8 months old

Dear Bryson,
Today you are 8 months old. I looked at your toes today while you fell asleep in the car next to me on the way home from your friend, Sullivan's first birthday party. We swam, we ate, we played, we laughed. Those toes were so fat and big with a chubby foot attached, I honestly would have bit down on them if I knew it wouldn't hurt you. Yummy. I carried your sleeping sweaty 20+ pound body up to your bed where you transferred like a dream. I stopped back and looked at you lying there on your side, and my breath caught as I soaked in the thought of how much I love you.

Today was a really good day. I NEEDED a really good day, and was so thankful for this day. You were so chill in the pool. In your little baby boat, it was your second time in it, and you just lay back, kick and chew on a toy. You make it look so relaxing and easy to be a baby in the pool.

You are all smiles all the time. Except when you're not, which is mostly only when you get strapped in your high chair and the food shoveling in hasn't began fast enough. Or when the music was too loud the other night at music in the park. Or when I come home from work and walk past you to wash my hands, and you start to cry like your feelings are hurt. I look back and say, "Just a second buddy, I have to wash my hands, I'll be right back." and you smile at me with teary eyes, like, okay mama but hurry. You are fine if I keep eye contact with you, but when I look away you get upset.

Your sisters were playing Peek-a-Boo with you tonight and had you laughing really hard. You also sat up on your own today from a tummy position. I think you've done it half way before, but this was really it. Lily babysat you today in quiet time for about 15 minutes, she took it very seriously. It was a big treat for her, one that she has been waiting and waiting for. Then Addie woke up from her nap, I told her to go downstairs but she heard you in the play room and joined you and Lily. When she opened the door, Lily said, "Me and Bryson are having QUIET time together" with such excitement.

You've been saying "Da da da da da da" a lot, sometimes "A da A da". Your sisters think you are saying Daddy and Addie. Lily wants to know when you will say Lily and Mama. Lily asked you a while ago who your best friend was and you said, "Dada" and she was so excited to tell Daddy that you think he is your best friend.

This week you said goodbye to Bean-Bean, the person who, other than mommy has spent the most time with you. You just smiled. You were happy that the whole family woke up extra early with you to take Bean-Bean to the airport. She was super sad to say good bye to you. She calls you her "buddy" or "Brysee".

We all call you Brysee.

Speaking of getting up early, you have been creeping your wake up time earlier and earlier. Usually around 5am. Then you've been waking up at night sometimes. WHAT IS THAT, DUDE? You've been sleeping through for the past 5 months, and NOW you are starting to wake up? This is stressing mommy out. We haven't really got into it yet, but let's just say your oldest sister didn't sleep, and mommy is somewhat TOTALLY obsessed with sleeping, or lack thereof. Anyway, last night was the first night in 2 weeks that I've gotten more than 5 hrs of sleep in a night (of course because Daddy decided he would get up with you, so you slept until 6:40, stinker).

I hope you are just excited about your new ability to army crawl super fast, or you have a tooth coming in, and this is just a phase. After I nurse you at 5am, you do NOT go back to sleep, you look up and start smiling your cute, one sided dimple smile at me, and then you pull my hair. Man, you have an ability to find the tiniest little pieces of hair to pull and it hurts. Everyone knows to keep hair away from your grubby little paws.

You really have taken to our new Au Pair, Julia. She LOVES you, it is obvious and you are doing very well for her. She's not quite sure what you are doing with your inconsistent naps, but who knows what you are doing with that? I couldn't be more pleased with how the two of you are doing. Especially with your new separation anxiety, I just wasn't sure if you'd be scared of her for a bit. You AREN'T. And it doesn't hurt that she is just great with you and you are happy all the time. On Thursday morning the girls were at playdates and VBS and I came down stairs to you and Julia climbing through a tunnel both laughing. It was really sweet.

Tomorrow we will try Yogurt. I'm nervous because when we tried Yogurt with Addie, that's when we found out about her milk allergy. You've been eating cheerios and bananas and watermelon for finger foods. You really like finger foods. You aren't that good at getting much into your mouth. With your sisters we had a Cheerio party on their 9 mth bday. Daddy, he LOVES Cheerios, eats them every single day, so the party is a rite of passage for him. I just gave you them one morning when you were yelling at me to hurry up with your oatmeal. I felt bad because he was really disappointed about that! :) You eat oatmeal with every meal.

Bryson, mommy wishes she had the brain power and time to write a more organized letter to you. I wish I would remember every month to take the pink doggy picture. I wish I bathed you more often. I wish I could capture more of the day to day wonderfulness you bring to my life. To all of the lives you are in. Did having you send me in to a tailspin of craziness for which I can't find my balance to save my life after 5 months of being back to work? YES! Is it so so so worth the overwhelmed out of controlness? Absolutely. You are amazing and wonderful. I'm so lucky to be your mommy. You happy little amazing man.

Thank you for everything,
Love,
Mama

99 luftballons

You kind of had to be there, and I'm disappointed that this is the only picture we got of our Luftballons jump mania.


We had SO much fun in Joseph going out with Bean - Bean. Since she is normally our sitter for date night, we haven't ever really had a date night with her and we just had a blast, while Grandma Lanie watched the three kids. In Joseph, everything is in walking distance, so on Saturday night we headed down to The Stubborn Mule and The Hydrant for some fun with our friends. At the Stubborn Mule there was a, get this, BIKINI competition. Yes, this little town is 1000 people, and not really where you'd expect a tiki party complete with fire throwing tricks. (A whole other post on that. The guy actually threw and dropped a fire baton/stick which caught a guy's hat and drink on fire...that only stopped him for about 5 minutes when the fire tricks continued!) Anyway, we were a little too old for the party that was happening at that bar, so we walked one block to the OTHER bar in Joseph and it was pretty much empty, ours for the taking. We were a group of 20+ (since the extended Shaw family alone was like 10 of them). We Kareokeed and danced and drank and had a really good time.

We decided to JUMP when this song came on and again, just so much fun. Sabine wouldn't Kareokee it in German like everyone wanted her to do... :)



Or in German:




Other memorable parts of the night.

OZ sarenading Sabine
Lawrence stealing mikes + cowboy hats
Carrie Phillips has still got it!
Halle getting Bean to do a shot "lemon drop"
Bean Bean imidating our tweaky bartender
Laughing heads off with MegMeg
Lawrence and OZ singing "their" song
Michael yelling DungeonMaster at Joe 10,000+x
Jer and Lawrence doing a horrific job of "Baby got Back"

You know, the fun and goodness of old friends + being there with Sabine + a super fun hubby who I love dearly, just brings a big huge smile to my face.

It's Independence Day

We had a great time in Joseph for the 4th of July. We celebrated Addie's birthday, went to the top of the mountain where we got married, went to the flea market, sang Karaoke and had many tasty beverages with our friends. Here are my patriotic little beauties! They had so much fun dressing in their red, white, and blue.

Sabine and the kids after the parade and two full bags of candy were thrown at Wallowa's annual "Old Time Parade"!

Sabine, Adde, Lucy, Bailee, Lily, Lawrence waiting for the parade to start

Bryson happily watching the parade

Bean-Bean and Bryson

Two of my great friends from high school, Jocelyn and Jeremy, + their families and mine. Gotta love my mom for always wanting to get the group shot!

This picture of the four girls made the front page of the local paper. Woo hoo!

My little dare devil and her tiny yet surprisingly muscular legs!

Bean Bean and the kids!

Sweet Lily

After the parade we went to our friend's house for a BBQ. It was so fun, this kids did sparklers and we really enjoyed it. We didn't get any photos of us at Wallowa Lake at Jocelyn's house watching the fireworks. BUT It was awesome. Addie didn't nap that day, so she was falling apart at 7pm. My mom offered to stay home with her and Bryson, so Lily, Sabine, Lawrence and I headed up to the lake to watch the fireworks and see our friends.

I don't have a photo from this year's fireworks, but here is a picture that my photographer friend Joe Whittle took last year.

The fireworks reflecting off the lake, creating a sillouhette of the mountans, listening to the boom echo through the valley is pretty incredible. Especially when you are surrounded by good friends, cuddled up under a blanket with your best guy and your first born (who falls asleep in your arms right before the finale!)

To see more of Joe's work check out one of his two blogs
Joe whittle photography
Winding light adventures

Go Germany!!!

Well, had Germany won today, this would have been a lot more fun to post, but even though they didn't my kiddos geared up with Sabine to support her team and home country!

You can just FEEL the love and excitement!

Love you Bean Bean!

Wordless Wednesday - Crazy Hair Day with Bean Bean!

Get used to it, buddy - you have two older sisters

Look how HAPPY!!!!
Nancy, this is totally what you had in mind with the beautiful bows you made for us, yes???

BONUS - Yummy Baby Feet!

Sabine let the girls fix her hair!

Beautiful Lily and Bean Bean love this picture, even with the crazy hair.

I love how obvious it is that they are all having a blast together getting crazy!

This might be the last time Sabine leaves pictures that Lily took on my camera! :)

Happy Birthday Sabine!!

Today is Sabine's Birthday. (That's our German AuPair, "Bean-Bean")

We had a party for her yesterday and she had a picnic out at Washington Park with her friends. While it threatened to rain, it didn't, (she says that the weather is always nice for her birthday in Germany, and we were happy that Portland didn't disappoint!) A wonderful day was had by all. The girls ended the evening by watching the sunset and sitting by the fireplace outside. Her friends made her such a special birthday video, and I was so touched at how awesome their gift was (so was she). We are so happy that Sabine is in our life, and all these girls are in her life!

Our girls made cupcakes with Bean - Bean.

Bryson celebrated by eating his first rice cereal, and loved it.

Fun Videos from yesterday:

Addie waited for about 30 minutes at the table drooling over the cupcakes she and Lily helped make.

We got 22 candles on her cupcake. Fire hazard? Yes. Make a WISH!



Sabine has added so much to our family over the last 9 months and we adore her. She honestly makes our family better and our house more fun! We are so happy to tell her that we love her and celebrate her special day here in the US!

We love you Bean-Bean!!!

Love,
All five of us!!

Wordless Wednesday - Stopping to smell the tulips

I saw this photo and said, wow we have a lot of kids!

Sabine

My girls

My boys

Choosing to love it

I survived my first day back in the office. I've been very focused the last few weeks on staying joyful and not getting down about the situation. Bryson is 14 weeks old today. I wish I could have stayed home longer with him, but since that wasn't possible I've just been focused on the awesome company I work for, on the great job that I have to go back to and for this wonderful life that I have. I get to come home each day to three healthy children and know that they are in good hands with Sabine, someone who loves them, and is a member of our family.

I left this morning feeling completely at peace. On the drive to work, I felt a little bit bad that I wasn't crying, as I was the prior two mornings I left my other babies and headed downtown to the office for the first time. It's all okay. In fact, it's all better than okay. Sometimes we just have to stop being bitter about all that we do not have, or all that is not the way we wished it was, and just love the things we do, and enjoy the way that it is. This is our one chance.

That's easy for me to say because I'm not facing anything that is horrible. I'm just going back to work, and for that I am grateful. And time at work flew, I barely had time to pee or eat lunch. My staff did a great job filling in during my absence and there is a lot to do for a quarterly closing. I pumped three times, and realized I do not like that experience as much now that I have an office with a window. It's on the 13th floor facing the river and Mt. Hood. But still. Window Washers?

When I came home today, I was holding Bryson, who was so happy to see me, and he laughed (FOR THE FIRST TIME) at Addie. It was THE sweetest sound I've ever heard. My cheeks felt like they were going to break because I was smiling so big. Lawrence got to hear it too and Lily and Addie were so happy about it. Addie definitely had the hardest time today, she is having the hardest time with life in general. Being two and a half and becoming the middle child all at the same time isn't easy on my little darling. She's doing okay, just seems really off and goes through every emotion in the book in a span of 2 minutes. Lawrence did SO much this weekend to help me get ready for the week ahead, he let me sleep in, he planned meals ahead, he grilled chicken for me to take for lunches, he carried my bags to the car. (Pack mule: I had a breast pump with bottles, coolie bag for milk with ice packs, groceries for lunches, workout clothes, and purse/wallet). We had a fabulous family weekend of hiking to the top of Multnomah Falls. We drank beers and watched Basketball. We played UpWords and taught Lily Blokus. We read books and worked out. It was just a great weekend.

And even though I had to go to work today, it's a pretty great life that we are living right now. And I came home to smiles, laughs, and jammies.

Hitting the slopes

LILY AND BEAN BEAN SKIING



I mentioned a few posts ago that last weekend Lawrence took Sabine and Lily skiing. Here are the videos and pics as promised!

Sabine is here!!

Our new Au Pair, Sabine, arrived from Germany on Friday. After months of choosing the perfect Au pair for us and then months more of staying in touch, getting to know each other, it is hard to believe that the day actually come. And can you believe that the NIGHT before I still had a million things on my to do list that were left to finish until the next day. Things like wash the bedding from my in laws visit, almost 2 weeks prior, putting shelf paper in her dresser, moving our skiing stuff out of her closet, printing some of her pictures to hang on her bulletin board, cleaning her bathroom. Things that could have been done for weeks. But actually, if you know me, you know that I always have a million things to do that don't get done until the last minute.

Well we got a bit of bad news on Friday morning (more on that later) and it threw my day off, exhausted me a little bit emotionally and long story short a week later she still is sharing her closet with my snowpants...but her bedding and bathroom are clean and she loves her room, so I'm not a total failure.

Sabine had a great week at Au Pair school and she had fun on her NYC tour, though it was too short. It was only 4 hrs and even 4 days isn't enough to see all you'd want to in New York. But she got a taste and knows that she wants to go back to see more now.

When she arrived here she was a little shaken from some serious turbulence. We were happy to see each other, and then both went straight to bed once we got home, we were beat.

On Saturday we did the FAAN walk (another post) and Sabine came, we weren't sure she'd want to with all the travel and jet lag, but she said she felt great and joined right in. She squeezed between the two girls in their car seats, since we hadn't moved seats around yet in the trailblazer. It ended up being a great opportunity for her to bond with the kids on the way to Vancouver.

They absolutely love her. I'm so glad we skyped all those times because they felt as though they knew her and were only shy for a few minutes. When they woke in the morning, they could not WAIT for her to get up.

We are having fun getting to know each other. She speaks wonderful English, but it takes some time for us to always understand each other. Mostly because we don't know how the other describes something like a garbage disposal or a cell phone charger. The words don't translate exactly. Then there is the fact that she has never heard of Budweiser! :) And in Germany women put Sprite in their beer. Ewe! :) Ruining perfectly good beer???

Anyway, we are all having fun with it. Lawrence and I have a very sarcastic sense of humor. That also doesn't translate. Like today when I told her to throw a fax machine out the window (she didn't). She did laugh hard when I told her to put it on Lawrence's pillow.

On Sunday we relaxed a lot and it was a good thing because Sabine seemed to be getting a bit of a cold and wasn't feeling great. Even though she didn't think the jet lag affected her, I think that it did affect her body by hitting her with a stuffy nose and sore throat. Josh, Shawna, & Rachel came over for a BBQ and to welcome her. On Monday, she also wasn't feeling good. It was our anniversary (another post) and she was scheduled for her first day, and a long day. She is such a trooper. She has great work ethic and really powered through, even showing unending patience for the kids, while both Lawrence and I were home training her. She also went to the park with the kids and Lawrence. He has been making her drive whenever they go anywhere and she is definitely a good driver. Then you read the post below about the Rose baby and how Monday finished up! :)

Last night we went to Jeremy and Jennifer's for a BBQ, she had a great time, and that is when all the Budweiser talk came up because she brought 2 beers for Lawrence, one from Germany one from Poland. Lawr split them both with Jer, his partner in beer tasting. Jeremy works for Budweiser and couldn't believe she didn't recognize the can. He was asking all these hard differences trying to figure out things in Germany that were not like the US and vice versa. She was a great sport and a great help with the girls, even though she was not "on duty". We are both figuring out how she fits into the family and how it works when she is on duty but we are home and how it works when she is with us but not on duty. So far, it is going better than I could have hoped.

Today Katy came over to drive them all to ballet, and apparently the girls gave her a little harder time with Katy there too. But Sabine and Katy had heard A LOT about each other and really were glad to get to meet. In the afternoon Sabine and the girls had a great time, including ice cream for snack because it was such a HOT day. Tonight Lawrence had a Hood to Coast meeting and Sabine and I got to chat over dinner after the kids were in bed. Then we got her set up to download pictures and set up Skype on the home computer with a new webcam with microphone. It was a busy night, but we had fun. Thanks to my brother Matt who spend about 45 minutes on the phone and skype with us to get it all figured out. He must think I am SUCH an idiot sometimes, but I think he likes how much I need his help for computer type stuff.

There are many things that Sabine does, little things, that show us we made a perfect decision of who to ask into our home for a year and care for our kids. She shows so much respect and consideration, she is caring with the kids, she can be firm with them when needed, and she is an extremely hard work. She also did a lot of homework reading the family manual I wrote from her and when she pulled out her copy I could tell she'd gone through it with a fine tooth comb. It's hard to describe how you will know if someone is going to be a good fit for your family. Because you don't. But there are so many little things that are NOT annoying and that are NOT invasive and that show what a quality person she is. YAY! So much of my anxiety about this has melted. We have also let her know that she is doing this a very hard way to start off, trying to establish control with both parents at home. I think the next 2 days she will be all on her own and it will be easier with the kids.

For now, there is a lot to do! She still is far from self sufficient as far as driving directions and getting to school, making friends, getting her Oregon drivers license and Social Security Card. But this is a list, one you mark of and go through. These just take time to accomplish and we can do it. While I feel that there is a lot for us to do, and I feel like I keep telling her, we will get to that later, I'm so glad that the important stuff, the stuff that is much much harder to take care of, is going really smooth and easy.

Tomorrow we are going to Music in the Park and Sabine might get to meet another Au Pair from Germany who has been here for two months and lives near the park we are going to. Then this weekend she gets to go to the Beach for her first Au Pair meeting. It will be a great chance for her to meet some other Au Pairs in Portland as well as see the Pacific Ocean!!

In this post, I've listed THREE other posts to come. How will I ever get caught up? Probably won't and you'll say, where is that post on her anniversary that she mentioned six months ago. Hey, my Au Pair needed to learn to work my washing machine so that she could help me with some of my burden...OKAY!!!???? I'm doing my best and for now, it seems good enough...