time company leaves, there is a small sigh of relief, whether it be your bestest friend in the entire world or your most loved family member, there is just something nice about having the house to yourselves again. Thinking only of yourself and not worrying about others.

But then. I look at that list of things above and remember. Shoot, I'm gonna have to do all those things now again! Except for the sewing. And the knitting. :)

All kidding aside, we really do appreciate all the help and the kids having that priceless time with their Grandparents, each visit allows them to create their own special memories as they come to know and love them more.