Welcome Blake William Powers

It's a boy!
Josh and Shawna and big sister Rachel, welcomed a new baby boy to their family.

I had the privilege of taking Rachel and Shawna's mom Becky to the hospital to meet their new little guy. Oh, I really could have wept (and to be honest I did, just a little) at the happiness and joy that filled the room as soon as we walked in. Wow. Watching Shawna experience loving her kidS! Watching Rachel love cautiously on her little brother. Awesome.
It just never gets less amazing. How small and new they are. How beautiful they look. How precious that newborn rooting is. Blake is so perfect and small and sweet. It was awesome to hold him and swaddle him and stare at him.

You know there is a reason that women come into your delivery room and share stories of their own births and their own babies. Because ALL it does is flood you with emotion watching this all happen for a family you care so much about. It is absolutely breathtaking. It's the reason it is so hard for women to decide they are done having babies. That newness and incredibleness (probably not a word but should be) of a baby just hours old is beyond words. BEYOND WORDS. My head was swirling with wonderful thoughts the whole drive home.For those of you who like stats, he was 7lbs 8oz and 20.5 inches, born via natural birth at 5:02pm. Shawna's water broke at 4:04am at home. She is feeling great and didn't need any pain meds. Blake was already latching and nursing great. Blake's middle name, William, is after Josh's dad, who passed away last December. He lived with Josh and Shawna for nearly five years and was a big part of their and Rachel's life. Below is a picture of Grandma Becky admiring her new Grandson. Grandma Linda is likely going crazy in Iowa right now, looking forward to her chance to love on this perfect little man!

Excited and Honored

Bzzzz.Bzzzz.Bzzzz.
4am
Huh?
Oh, it's my cell phone, and thank goodness I remembered to bring it in here.

I fumble to get the screen unlocked as I see it is Shawna's cell and I know that can only mean one thing. It's time to go. When Rachel was born, Shawna was TEN.DAYS.LATE! And today, she has ten days to go until her due date. I haven't talked to her or anything yet today, but based on my own experience, I'm guessing she's gonna say that having a baby ten days early, is so much better!

Back to the morning, with a sleepy brain, I hear Shawna say that her water just broke and the two of us try to figure out if it would be better for one of us to come over there to sleep or for one of us to come get Rachel and bring her back to our house. We decide that it would be better for Lawrence to run out, pick her up, and bring her back here to get ready for school in the morning. That way, Josh and Shawna can tell her what's going on and I can get everyone ready for school together in the morning here because it's also my morning to be classroom mom at Lily's school for a few hours.

Before we get off the phone, Shawna says in the sweetest, most excited, little girl voice, "Jenny, this means I'm gonna have a baby today. Oh my gosh. I'm going to have this baby today, right?" I laugh and promise her that she will. (Oh dear I hope she will). And make sure I tell her I love her a million times before I hang up and call one more time for one more question about after school coverage to which she answers the phone"What's Up?" like the most casual thing in the world, haha.

It was a good decision because Rachel got here and went right to sleep, after only moments. I lay awake reflecting at what a big girl she was and thinking about how a few years ago, if they'd spaced their children closer together, waking sensitive Rachel up at 4am and having her say goodbye to her parents and taking her to our house and trying to get her back to sleep could really have ended in disaster. I worried the whole time Lawrence was gone if I shouldn't have gone instead, a warmer voice, more comforting words, for the ride back over. But this Rachel is happy but still, wide-eyed, and so mature, she's watched after Shawna like a little guard dog her entire pregnancy, and she knew exactly how she needed to be, now that the big day had arrived. She was sweet and quiet and brave when she got here. She smiled, told me to turn the life off in the room where I'd made her a bed, said she didn't need anything, and went straight to sleep.

When she woke around 6:20 in the morning, she came downstairs and I asked her if she wanted to get Lily up. She did. Lily told me later Rachel woke her by saying "Lily" and she felt her hot breath. LOL. The girls were so happy yawning in their PJs together on a school day. Bryson started to grab Rachel's little stuffed Stitch Pumpkin doll and Lily said, "Rachel, do you mind if it gets some spit on it?" Rachel said, "No I don't mind, I'm going to have to get used to a lot more spit than that". They laughed over chosing what to eat for breakfast and how to have me fix their hair.

It was just so sweet. My girls acted like she was the queen of the world now that she was going to be a big sister today. Lily kept telling her things like, "Rachel, today you will get your first baby, ever". "Rachel, I'm so happy that you are going to be a big sister today". And Addie too, gave her knowing nods and smiles, "Yo baby wiw be he-ah toDAY, Waychel" . I loved that they made her feel so special today in a way that only two little best friends could. I loved that they really did know how special it was and it was such genuine happiness for her. And I loved how happy it made Rachel to get such sweet assurance and admiration from her friends. The whole morning was crazy and busy, and just so incredibly perfect.

It was made even more perfect in that I did not miss Rachel's bus. But I cut it dangerously close, so I wasn't sure for a minute. Shawna thought it would be better for her to ride the bus as usual. Again, I was worried about doing the wrong thing and messing up the day for her. Luckily, nothing could have ruined Rachel's mood today. She was totally cool, calm, and collected. A very mature big sis-to-be. I said, "Rachel, if we miss this bus [near your house], are you fine if I just drive you all the way to school and Lily and I walk you in?", she's like "Sure!". Then I asked her about her birthday party scheduled for tomorrow because she and Lily were discussing it (and about which Shawna was worried about on the phone this morning!), "Are you worried about what happening with your party tomorrow?" "No", she said, "I'll be fine if it's next weekend, I just care about my baby". Awww. She just looked so sweet and innocent and somber as she said it, making eye contact with me in the rear view mirror!

So we got to her stop, and we dropped her overnight bag at her house, and we watched her get on the bus, and we waved profusely. I thought about all the ways her little life will change forever. All the great, amazing ways. And she was just getting on her bus, sat next to two other girls and waving profusely back. She was all knowing about something special happening to her today. I sacraficed grabbing my camera for making it to the bus stop on time, but I did snap a few with my phone to send to her mom and dad.

Amazing that a little under six years ago, these two Kingergarteners met at a daycare center and introduced their sets of parents, who would become the best of friends, friends who could count on each other as family.

Waiting for the bus and waiting on the call from mommy and daddy to say that their little family of three was now their little family of four.

It occurred to me how special it feels to be part of someone's big day, even with the smallest of favors, it feels so good to be asked. It even feels good to be asked at four in the morning. And for the first time, in what feels like a long time, it was easy to say yes. My plate wasn't so full that I couldn't do it. It worked out great. It's an honor to be part of it. And new babies - the excitement, change, and anticipation that surrounds them, just does not get old no matter how many times you've experienced it for yourself or those that you care about. As I was typing one of Rachel's comments over text message to Josh, it occurred to me that it might be sort of special for me to write down the happenings of the morning, not only for those of you who know them, but also for them to read and for Rachel, Lily's first and best friend, to have something documented about the morning before she became a big sister.

I hope I will be back soon to post - a big sister to who?

Send out your good vibes, your prayers, your positive thoughts, or whatever it is you do - for Shawna's strength and endurance, to have the drug-free birth she wants, and for Josh to be an amazing support to her, as he was last time, and as he always is. Stay tuned!

Welcome Baby Claire

Congrats to the Bissell Family!

Little Claire Jean joined their family 2 days ahead of schedule, welcomed by parents, Nichole & Rob, and big (14.5 mth old!) brother, Cohen, late night on July 19. We love you guys and can't wait to meet sweet Claire and get all of the details of your delivery and birth!

April 7th - Remembering Maddie. And Waiting on Baby S...

Today is important for two reasons. Two very different reasons.

Today it has been one year since seventeen month old Madeline Spohrs passed from her mother's arm. One whole year. I'm am so sad for Mike and Heather. So sad and so grateful. Heather's blog has taken me on many highs and many lows, and I've appreciated my own children, the little moments, the hard moments so much more because of her words and her raw and honest grief. I've snuggled a little longer. I've loved a little sweeter. I've held on a little tighter. I wasn't going to read Heather's blog this morning before writing this, but I did. And now I'm sitting here in tears because of the sadness she's feeling, and the sadness I'd feel if my two girls were to never know each other. And for the joy that I feel for my healthy children and my happy life. Through Heather's blog, I found Sally, and eventually Margaret...someone who has also become very dear to me. I loved Heather's post today because she knows that Maddie has touched millions of people in her short life time. Maddie has changed lives that she never knew. I hope we can all say that about our lives when they are over.

The second reason today is special is for a happier occasion. It marks the due date for another dear friend, Lynnette. Lynnette and her husband, G, have been praying for a second child since before we started thinking about having Addie. Almost four years now. Their wish to give K a little brother or sister has taken them on a long and winding journey, and they've trusted God and His plan for their family. Lynnette's faith and desire to follow that plan has been a true encouragement to all of us who know her. She is a beautiful wife, mother, friend, and sister. And today, after 4 long years of praying for this child, wanting him/her so much, but deciding to be happy with whatever God chose for them, her son or daughter is due to be born. I'm lucky and blessed to have worked with Lynnette for that past 8 years, we've shared in so many joys of motherhood, working, pumping, venting, laughing, crying together. In some ways she has been my sanity, especially in the early years of new motherhood. She has been a great inspiration to me in many ways to be more selfless, to let go of things that I cannot control, and to ignore things that do not matter. The baby that Lynnette will deliver within the next week (we hope!) is so lucky to be loved and raised by this mother and this father. So much love awaits.

Please join me in praying for a healthy and safe delivery for Lynnette and baby S and a smooth transition as their family of 3 becomes a family of 4. Lynnette and G take on a lot of responsibility caring for other members of the family, and I pray that time, health, and space will allow that they can nurture their own new little family as K becomes a big sis; while they continue to meet the needs of other loved ones.

Please pray for peace for the Spohrs family, as they reflect on this day, let their hearts be filled with the happy memories of Maddie's goodness and sweetness, and let their minds forget the horror etched from the hospital bed a year ago when she took her last breath. Let them feel Maddie's presence, and may they dream of her tonight.

Let us all reflect on the year that has passed. Look forward to the warmer springtime that gives new life and a fresh perspective to all our trials. May we be strong, wise, and positive in our daily roles. I hope you can be joyful in your day and may you find peace in your sorrows. There is so much goodness for us all, don't move so fast that you aren't able to see it. I encourage you as I remind myself.

2 years ago tonight, I wrote...

7/1/2007 - (5 days after Addie's due date)

I guess we aren't having a June baby. Today is Addie's last chance to come on her own, otherwise we're giving her some help tomorrow starting at 6am!

I didn't sleep much at all last night, maybe from 2-5am, then Lawrence and my mom tried to let me sleep this morning, but I couldn't. So I finally got up. Last night I was having a lot of pain and movement, but no contractions, this morning I woke up with contractions that are pretty strong. So this is my bodies last try to get Addie out all on it's own.

Today my mom is leaving and we are going on a picnic at a new park with Lily, something special for the three of us, enjoying our last day of this family of three. That's another thing I have been so emotional about, in gaining everything that comes with adding Addie to our family, we are also losing something that has been very dear to us for the last three years. Again, it's not a bad loss, it's a happy loss. But it's still okay to mourn it a little. Especially for a hormonal, sleep deprived, crazy pregnant lady with a misbehaving terrible two running amok!

Of course we didn't finish everything we wanted to yesterday, so there are a bunch of minor errands to do today, and lists to make to do in the next few weeks so things like bills and license plates and credit card adjustments don't slip through the cracks. If anything does, it won't be the end of the world, but it made me uneasy and unsleepy last night thinking of it all, so at least if I have it written down somewhere to come back to when I can, it will help me relax I think.

I will write more later, but for now, if I'm not sleeping, I want to go down to have bfast with my family, and spend a little more time with my mom.

We will take Lily to Josh and Shawna's around 5, BBQ there, and then leave early enough to wrap things up and home and get to bed early. We have to be at the hospital at 5am, leaving here around 4:40am, so I need to make sure and get some rest. I'm mad at my brain for not letting my body take advantage of my last morning to sleep in for months. I'm not surprised tho, that's just the way it is. I'll get a good nap today though. More later...

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8:57pm

Thank you all for your warm wishes and prayers. I can't tell you how much it means to us. Everything is done and ready to go. I'm getting ready for bed and hoping to get a good night of sleep. Lily was so excited to spend the night at Rachel's she didn't care when we left. I cried like a baby as I said good bye to my only child. She just looked at me with her big beautiful brown eyes and made me weep. I love her so deeply I can't imagine being a whole person if she wasn't born into my life. I am so blessed. While praying for/with me tonight, my friend Jeanine thanked God that He trusts us with the gifts that children are. I wept thinking of how truly thankful I am. Thank you God for trusting me to be a mother, it is an honor, and I can't believe I am about to be able to do it again. When you look at this miracle in that light, nothing else matters, no fears, no disappointments, no selfish worries. I get to be a mom again tomorrow and I can't wait.

Again, my heart is overflowing with love for all of the amazing people in my life. Thank you. Please continue to keep my family in your prayers tomorrow, and be thankful for your own family.

I'd also like to thank my mom, who had to leave today, without meeting Addie. Thank you, mom, for putting up with my moodiness, and for doing so much around our house to help out, inside and out, while also giving us our space, and for making Lily's week so enjoyable. She had a blast with you. We love you so much!

We love you all!

Jenny, Lawrence, Lily, & Addie