My coffee broke up with me but I pressed on and we are back together again!

Based on the way my coffee treated me, I should have ended it, I should have been prepared for last week to suck a little, but I didn't see it coming.  My oldest baby was going to be 10, which means I was celebrating a decade of me being a mom.  This was the week of me and Lily.  This was also the week that Lily and Bryson were star of the week.  I needed coffee for last week.  

Monday morning started off like anything other.  A hundred things on my plate and trying to fumble through making coffee while finding sides for lunch.  How do I go to the store and purchase stuff for lunches every weekend but there is never anything other than saltines and dried cranberries for lunches?   I hated myself for not doing these two chores the night before.  I hate myself every single morning for this reason, but not quite enough to muster up the energy to do it each night.  That morning, I didn't end up pushing start on the coffee until the girls were out the door for the bus with Lawrence.  It's French Vanilla flavored coffee in the Dunkin Donuts bag, and I'm surprised that Lawrence bought it, he hates the smell of coffee (one of my excuses for not making it at night), and this brand is the strongest smelling.  After about 5 minutes I hear a singeing noise and see that there is no pot under the coffee filter.  It has a plug feature for that, but the filter has filled full and is brimming over the top in every direction.  I mopped up a bit of coffee, sighing with relief that the house is off the market and perfection wasn't in the cards.  I should have just quit there, spent $2.50 on the way to work and called it a day.  

Nope.  

I get the pot under in time, and salvaged the rest of coffee.  I poured my cup tippy top full and added some milk.  No sticky creamer thank goodness.  I finished getting Bryson ready, turned on Curious George to keep him still, and headed upstairs to get myself ready.  

I had already showered but that was about it. I washed my hands and reach back to dry them, when my left hand swiped the tippy top cup of too hot coffee and over it spilled.  It went everywhere.  E.V.E.R.Y.W.H.E.R.E.  In every drawer and every cupboard and up under everything, in the jewelry holder, soaked every piece of laundry on the ground and every floor mat, around every piece of jewelry, in every toothbrush holder, and in every make up bag.  Everywhere.  I can't emphasize the everywhereness of it enough.  This one cup of coffee seemingly multiplied into gallon after gallon, soaking everything in it's wake.  

An hour later my hair and makeup were left undone, most of the visible coffee was wiped up (I would find more for days), I had a load of coffee laundry going, and out the door my star and I went, late for school.  

French vanilla...the smell never goes away.  A week and a half later, I sit at my desk at work, and I can still smell coffee, every where I go, every minute of the day.  Maybe because it's on my toothbrush, hairbrush, and part of my eyeliner.  

My cleaning lady came on Tuesday of this week, I was so happy the smell would finally be gone, but alas…it's still going strong every time I plug in the flat iron.  

Tuesday, Lily turned 10, and the day was awesome.  We ice skated, I decorated her door all cool, Matt and Heather came over, her presents were appreciated and grown up.  It was a very good day.  More on that another time, but suffice to say, I thought my coffee woes were done.  

Friday we had a slumber party for seven little girls.  After sweating to death throwing together an around the house scavenger hunt, (E-GADS!) I made a cup of coffee to get ready for the night ahead.  Seven little girls are a LOT louder and more excited than five little girls a year younger were last year.  What a difference 2 people and 1 year made! I poured in the water planning to share with any moms dropping off girls who might want some.  Unfortunately there was only a little bit of coffee left in the Dunkin Donuts bag, not nearly enough for the amount of water I'd poured in.  It didn't stop me (or Shawna), we drank our coffee flavored water like it would fuel us for days.  

But. Oh. My. Gosh. you guys! 

The girls were up until 2am.  I got up at 6:30am with Bryson and around 7:30 it occurred to me, THERE WAS NO COFFEE FOR TODAY.  Lawrence and Addie left shortly after for her soccer game and I was not wise enough to realize that I should have run out quick to get coffee before they went.  And by not wise, I mean, I was running non-stop from the second I got up to get uniforms laid out and the coach's shirt clean and figure out if we were the home or away team and water bottles filled up and after game snacks ready, and hair in a pony…WHEN I SHOULD HAVE BEEN OUT BUYING COFFEE.  

One of the things I really am starting to like in this mothering for a decade is that I don't have to pretend I have my shit together.  I mean I couldn't even pretend that if I wanted to, so it's more than convenient that I don't have to.  

So I sent out an SOS.  To the moms of the daughters I "let" stay up until the wee hours.  

I need coffee.  I had a ten year old slumber party with NO COFFEE for the morning for myself and I am DYING OF TIRED over here.  

I looked at my coffee water left from the night before.  I reheated some.  It was so watery and sad.  I knew it wouldn't do any good, but I was desperate.  The SOS moms said they could bring some, but pick up wasn't until 10am, a whooping hour and a half away.  I poured some milk into my coffee water and put it in the microwave.  I took a big gulp and then looked into my cup.  

A small dark object with wings floated into view.  

A fruit fly.

In my coffee water.  

After 4 hours of sleep.  

And I actually contemplated picking it out and going forward. 

Instead, I dumped my coffee.  The betrayal.  After all we went through, it was over.

But you know what?  Those SOS moms, they were fierce with love for me.  They showed up early.  With coffee. Three of them.  And I drank all three cups! 

I was full as they reminded me of my community, that even in silly post slumber party coffee pity, all I have to do is reach out, admit I need something because I was thinking only of scavenger hunts and hard forgotten about my deep need for coffee.  I have a community of people who think I'm wonderful, despite my lack.  Who appreciate the night off I just gave them.  Who will show up early because they understand that this is a mama emergency.  With each sip of my delivered coffee, I thanked God for those ladies.  

Coffee and I made up, we are having a better week this week, and I see only good things in our future. I also smell them.  All. The. Time.  

 Thanks friends! 

Just a few funnies I wrote down from a "few" months back (ha. July.)

Lawrence (on the phone with me while I was at the store/bank giving him specific instructions about something):  "I don't know, I'll just call Julia and ask her" 

Me: "Why can't you just let me tell you right now?" 

Lawrence: "Because you are kind of panicking for some reason and I really want to get off the phone with you"

After we hung up, I laughed and laughed and laughed.  Because he was TOTALLY right.  I was late, had to pee, unload groceries, wearing a jacket when it was way too hot to wear a jacket, I was giving him specific instructions and I could tell he wasn't listening to them, so the agitation in my voice was MORE than a little bit obvious.  He was so right.  I did sound like I was in a shear panic.  And I think it's funny that he wanted to get off the phone with me and was candid about it.  This probably won't even sound funny to anyone else, but it reminds me about something intangible that is great about us.

Me: Addie, please don't be so rough with Bryson's hand while you show him how to do that, be gentle 

Addie: I have to, mama. I'm rough, I'm a rougher, that's what roughers do.  They say rough, rough, rough.  So if you tell me not to do that, I will say I am a rougher. 

(Covering my mouth to hide laughter)

Addie: Lily, you are really smart 

Lily: I know.  I'm really smart for a six year old, but I'm not really smart for an adult.  You are really smart too. 

Addie: I know. 

Photos by Holly Kae

Sorry, but my 3 year old is FUNNY

Addie wakes me up by crawling into bed with me WAY too early and spooning, facing me, and then starts talking about something random at full volume.

Addie: (sniff sniff right in my face) Mommy, did you toot?

Me: (Surprised, awake, annoyed, turning away) No, Addie that's probably my breath...

Addie: (after a few minutes of consideration) Why yo breat mell like toots?

And that, my friends, is the best way to wake up ever.

Sister, don't come looking to me for all the answers...

On the way to her 6 year check up last [edited to add TWO WEEKS AGO] Tuesday (side note: she is 45 lbs/45 inches, that puts her in to percentile 50 & 50. Here eyesight for both eyes is 20/20, yes she is a squared child.) Lily told me a funny story about a conversation she and Addie had the night before at bedtime.

We could hear them giggling up there for almost a half hour, they were both excited about an upcoming trip to Grandma Lanie's house. The talked about all the pillows and guys they would pack. I'd limited them both to only 2 guys, a blanket, and a pillow. Lily chose her penguin (no brainer) and after much consideration decided on her Uncle Matt doll. Addie took a LOOOOOOONG time to mull it over and decided on 2 bear - bears. This was a huge shocker to us all, since she needs her 2 bear-bears to do nearly everything. haha. Lily has skirted the system by sleeping on her Sammy the Pup stuffed animal as a pillow, thus that is her pillow. Since Lily isn't bringing a regular pillow, Addie wants to be aloud another guy. Instead she settled on a pillow that Bean-Bean's parents sent her for her birthday. So it's all set. Or you'd think. But actually AFTER this discussion, there was a long bout of giggling and talking. I love the sisterhood. I'll admit I have moments of hating it, the arguing, the whining, the comparing. But mostly, I LOVE it. Each time I think one of them is getting cheated out of their own room, I think how special it is to go to sleep with a friend each night...

Okay so back to the conversation:

Me: Lily, can you take your hands out of your mouth, we are about to go in to the doctors office and there are a lot of germs there, you are finally not sick, so let's keep it that way.

Lily: Mom, last night in bed I was coughing in bed. But it only lasted for a minute, so it must have been allergies.

(perfect logic since we spend much of the spring time figuring out if daddy is getting sick or if it's just allergies).

Lily continued: I was coughing really hard and Addie said, "Lily I hope you don't throw up. If you throw up, I promise you, I won't know what to do."

(Insert me laughing which caused Lily to laugh - so the next part was through escalating giggles).

But I said, "Addie, if I throw up, I don't expect you to know what to do, I would run to the bathroom and go to the toliet, I WOULD NOT ask you what I should do!!

Addie said, "Okay, that's a good idea, because I do NOT know what to do"

If you know Addie you can hear her cute squeaky voice, pronouncing in ALL seriousness and importance to Lily who is barely coughing, that if she barfs, do no look to her 3-year-old self for all the answers, because she'll tell you right upfront, she doesn't have them.

I laughed until I cried. My cutie. Cuties. Plural. Lily LOVES it when she makes me laugh. She can't get enough. She laughs when she says anything that makes anyone laugh and then she spends the next two days asking why so many times you'd think she was 2 years old again. "Why did you laugh when I said...." "Why did Addie say...." trailing off into a fit of hysterics as she lavishes at the memory of your and her laughter.

Sometimes it drives me crazy, and I'm like, "Okay, Lil, I don't know why so and so said this or that," or "Because it was FUNNY!" (Now that you've tried to get me to describe it 100x and three days later, not quite SO funny, but still...funny and now a little bit annoying.)

But other times I think of how good it makes you feel to make someone else laugh. That belly laugh that makes your cheeks beam when someone really gets you. Or thinks your story is funny. Or thinks YOU are funny, in a great way. That does feel good, and you do want to relive the moment. So I get that when you are six, you just want to remember how it feels and why you want to get your mom to keep recreating it.

Just so we are clear, though. If you do have to vomit, do not go to Addie, she simply does not know what to do in such a predicament.

Frugal Pretend Play

Lily had last Wed-Fri off of school for conferences, veteran's day, and teacher work day. I had to work a lot more than usual, and was really impressed with how great the kids did. They behaved well for Julia and were really sweet to me, not whiny, just appreciated the time we had together and not much guilt inducing complaints. The girls have been playing REALLY well together. The way they used to, when they acted like best friends instead of sisters. I has been so much fun to not break up fights, and let them play a little longer before dinner, nap, bedtime because they are just getting along so well, laughing and agreeing, listening to each other in their pretend play.

Yesterday evening the girls were again playing together beautifully. We (Lawrence and I) were headed out for dinner with friends after bed time but we didn't waste a moment before that, playing up until the time we were to leave. We made a boat out of a box and it was really fun. Lawrence snuffed my ideas of how to make a sail and in the end I WAS RIGHT. Heh. After the boat was finally crafted, all three kids sat in the boat for a long time, and then Lily and Addie sailed alone. Lily was the mommy and Addie was the daughter. I was the grandma and I was babysitting Bryson while they were off on their adventure. When it was time to get PJs on, I told them to go upstairs, pick out jammies, and bring them down. They pretended that they had forgotten to pack them on their voyage and they had to stop at a store. As they ran upstairs to the "store" I ask them if they could "buy" some for Bryson too, and "don't forget a pull up for Addie and a sleep diaper for Bryson".

They had great fun shopping for pajamas in their drawers.

When they came down, Lily handed me a pair of Bryson's PJs and said, "I got these Christmas ones at the store for a dollar".

"Oh Thanks, the dollar store?" I asked

"No, a regular store, the were just a good deal."

"Cool, thanks", I laughed

"Addie wanted to get a Firetruck shirt and Firetruck bottoms, but those were ten dollars and there is no way I was going to spend TEN dollars on clothing! "

"Especially for someone else's kid."

HA! I wasn't sure whether to feel proud about that pretend frugal/greedy mommy or hide under a pillow!

Out of the Past: My Panties are Too Tight

I was planning to win a blog contest this week. A new washer and dryer were at stake. Yes. All I had to do was blog M-F this week and follow a series of blog post topics that they suggested. I was excited because the first three blog topics were about bringing back 3 old blogs. First, your first "real" blog. You know the one beyond saying, Hi, this is a blog, I'm not really sure what to write about. The second was to find an old meaningful post that you wish more people read - add some reflections on how you feel about it now, and the third was to repost your blog with your all time favorite blog title.

Since I "blogged-but-didn't-call-it-blogging-because-it-was-a-baby-journal" with babysites.com for 2 years upon finding out I was pregnant with Addie in 2006, I occasionally log back into that and find some real gems. A while back I called these posts I reposted "out of the past", named for one of the newspaper columns my mom invented at her paper, and has been writing weekly for as long as I can remember. I haven't been in my "past" for a long time though. It's password protected because I wrote it more like a journal and I shared info about things and people who I knew did not have that password. There was also always way TMI. That's also true with this blog, but now I'm comfortable with it, and I've always written this with the openness that anyone could read it. Unlike my babysites.

So (run on sentence alert) in the blog contest that actually started last Monday rather than this Monday so I missed the whole thing (FAIL!), aka I will not be winning the beautiful Turquoise W&D set that was up for grabs, I still did a lot of thinking and the 3rd day blog topice with my favorite blog title would have been the babysites I wrote titled "My Panties Are Too Tight".

I wrote this post on 9/4/08 after I'd broken my foot. We'd just returned from a wonderful vacation, Addie had just learned to walk, and I'd just found out that I couldn't walk or drive for 6 weeks (which turned into 8 weeks at the next dr appt). I'd also been told that if I stepped down on my foot even once it would mean I'd need surgery because the broken bone was so small and fragile, one step would do me in. That would lead to a do over and restart date in my healing.

A few weeks ago, I was put in touch with a mom who has 3 kids, same age as mine, her oldest is named Lily (she's been the "other Lily" in my daughters school for the past 2 years.) We've hear a lot about each other since our girls had the same teachers, but we'd never met before. She has two girls and a boy, her youngest is 8 months. We have a lot in common. Today I just saw on FB that she broke her leg in three places and had to have surgery. No walking for 8 weeks. The past just flooded me. When I went to go find her a blog I'd written here about how bad it sucks, I realized that most of the foot breaking blogs were in the protected babysite, and since I was going to post this one any way for the contest I can't win, I'll do it now. Enjoy. And appreciate your two working legs.

Without further run on ado:
**************************************
9/4/2008
My Panties are Too Tight

I started the day out with a pretty good outlook. One of my friends is going through a tough break up and her heart is broken. While talking her off the ledge I was thinking about what it feels like to have a broken heart (knowing all the advice I was giving I would NEVER have taken, tho my last broken heart was 10 year ago so maybe I would now take that advice at 30). Anyway it got me to thinking. I keep saying, "this is just a foot, not a life, I'm not in a coma or have cancer, it's a small bone". But then after talking to my friend I remembered that even a broken heart takes years to heal, and how I wouldn't trade with her for the world! At least I know when this pain will end.

In other good news we have figured out help for the next 6 weeks. During that time I have 3 weeks of mornings on my own, but at least I have care for my kids during the day, thanks to Susannah (my 11yo cousin), Tamara (new nanny), my mom, and Lawrence's mom, we are covered until Oct 14...Lily's bday. That sounds like a good day to be able to move! Now I just have to coordinate drop off and pick up of Lily for school some of the days, and how do I get her ready to go if I do find her a ride.

My triceps are the most sore today, the bruises on the palms of my hands are a close second, then my foot, strangely enough.

My friend Robin called today to tell me she was bringing me coffee and cookies tomorrow. I told her thanks but I need bread and Tampons instead. She said she'd bring both. :) Oh yes, in other great and too much information news, I started my period yesterday too. My cold that I acquired on the plane ride home from our wonderful vacation is feeling better today tho. Could vacation really have ended just 5 days ago? It doesn't seem possible.

So let me TRY to describe how I'm feeling at the end of a day. The feeling I have is like when you are out and about and you realize you wore panties that were too tight. Like WAY too tight, you can't-believe-that-you-actually-convinced-yourself-that-these-fit-when-you-got-dressed-this-morning kind of tight and worse, you left for the day in them, they are cutting into your inner thigh like two rubber bands tying of fat leg sausages, and they are riding up your crack so far you can barely sit still during a meeting at work. There's no chance of digging them out without fully taking your pants down, and it's no use, they are just too too small. When you get home you come up the stairs to your room, your mouth watering at the relief of being without this terrible restriction, you kick them into the garbage, and look for the softest, t-shirt like sweatpants to wear all night, commando.

That's sort of how I feel when I come up the stairs in this freaking painful restrictive air cast. I'm so pumped to get home and take it off, only to realize that's NOT happening. And I have to wear it for 7 weeks 5 days more! And I feel this way several times a day, waiting/excited for relief, realizing I can't have any.

Today was Lily's first day of school and I had to go. Highlights were getting out the door, hitching a ride, taking her potty, sitting in preschool sized chairs in a preschool sized room trying to not trip everyone with my foot and crutches, or worse tripping a toddler on to my foot equaling surgery, and staying an hour past everyone else, waiting for our "ride", only to realize he didn't have a car seat for Lily.

Yeah yeah, I am comedian, but just dealing with this the best I can.

Wheelchair gets delivered tomorrow.

***********************************
After talking to my new friend, and remembering so vividly how hard it was to get through that time, I am reminded today to not complain about things because I have a healthy body that works perfectly today (even if it is pretty sore from Kayaking with Lawrence yesterday). That, and I'm thankful that my panties are NOT too tight.

Old Man Lily

I promised myself I would start writing down conversations that make me (and the grandparents) laugh out loud.

Lawrence: Lily come here let me tuck in your [soccer] shirt
Lily: (preferring the Erkel look) Is it supposed to do that like that?
Lawr: What, blouse out a little?
Lily: Yeah
Lawr: Yes, it looks good that way - you look sharp
Lily: I look like an old man!
Lawr: Is that how old men wear their shirts?
Lily: Yes, it's how Grandpa Steve does his
Lawr: Gpa Steve's belly does that to his shirt.
Lily: Oh, (in gruff voice, walking like a ape with arms out) I look like an old man, I am Grandpa Steve, this is my belly doing this to my shirt.

What? Girl cracks me up. If we weren't running late, I totally would have had her call Grandpa himself to tell him the story. I just love her perception! So funny.

Meanwhile she looks like the littlest cutest soccer girl ever. Soccer Saturday take 2.

And look at that, it didn't take too long and I'll actually remember the story now

99 luftballons

You kind of had to be there, and I'm disappointed that this is the only picture we got of our Luftballons jump mania.


We had SO much fun in Joseph going out with Bean - Bean. Since she is normally our sitter for date night, we haven't ever really had a date night with her and we just had a blast, while Grandma Lanie watched the three kids. In Joseph, everything is in walking distance, so on Saturday night we headed down to The Stubborn Mule and The Hydrant for some fun with our friends. At the Stubborn Mule there was a, get this, BIKINI competition. Yes, this little town is 1000 people, and not really where you'd expect a tiki party complete with fire throwing tricks. (A whole other post on that. The guy actually threw and dropped a fire baton/stick which caught a guy's hat and drink on fire...that only stopped him for about 5 minutes when the fire tricks continued!) Anyway, we were a little too old for the party that was happening at that bar, so we walked one block to the OTHER bar in Joseph and it was pretty much empty, ours for the taking. We were a group of 20+ (since the extended Shaw family alone was like 10 of them). We Kareokeed and danced and drank and had a really good time.

We decided to JUMP when this song came on and again, just so much fun. Sabine wouldn't Kareokee it in German like everyone wanted her to do... :)



Or in German:




Other memorable parts of the night.

OZ sarenading Sabine
Lawrence stealing mikes + cowboy hats
Carrie Phillips has still got it!
Halle getting Bean to do a shot "lemon drop"
Bean Bean imidating our tweaky bartender
Laughing heads off with MegMeg
Lawrence and OZ singing "their" song
Michael yelling DungeonMaster at Joe 10,000+x
Jer and Lawrence doing a horrific job of "Baby got Back"

You know, the fun and goodness of old friends + being there with Sabine + a super fun hubby who I love dearly, just brings a big huge smile to my face.

Nicknames

There have been a few times recently when I wish we "hadn't gone down that road" where nicknames are concerned. I'll explain in a moment.

Here are some of the nick names for our family members. Nothing too crazy.

Me - Jenny, Jen, Mama, Mom, Moms
Lawrence - Daddy, Dad, Lawr, Lawrey, Dads
Lillian (5 year old) - Lily, Lils the Pils, Lils
Adeline (2.5 year old) - Addie, Ads the Pads, Ads
Bryson (4 month old) - Brys, Bryssee
Sabine (our Au Pair) - Bean Bean
Gigi (Lily's favorite doll since 8 mths old) - Jeeger, Jeegs

So as you can see there has been this "theme" to our nicknames that you shorten the word and ad an 's' to the end. (I wonder why Bean Bean hasn't gone to "Beans?" Hmmm...not sure. We should give that a try!)

When I was about to have Addie, and Lily was 2.5, I was trying to think of what we could "call" breastfeeding. I'd heard some nicknames that were less than desirable for me and my family, and I wanted be proactive about our 'name' for it. I certainly did not want a school-ager talking about my "boobie". Ig.

Well at that age, Lily was doubling everything she said. So somehow we started calling it, er, them, "boo boos". Sounds innocent enough, right? Addie was drinking out of mommy's boo boos. Does Daddy have boo boos? Nope. Daddy has Nip nips. I have nip nips like daddy. Okay, you get the idea.

It wasn't a big deal at the time, Lily would wonder why some babies don't drink out of their mama's boo boos, or why she didn't have boo boos, or why Katy had boo boos even though she didn't have a baby to feed. The name seemed normal and harmless. Feeew, glad to handle that crisis, right?

Along comes my next pregnancy and pending breastfeeding with Bryson. Well, now I have 2 talkative girls clammering on about boo boos and nip nips and feeding their babies with their nip nips pretending they are boo boos. Yes, it's a little more boo boo talk than I'd rather, but hey, I'm sleep deprived and they are getting along. So what's it to ya?

Until...she said this to me.

Her: "Mama, when I grow up, I want to have nip nips like daddy and not boo boos like you. I want to keep my nip nips".

Me: "Oh honey, you don't have to worry about that for a long time. You'll have boo boos when you are a mommy, but you'll keep your nip nips until then." Heh.

Her: "But I don't want boo boos like you. They are, like, LONG". Yes my friends, she said LONG!

Me: Nothing

Her: "See ya mom!"

So as I'm thinking about this conversation and the fact that there is enough boobage going on in our breast milk riddled home that my five year old thinks mine are, ahem, long, I laughed. I laughed at the fact that we say nicknames in our homes, and they don't seem weird to us until we look back a few years and think about how nonsense words because like regular language. Bear-bear and woobie and paci and blowout, these are terms we know. And we know some of the ones at our friends houses too, because we are all right there.

It reminds me of a story my mother in law told me about an old man friend of theirs telling a story to a group about having a blowout while he was in his car. Ewe right? She was mortified that he'd share such a thing. He was talking about a tire on the freeway! For those of you who don't know what she THOUGHT he was talking about, that's okay, but let's just say some of us think of something ELSE when you say blowout, that's all. And we can't imagine a day that Les Schwab could take care of a blowout. Our context is sort of warped and hilarious if you stop and think about it.

So to sum up my nickname story. Short and sweet storyteller than I am not.

Back to the nick names. Moms, Dads, Ads, Lils.

Well.

She started calling them "Boobs".

You know, short for Boo boo.

Great.

Katy's getting married!

If you know us at all I'm sure you remember our summer nanny for the last two summers, Katy. Katy worked part time for us while she was getting her masters and waiting to become a teacher. There was one other thing Katy was waiting for while she was working for us. She was waiting for the love of her life to propose. And finally in December, he DID!!! They have a July wedding planned.

Click HERE to see the most amazing engagement photos I've ever seen. Not to mention some pretty cool shots that show of how beautiful Portland's downtown waterfront is! How beautiful of a bride is she going to be? I can't wait!

Do over, I want this photographer to do MY engagement photos. (No offense to Lawrence's dad, Steve, who got some great shots of us in their NJ front yard next to a killer bush for our engagement photos!) I felt better when I told my friend Carrie about our bush engagement photo background and she said, "Engagement photos, what engagement photos?" :) Okay, good.

CONGRATS TO KATY AND ANDY. I'm sure I'll have an awesome blog post about how much fun we had at their wedding later this summer.

Three Cheers for Uncle Matt

For the last week I have been gearing up to be on my own with all three kids during the day for the first long periods of time. Sabine went to visit a friend in the Midwest and check out Chicago (a much deserved mini vacation for her!) I know this shouldn't be so difficult, but there are a lot of different little needs going on around here - and I'm still figuring out how to meet them all while going on very little sleep. For example, while alone one morning, I was nursing Bryson (who hasn't been nursing great by the way, though you'd never know it by his enormous size!) and I hear "Addie went POOPIE in the potty, mama", so I know that if I stop Bryson from eating, he won't start again, and I'd really love for him to get a full feeding, but I also know that Addie CANNOT yet wipe herself. For a moment I consider asking Lily to wipe her, but then I remember, um, she's FIVE and I doubt she'd actually go for it anyway, no matter how big of a help she likes to be...this might be where she'd draw the line. So I ask Lily to get me a wipe from Bryson's changing table and bring it to me, and tell Addie to come into his room next to the glider where I'm nursing, and I wipe her little poopie bottom while feeding my two month old, all the while Lily is laughing hysterically while I demand for her to bring me a plastic baggie and some hand sanitizer to dispose of the wipe. It takes her 10 minutes to do this as she is simply drunk with all the laughter. And yet I feel pretty good about finding a solution. I said to my mom the other day, "I have three children, I need to learn to take care of them all by myself". Even if it means I have to wake Bryson from a short nap, throw him and Addie in their car seats and race to be the last mom in car line to pick Lily up from preschool, with my shoes untied and my teeth not brushed, apologizing to her teacher for my lateness. I still think, "Yay, I did it!" haha. Lily says, "Mom, I knew you were coming, sometimes you are late". Yes Lil, "sometimes" I am. Only sometimes.

So, while I know I CAN do it, at the same time.....

...I felt OH so relieved that my little brother said he was free and on his way through town and could stay for 2 nights. Even if I wasn't on my own, I knew it would make the girls so happy. They adore, ADORE their uncle Matt. And they spent two days climbing all over him, wrestling, dancing, game playing, crafting, make believing, you NAME it, they played it. He even got Addie down for 2 naps!! He's also come along way with maneuvering an infant and wasn't awkward with Bryson like he used to be with the girls. (No offense meant by that, holding a newborn IS awkward when they feel so breakable). It isn't always fun and games. The girls are always so excited that they go nuts and misbehave for the first full day of seeing him. They can't get enough that they act like lunatics! I wish he could see them in their natural environment so he would know that they are good girls. I know he does know that, but he always has to deal with them being so spastic and riled up that it is many hours of CRRRAAAAZZZY when he arrives! :) Exhausting would be an understatement. But luckily he's young and seems to always muster up all the energy required to have fun with them whenever he's needed.

Bryson gave him lots of smiles and also made sure he knew that he was happy to see him.
When it was time for Matt to leave the girls were very sad. They were happy that they got to see his girlfriend, Heather, who came to pick him up. Lily played HARD the last 30 minutes with them (yet another made up game of taking off socks!) and was pretty sad to go to school, even though she had a field trip to the fire department.

Matt is in the National Guard, and so since he signed up there has been the possibility of him being deployed. Now we know, he will have to go for a year, probably leaving in August. We don't know where yet, or even if we'll get to know where, but I can't stop thinking about how hard it will be to have him gone for so long. I will miss my brother, but my children will miss their Uncle Matt so so much.

I have a lot to be thankful for lately. I'm WAY behind on thank yous. Thank yous of many types - any of you reading may be sick of hearing me say thanks to people by the time I get caught up on thanking people in my life. But I am so thankful for the last few days with my little brother and with the fun he got to have with my girls. And even though it shouldn't make a difference in the way we love our family, I can't help but being more nostalgic about our time together. Knowing that we won't be together next Christmas or next Thanksgiving made this Thanksgiving and THIS Christmas all the more special. And as the Fall draws closer I know I will feel that more and more each time we see each other.

Thank you so much, Uncle Matt. Even though the girls get so excited, and they wear you out, and Lawrence and I use you as our personal tech support guy, and even though I didn't feed you yesterday on accident, I hope that when you leave our home, you feel and know one thing beyond a shadow of a doubt.

You are loved.

Dolly playdate

Last night Bryson had what is sure to be the first of many many many times playing dolls with his sisters. He and the rest of the babies in the house had a play date, and boy did they have fun.

I mean, the girls have been having a lot of play dates lately, so why should we leave Bryson out.

Here he is with all of his new friends. I'm not sure why they are all so scantily clad. Bryson didn't know it was no pants day, but was glad he fit in...
Tail end of a smile...
I think his eyes are gonna be blueAddie is such a rebel sibling picture taker...(insert laugh and head shake), Lily on the other hand will do any and everything to be photographed with her brother, or to get a picture of "the three".

So we move to Addie's spot...better.
Hey girls let's get a picture of you kissing your brother's cheek (remembering a cute photo I'd seen like this with each sib kissing baby's cheek).
Oh wait...not like that. Sigh. Bryson survives another malling.


Look how peaceful he looks! This melts me. Another chiro appt today, and he is doing so great.

I took Lily to Bryson's chiro appt with me today and then to Michael's where she bought a Valentine craft with her own money. We had lunch (she ate, while I nursed Bryson in the car) and then I took her to school. It was a long exhausting morning ( maybe my own version of supermom?) for me after a long stretch of being up last night. However, it was really good quality time with Lily. I enjoyed the long car ride each way talking with her, and then Michael's was fun too. Sometimes my head is spinning and I'm not in the moment with her, and this is probably the best, most quality time that I have spent with her since B's birth. It was really really nice. While we were away, Addie had a play date with Sabine and another au pair with a 2 year old boy, Milo. Her new friend! :)

Friday we swap and Addie goes to the chiro with B and mommy while Lily gets a play date with her friend Nathaniel. I hope that goes just as well.

We have a week of birthday parties, dentist appts, postpartum appts, etc, etc, coming up next week, so busy, busy. I've even made 2 coffee dates. Like ahead of time. Plans. For me. Is this what you call functional? Plus I start the 30-day shred on Monday with 4 friends! I'm so glad that I reached out and asked a few of my good friends to do this with me, I was planning on going it alone and now I feel so much more certain I can stick with it because I reached out, and as it turns out, they are all so happy as well for an excuse to get going and have accountability...virtual accountability of course!

I have been working with Bryson the last 3 days on a schedule and getting to sleep out of arms/swing/etc. The last 2 days he has fallen asleep FOUR times for naps in his crib when laid down awake but drowsy with no crying and no intervention on my part. Night times haven't been as good, but he has slept the last 2 nights in his own room. I can't tell yet, if I'm getting more sleep or less, but I think the sleep I am getting is a little deeper than when he was next to me.

Speaking of sleep, time to do some of that!

Oh, MckMama, you do make me laugh

Remember when we all prayed for Stellan a few weeks ago? And it was a miracle, his very risky ablation worked? And how we all cried tears of Joy for this mama whose heart was on her sleeve?

Well, I just LOVED her post today, I LOVED reading that things like this happen to us all. HAHAHAHA. Oh daddies, you are so lucky to have us...and it's okay if we are the only ones who know it! Maybe that's the way it should be.

http://www.mycharmingkids.net/2009/11/small-victory.html

Whooshie Cushie

You might remember from THIS post the funniest part of our trip to NJ.

But I won't make you re-read to the end where this story was:

With a bunch off tickets of the NJ boardwalk I picked a prize of a whoopie cushion for Lily. Because, why not, they are funny and I wanted to see what my kids would do with it. First off, Lily called it a whooshie cushie. Secondly, after Lawrence blew it up for her and told her to squeeze it, she did and then said "It makes an elephant noise". Then things like "What do you think the elephants at the zoo would do if I brought my whooshie cushie to the zoo?" She laughed her head off each time and then thought it was still an elephant noise. We laughed so hard. On the plane ride home, I had it in my purse folded up. I mouthed across the aisle and 2 strangers to Lawrence, "We have only been on this plane for 4 hrs, and that means 2.5hrs left, do you want the whooshie cushie for Lily?" For some reason both of us thought that was so funny that we laughed and laughed and laughed until tears rolled down our faces.

Now here we are present day:

Lily went on, imagining that this was an elephant noise maker for the last few weeks...until the other day. Lily sat on the blown up whoosie cushie and Addie yells "TOOT!!" and we all laugh. It was funny. And then she did it again and Addie again, yells " TOOT TOOT". Lily laughed so hard I thought might hurt herself, and I laughed too at the next few outputs of the whooshie cushie. Vulgar at it is, it is funny. A 2 year old knows it and a 4 year old knows it, and I know it. (do I have to say that my husband knows it, doesn't that go without saying for a male) And what hadn't occured to Lily was suddenly SO obviously to Addie! That sound is a TOOT! of course it sounds like a TOOT!

I wonder how much more pleasure this prize will give us. I guarantee you that mug L wanted to get me NEVER would have provided this much entertainment. Video coming soon.

7 blogs in 7 days...day 1

Our sweet family of 5!

Loving Grandpa's Convertible!

I saw this on another mom's blog and I thought it was also a great idea for my blogging. I have A LOT I am behind on blogging. Probably more than 7. But right now I'm going to commit to writing a blog a day for 7 days. Let's see how this goes, even if it doesn't catch me up, it does get 7 of the most important blogs out there. Comments might help motivate me (hint, hint!). All you lurkers out there who have never left a comment, now is your chance. Also if you are behind on your blogs, I challenge you to do 7 blogs for 7 days. Let's get caught up on our blogs together! :)

First up, our trip to NJ - longest blog ever!

We left at the crack of dawn on Saturday, 9/5 to get to the airport in time for our 7:30am flight which arrived at Newark at 4pmish. Sabine drove us and we were relieved to get a text from her at 7:05am saying she had arrived home. It is funny how we often feel like we have another child, and adult child to worry about. But in a good way.

First Lawrence and I decided to TRY and scam the system. We have done this before and it has worked out wonderful. We book our flights for the aisle and window seat on both sides of the plane, then if someone gets seated between us, we ask that person to trade the MIDDLE seat for the aisle. Great. Then we have more seats than people which sounded like it could be very helpful when traveling with 2 small children, a man with big shoulders who will fight to the death over an arm rest, and a 6 mth pregnant lady. Well, both flights were oversold so no chance on getting lucky with an extra seat, or two. Boo. Oh well, I traded with the middle so I could keep trapped in by the window and Lawrence opted for the aisle to guarantee both armrests were his. I sat next to Addie because she would have wanted me anyway and would try to crawl across strangers laps to get there. Screaming "mama" full force. Both kids wanted to sit with me.

But then she is this cute and how can you not want to sit by her?

The flight was relatively uneventful, besides somehow almost missing the boarding while slowly eating our breakfast at PDX. Addie shrieked a few times before her 45 nap and she also watched Elmo loves you on my laptop (aka heaviest portable dvd player ever without the password for wireless internet at my in-laws) for 45 minutes. Since that flight is 5 hrs long it left me 3.5 hrs to entertain her doing different things in 5 minute (at best) increments. It also meant me bending over my stomach 7 million times to the "backpack of tricks". The landing was pretty rough so at one point the plane totally dropped and Addie looked at me terrified and said "DOWN!". I was actually a little scared too, it was a rough landing. All in all she was pretty good, just a typical 2 year old. If you asked Lawrence, the kids were "awesome" on the first flight, as he colored with Lil watched the in flight movie and read 2 magazines cover to cover (repeat on the way home minus the in flight movie since it cost $6 this time).

When we got to Lawrence's parents house, the kids were happy to explore the grounds, find out what toys were what, learn the rules of "touch" or "no-touch", etc." I was dying to get out of my velour sweatsuit since it was an unexpected 86 degrees, hoping a friendly neighbor wasn't watching out the window wating to say hello as I knocked them over on my way in to the house stripping my sweaty sweatpants and hoodie. I got lucky and was in a tank top and skirt before the first guest arrived.

Sitting backward eating together (Lily, Tyler, Cassie, & Addie)Uncle Lawrence and Cassie (Uncle Jenny not pictured)

The cousins arrived shortly and the kids had a great time getting reaquainted. Addie was mostly loving her cousing Tyler ("Ty-ty"), much to the chagrin of her older cousin, Jayme. Lily on the other hand was so thrilled to see Jayme, and that she could show off Addie, often dragging her around. We ate a yummy dinner made by my mother-in-law ("Grandma, how did you make these YUMMY carrots?" "I bought them at Shop-Rite, Peeled them, Cut them, Cooked them") Lily ate all her carrots and Addie made all the kids laugh by turning her chair backwards to eat. It was especially great to see Laureen and the kids again (everyone else we've seen since April), and I felt a little teary eyed saying hello to them all. Time passes so quickly and lives are so busy that sometimes it takes seeing someone to realize how much you miss them.

The next day we had bagels for breakfast and talked about how they don't know how to make bagels on the West Coast. We had a BBQ had Lawrence's brother's hous and we invited everyone over. It was awesome, we saw some friends and family that we were expecting to see and several that we didn't know for sure if they would make it. Besides, Mark, Laureen, & Kids, and Carol and Steve, we saw the Curtis's, the Schwartzbergs, the Mirros, the Dutka, the Levines, the Finkelsteins, Eric Moon Daniels, the Kleins, Morgan & Elliot, and Weslowskis. I know I have butchered the spelling in those names, but listen, do you want this blog to get published or not? Also sorry if I forgot someone. Hey, I know, leave that as a comment!! It was really so much fun, more fun than I was expecting - and I was expecting fun. Many of those people we haven't seen in 3+ years and a few even longer. It was really great. Again, I didn't realize how happy it would make me to see everyone until I saw them. And the kids are all HUGE. Really, most of the "oldest" kids in the family were born while we lived in NJ over 7 years ago and most we haven't seen for 3-4+ years. They are all big kids. Mine are the youngest, except for Stacy and Rich's little girl Ava (10 mths old).

R to L Lawrence, Moon, Tommy, Me, Addie, & Chris...our friends!Risa, Alyx, & Lily (Alyx was Addie's age when we met, such a sweet young lady now!)

Monday we played at Grandma and Grandpa's house in the morning and met more of their friends while Mark and Laureen ran errands and then decided to BBQ again at Mark and Laureen's and invited friends who had a wedding the night before and couldn't make it, the Gawrons. About half way through the afternoon we all decided to go to Jersey Freeze, one of Lawrence's favorite Ice Cream places from childhood which has rumored to be shutting down. Did you know they don't know how to make Ice Cream on the West...OH COME ON, Ice Cream we can do!!! :) We got a quick family photo there, and said good byes to the cousins who had shopping to do, work and school the next day. Jayme and Lily couldn't let go of each other, and again it was so sweet it brought tears to my eyes.Our kids with their Aunt Laureen and Uncle Mark and Jayme and Lily never ever wanting to let go of each other promising to skype every day. Which we realistically promised to them Fridays.

The whole Herman Family - that's all of us!Addie gives Ty-Ty a kiss and says WAKE UP!Dairy free table enjoys some "ices"Me and my Lils

Addie was mad when we got back to Grandma and Granpas house because they had told her to tell Tyler that she was going on an airplane (in hopes to wake him up from his car ride nap), so she did and said good bye. She thought that meant we'd be going directly to the airport. She was NOT happy to be back at G&Gs when she said her goodbyes to Ty-Ty and was giong to go on the Airplane. We ordered pizza, and talked about how people on the West Coast do not know how to eat. Lily thought it tasted the same, but liked learning to fold her pizza and the fact that she got pizza RIGHT before bedtime.

To quote Addie before bedtime "MY WANT TO AIRPANE, NOW!"

Tuesday our flight was not until 6 pm so we decided to go to the Jersey Shore Lawrence and Addie at Martell's

Sandcastles

and play on the boardwalk and the sand for a while. Lily said that it was better than our beach because it has rides, AND sand. And really what more can you ask for in life. The kids enjoyed playing games and claiming tickets and earning prizzes. They went on the carousel and an alligator ride and Lily went on a caravan ride while Addie headed back for another trip on the Carousel. Lily looked upset during her Caravan ride and I was annoyed at her for spending her last ride acting like a brat. Then. I found out that the little boy next to her had spit in her face. Then. I was the guiltiest mom ever and I wanted to kill that kid! This is the boy who spit in her face, look how happy she was before that. Damn kids!

Then I couldn't find him and we decided to play in the sand. Normally NJ beaches cost to get on them to play in the sand, but not today. Free! After we built a sandcastle and had lunch at Martell's Tiki Bar (a place, I noticed on the way out, I had never before left sober...oh the memories), and after my 6th trip to the bathroom since we arrived in Point Pleasant without anything to drink, Lily got 1500 tickets from a lady at one of the arcades.Showing me the sand on their toes and VERY happy about it!Seeing that YAY Addie is old enoughOn the carousel (see video below to hear the belly laughs!)Lily and Dad on his old stompin grounds - Jenkinsons

Lawrence wanted to get me a mug, no thanks, my bag was heavy enough thanks to the heaviest 10-key DVD player on earth. I traded that in for a whoopie cushion. Now for those of you who know me that probably doesn't sound very typical. But I just saw a FaceBook post recently where someone wrote that they couldn't believe the amount of fun a whoopie cushion was for a 3 year old, and I thought, why not?

This was by far the funniest part of our trip.

First off, Lily called it a a whooshie cushie. Secondly, after Lawrence blew it up for her and told her to squeeze it, she did and then said "It makes an elephant noise". Then things like "What do you think the elephants at the zoo would do if I brought my whooshie cushie to the zoo?" She laughed her head off each time and then thought it was still an elephant noise. We laughed so hard. On the plane ride home, I had it in my purse folded up. I mouthed accross the aisle and 2 strangers to Lawrence, "We have only been on this plane for 4 hrs, and that means 2.5hrs left, do you want the whooshie cushie for Lily?" For some reason both of us thought that was so funny that we laughted and laughed and laughed until tears rolled down our faces.

So that brings us to the worst part of the trip. 6.5 hrs on the plane home. Seriously tailwinds, an HOUR AND A HALF LONGER???? Why? I had Addie again and Lily begged Lawrence to get a window like Addie. Lily got the bright idea that maybe she could trade with Addie and Lawrence quickly (seeing the prospect of getting stuck with Addie) decided they would also trade MIDDLE seat for aisle rather than window. A BIG mistake the guy on the aisle did not know he was getting into.

(If you are reading this far, God Bless you, and also I'm either about to make you laugh hysterically or puke...not sure which one, I haven't written the events that followed yet).

About 5 minutes (or so we thought) to take off, Addie said, "poo poo mama". I checked her and sure enough, she'd gone. We were already pulled back from the gate so there was no way I was going to the bathroom. I didn't want to get in trouble for taking her seat belt off, and when I peaked in, it was already seeping up her back, past the diaper line. I put an airline pillow on her back and buckled her up tight, trying to ensure that she didn't kick her leg which sent wafting stink air around the plane. I tried to cover it up by opening a package of fruity fruit snacks. No go. The guy sitting next to me had already introducted himself, and he smelled of liquor. His name was John and he was moving to Portland for a job in Health Care Reform. He was originally from Point Pleasant and had never been West of Ohio, even for a visit. He went to Momouth University in Long Branch and was half way through his masters. He would be living near Lloyd Center with his new boss and wanted to know what I thought of that area and why. All this I learned before take off, while I was holding Addie'd legs down and feeding her fruit snacks, and keeping the poopy pillow which was soaking up the seepage into place. He was cute and single. He didn't notice I was pregnant. Or apparently that my daughter was leaking d-rea in our row. FINALLY cruising altitude, and I promised Lawrence anything, ANYTHING he wanted if he would take care of this. When he changed her she had a terrible diaper rash. This happened TWO more times. He changed them all. I still can't imagine the favors I'm in for over the next few days. He also took Lily potty once. Oh, and each time, the guy next to him (the aisle guy) was asleep. AND he was hogging the armreast. The other guy, so Lawrence actually had the nerve to complain about this guy. Once we were all in line for the bathroom and Lily was still in the seat and she started to cry and this poor guys wasn't sure what to do! Except help Lawrence and I hand snacks and toys back and forth to each other! :) Finally after bouncing off the walls, Addie fell asleep with an hour and a half left in the flight, Stinking but sleeping...finally

but she kept waking up in 10 minute increments because her diaper area was so red and painful. And of course I had no diaper cream on the plane. So was dilerious and asleep and inconsolable so once I'd get her back to sleep, I'd try hard not to move. When we landed my feet and legs were so swollen and painful I couldn't get my shoes back on. Somehow we convinced our sleepy children, both crying to walk to the front of the plane so we could regroup with a stroller. Again, Lawrence was my hero carrying way more than 2 arms should be able, leaving me with only the heaviest back pack on the planet.

The stink free fun on the other side of the aisle, and the sleeping Asian who was woken 1 million times

Sabine was so happy to see us. And Lily and Addie were so happy to see her, they talked her ear off the whole ride home. When Addie got home, she went straight to her room and got her "nammies" (PJs) out of the drawer. We changed her diaper and wiped her down with water and put cream on. She walked bow-legged to brush her teeth and didn't want her milk for bedtime. I felt so bad for her that I gave her Tylenol to try to ease the pain. She seemed so happy to crawl into her own bed with her princess blankie and two bear bears. Neither girl made a peep. Of course it was 11pm by this point, or 2am in NJ and with only a 4 day trip including flights who knows what time zone they were on. It didn't really matter. This morning she was really red again when she got up at 6:30a.

And that is the long detailed story of our trip to NJ. We had a blast, and are glad we don't have to do that flight again tomorrow. People talk about how hard it is to travel with out kids. Yes, it is difficult to sit cramped for 6 hrs on a plane no matter who you are, but it is not AS HARD. I looked around at all the people annoyed and complaining kidless on the flight and thought, you know EXACTLY what this flight has in store for you and it is entirely in your control. You knew before you got in which seating arrangement you'd want, you picked it, you brought what you wanted to read, you read it, you went pee when you had to, you slept when you wanted to, and you watched the $6 in flight tv/sitcoms/movies and it was worth every penny, because you saw 6.5 HOURS worth of TV. So while I wouldn't make the flight every day kidless, I'd definitely make it more often. We shudder at the thought of doing it next time with 3 kids, and there is no way we are leaving Sabine behind when that time comes! Of course it's only one day later, up for work bright and early, but you forget how hard it is as time passes. No matter how hard, it's all worth it to see those cousins hug or the smile of a friend or sister or brother you haven't seen in far to long. Thanks Mom and Dad and to Mark and Laureen for a really wonderful trip! :)

BOY, oh BOY

We found out today that Herman baby #3 will be a BOY! We are thrilled, and shocked! We both thought for sure we only made girls! :) I was actually nervous about telling Lily because of how much she wanted another sister, but she came around and laughed that we had a picture of the baby's "pee-pee". Actually laughed very very very hard at that.

The baby was practically squatting on the ultrasound as soon as she gelled me up! And we saw it. And it looks A LOT different than a girl when they show you these three little dots and tell you that this is the "girl" part. With a boy, you can tell.

I was feeling quite nervous about the health of the baby, and everything measuring properly. It all looked good. 3 vessel's in the cord, 4 chambers in the heart, proper sized brain and fluid, 10 toes, etc, etc. I feel so relieved.

He was an active little guy too. He would not sit still for the tech. Now...it COULD have been that vanilla latte I had this morning, or it COULD have been that I already have a busy body boy on my hands.

Either way, we are still in shock and so happy.
Wow! A son! Back to the drawing board for names...