Lost tooth furniture

Lily lost her second tooth today.


It was the top right if you are looking at her.  It was hanging there by a thread for a while.  Finally today, I pulled it.  It wasn't too hard.  But once it was out, you could see the one spot in the tooth where the root was a little longer, thus the "thread" it was hanging on by.


I'll admit that I'm going to miss this smile - from two short months ago when no teeth were loose.

photo by www.christinagilchrist.com

Those perfect little chicklets, all evenly spaced.


People, we have entered...dun dun dun...the awkward stage.


No, we haven't entered it yet, but we sure as heck on on the front entrance to the hallway that leads to awkward land.  I'm not happy about it.


She happens to be thrilled. She was the last person to lose a tooth in her class.  And she is nearly the oldest kid in her class (she informed me that she has the first bday, but she is not THE oldest, because one boy has his bday in August, so I stand corrected if I've ever told you that she was OLDEST, it is not true).


She lost her first tooth on Jan 3, and then her second today, Jan 15.  I pulled both of them, but barely. I just did the final tug so she didn't lose one during school lunch and come home devastated.


She got $3 from the tooth fairy last time, and the tooth fairy even left her tooth for her to keep/show her grandparents (and take for show n tell).  She left a note tonight thanking the tooth fairy for the three bucks and asking her to leave this tooth too.


Addie's take on things: It bleeds because, well, God makes blood because he makes it and it is down here in the gums and it is like blood when the tooth comes out and that is how the tooth stays in.


Genius.


Lily: What will happen if we leave the blood in there (some inside the tooth).
Me: Well it will just stay in there and dry out, and it turns kind of a dark red/blackish color.
Lily: My WHOLE TOOTH!!!???
Me: No, just where there is blood.
Lily: Oh, well, then, I guess the tooth fairy won't mind that.
Me: No, I'm sure she has seen a lot grosser things
Lily: Yeah, like yellow teeth, and cavities, and fillings and stuff.
Me: Yep, she won't mind a drop of blood
Lily: Well, some people probably scrub it and stuff, should I scrub it?  I could scrub it.  
Me: Naw, she really won't mind (imagining her dropping it down the drain and seeing my future evening of digging in a disgusting drain pipe).  Lily, this isn't even gross to her at all.
Lily: Yeah, and she probably just has like some people who clean their teeth, and those are the ones that she uses for furniture and stuff like that.
Me: ?????  Yeah, probably.


Furniture and stuff?  I mean, what goes on in kids' minds often boggles mine.  Kids that are mine, and that I think I know all of their nuances.  This bright young girl has somehow come to the conclusion that people scrub their teeth so the tooth fairy can make FURNITURE out of it.  Sigh. Giggle.  


Well, it inspired me to write a little blog to remember, and now I have first tooth last documented as well.  So that's a good thing.  Here are pictures of that first tooth.  The one that went tonight was a top middle, and she does look adorable.  That is until BIGGIE BIG comes through.  You can see toppie is loose in this picture.  

You are going to think I'm a terrible person, but I didn't get a chance to take a picture the one from today (I know, right?!).  But these are the picture from when she lost the first one.


Can you feel the awkward coming on???  :)


*********************
Updated to add:

Now she has lost tooth number 3 on Jan 20th, no picture of that yet.  She is proud that that one is the first tooth that came out all on it's own, no "help" from mom.  The tooth fairy knew we were in Mt Hood and came there! 

3 teeth in one month.  Whew. 

15 months

My baby boy Bryson is 15 months old today.  Oh, my, how there are barely words to describe him. 

His newest love is Mickey Mouse, he says "Mick Mow" and it is probably the cutest thing my ears have ever heard.  I handed him a plate shaped like Mickey last night for dinner and he held it and stared at it with a beaming smile.  We also went through a hand me down bag of clothes from a friend and found Mickey Mouse pj shirt.  Wow.  He couldn't have been more excited and has worn it for the last two nights.  He got mad when I put his sleep sack on because he couldn't see his Mick Mow anymore. 

Other loves, Elmo ("Emmo") & Donald Duck ("Duck Duck") & Thomas ("Mum-as"). 

He loves running up the stairs, slamming doors and gates, EATING, bonking his forehead on things, giving hugs, getting the broom out of the pantry and finding my full cups of coffee on the counters edge with the handle, reading books, eating books, his monk-monk, pushing buttons on toys that make noise, over and over, music, dancing, hugging soft things (so hard in fact sometimes he needs to lay his body on the couch, chair or floor to hug it enough), going outside, dada, ada, mama, lila, & DUlia (not in that order), pulling hair, brushing his teeth.  He talks all the time, and points.  I remember thinking that boys talk later than girls, but that is not the case.  He can say a lot of words, and imitates many of the things that we say, but it's a family joke that his favorites (BY FAR) are "uh-oh", "mo" (more), "Buh-Bye", "wa-wa", "monk-monk" and "Dulia!".  Actually every word he says has an exclamation point behind it.  He knows what he wants and isn't afraid to go after it with all the weight of his body.  He turns into a loose noodle to fall through your arms and through a tantrum on the floor (usually pretty short lived if you just walk away).  But man, sometimes you shut the bathroom door or take away his tooth brush and he'll cry like he just lost his best friend.  His big sad eyes and open mouth cry, always make me smile and scoop him up for a cuddle hug. 

Jeez, it's been so long since I blogged, I could write a full and funny blog on each of those loves alone. 

He is just now getting his 5th tooth, on the top, just to the left (as you look at him) of his too middles.  He gnaws on everything like a beaver, so many of our perfectly kept board books from Lily and Addie have the bindings chewed to shreds by this book loving fool. 

Favorite Foods: Bananas ("nana"),  ground turkey meatballs, chicken chili, carrots, peas, raisins, blueberries, toast, cheerios, Hot Dogs ("ought dog!"), water ("wawa" - I think he thinks all drinks are wawa),  graham crackers.  Who am I kidding trying to make a list of favorites?  This kid will eat almost anything you put in front of him.  He seems a little oatmeal and yogurt-ed out, but I think that's just because he prefers to feed himself - and he ate A LOT of both of those in the months before and after his first bday.  He likes to try and use a spoon and fork, but gets frustrated when he can't get the food into his mouth.  Putting him in a high chair means the rest of the family goes into high gear getting things done, like emptying the dishwasher and opening the pantry, things that he does not allow for when on the loose. 

I DO mean, on the loose, he is a maniac.  Into everything, climbs everything, destroys everything.  He's a lot like Lily was, so I guess I'm still not buying the boy vs girl thing, but I know that lots of people told us that baby Lily was a lot more boy than girl in her tendencies.  The only difference was there was only one of her to contain.  So for Bryson, we try very hard not to tell the girls the reason they can't play the games or beads or blocks or anything they want during his waking hours is because of their trouble making little brother.  But, they sort of know.  When we are doing a puzzle or playing a game, Addie will let out a sigh of dispair when he wakes up, knowing it is the end of her fun. 

Little People is a family favorite because we can all play with them, make a city, ride buses, helicopters, car washes, but the girls still get mad because they like to set up their scenes just so and get their guys in line for a bus, but Bryson has other ideas for their people.  We do our best to divide and conquer and rope off areas of the house for them to have some space from the littlest member of the house. 

All in all, Lily still REALLY loves Bryson, Addie's still kind of on the fence about him.  It's more of a love hate, she is still really rough with him and usually does pretty mean things to him.  To be the adult in the house with just the two of them, is the hardest dynamic.  All three is better than just the two.  Addie just cannot stay off of him, and if you distract one of them they both want in on it.  If you hold one of them the other comes and headbutts or pulls the other's hair.  It's awesome.  When they do get along (like they did in the bath last night.  It is GREAT.  I hope it's a sign of things to come.  At this age, Lily loved Addie more than anything on this planet, so it's tough that 15 months later, Addie could still do without her brother.  We keeps warning her that she better be nicer.  He is only one pound less than her, and once he is a little more steady on his feet, he will CRUSH her! And we might let him:)

He's taking 2 naps a day some days, 1 nap other days.  He drinks one bottle of whole milk before bed, warmed, even though he doesn't need it.  I stopped nursing him at the end of January and I still like that before bed cuddle that he comes with a warm bottle of milk.  He talks himself to bed, mostly pretty easily after that, with a sleep sack and a cuddle with his "monk-monk". 


As for me, things haven't been easy, I just can't seem to get a grip on all the overwhelming responsibilities I have, all that I want to be and do, and do so in a good mental space.  But I'm working hard on many fronts to be happy and present with my little guy.  With all my little guys.  These kissable cheeks sure makes it darn hard to stay down.  His many faces, his many moods, his funny quirks.  His infectious energy, and wonderful hugs (turned headbutts)....I could not love him more. 

Muah.  I love you buddy!

I can't believe he is 15 months old.  Be still, my heart. 

One

Photos by Christina Gilchrist - www.christinagilchrist.com

He's one. My youngest child is already a year old. How can it be? Insert all cliches about where the time is going, my baby is growing up, etc.

I adore this little man. How is it possible that you can have enough love in your heart for each of your children? I don't know. And to love each one more than the next? It's something I think about daily, because sometimes I honestly can't fathom how there is enough love to go around, but there just IS. And it's amazing.

I was standing in my living room this morning with my early waker on his big day, and looking at the Christmas decor and Hanukkah banner and Birthday cards cluttering up the mantle. And I just soaked in all that we have to celebrate this month. Who cares about the stress and the busyiness and the gift buying. We have SO much to celebrate! And so it will be for us every December and we should be nothing but filled with gratefulness.

Since I have been such a slacker about Bryson and his accomplishements over the past two months, I'll give a run down on all his newest tricks. He is full on walking now. He started taking steps around 10.5 months and by 11 months was stepping consistently. He's always barreling forward so he was falling a lot because he didn't take the time to get his feet under him. But now, he has his balance and he walks everywhere. Still full steam ahead. I call it the monster walk because he puts his hands above his head and is usually babbling or shreiking and waddling like a little monster! It is so precious. I know the days will be here soon enough when he had steadier footing, so I'm soaking in this wobble monster.

He has four teeth. Two tops, two botttoms.

We MADE IT!! As I nursed him this morning I thought, OH. MY. GOSH. I made it to a year. Now, disclaimer that we've been supplementing with formula since 2 months old and in the last month I've stopped pumping at work and only nurse when he wakes up and goes to bed. Add the recent cold he's had where he can't breath and such at the same time so he has to stop every 2 seconds to breath, and I'm pretty shocked that we got here. About 3 weeks ago I told Lawrence I thought I was done. He said, for the record, he would still "call it" a year. He knows me too well. I was happy with that, and have been actually really at peace with being done or not. I mean, given that at 5 weeks old this time I thought I couldn't do it any more when he had colic and RSV. Then at 6 weeks when I gave up dairy until 6 months (how in the heck did I do that! seems like another life time, honestly!) I just never, ever imagined I'd make it to a year this time, and even though I supplemented him with formula more than my other babies, this is my hardest accomplishment. So I'll be proud of that. I don't know why one year is so important to me. I know lots of moms who go longer or less or not at all, and I have NO judgment about them, but when it comes to myself, I think it gives me a sense of being my best for him, or being tied to him, needed by him. I'm not sure, but it was important to me, and I didn't think I would make it, and I did. So woo-hoo!

I'll report back later today with his stats from the dr:

October was by far Bryson's worst sleeping month since newborn. I don't know what was up but HE WAS. Then November has been like one night a week he wakes up for no reason. He is always up for 2-3 hrs. It's kind of brutal after 8 months of sleeping through without exception. But I won't complain. He still takes two naps, usually a long morning and a shorter afternoon. We enjoy it, but since he and Addie are on opposite nap schedules, we DEFINITELY look forward to one nap by both of them at the same time and the oppotunity to leave the house occassionally without worrying about somebody being cranky for missing a nap! Although I will admit, I love to volunteer to stay home while Bryson sleeps, and the rest of the family goes out to do something fun. These are my occassional peaceful moments.

The big question everyone asks: So is it a lot different having a boy than a girl? Those of you out there with 3 boys are just drooling with delight to hear stories of destruction and broken limbs. Waiting for us "all girlers" to cross over into boy land. Well I hate to disappoint, but so far, not much different. He doesn't even pee in my face. Maybe because he is so fat he has a hidden penis. Sorry buddy, (he asked me not to blog about that). He is a lot more adventurous but actually less so than Lily was at this age (she, I was told behaved more like a boy in her early years, as a no fear climber).

One of my friends writes a great blog thread called "my girls never did that". She has 3 girls and a boy as her youngest. And she photographs and notices the cutest thing her now 5 year old does, so different than her daughters. I love the idea, and most definitely can't wait to start notices the differences. I think most of the differences are because he's the 3rd, and not because he's a boy.

His big fat padded feet are so kissable. I still dread that one day these will become man feet. And that day is closer now that he is walking. IF I could stuff his feet in, he would be in a size 5 or 6 shoes, but so far he hasn't worn anything but Robeez, size 18-24 mth. This is also his size of clothing. I have a feeling shod-ding him is going to be an issue.

We had a birthday party for Bryson on Saturday, we just invited 2 families and Lawrence's parents were here. It was a house full, but just perfect. My friend (and photographer) Christina came over to capture the day, and it was AWESOME for me not to even pick up the camera. She sent me the sneak peak pictures above. (www.ChristinaGilchrist.com).

I made Bryson a giant cupcake, idea from my friend, Nancy, and it was perfect. I'm glad I have the mold, though I have a few ideas of what I would do better next time. Nancy said that would happen! :) Bryson loved playing in the frosting and eating the yellow cake. Since Addie had a milk allergy, and I didn't know about cake mixes with no milk, she didn't get the first birthday cake smashing. SO I THOROUGHLY ENJOYED THIS ONE. I just love it. I know it's a mess and it's hard to clean up, but seriously, I love it, something about a first birthday cake being devoured and making the ultimate mess just makes me happy. :)

The girls love their little brother. Lily is so good with him, she could be a little mommy. It reminds me of a certain someone I know and her sweet baby brother, Matt. Just wait Bryson, when you are getting ready to go to college and you have 3 mommies telling you what to do, and watching out for what is "best" for you, you are iiiinnnnn trouble! :) Anyway he and Lily have a special bond, and anytime I feel guilty about things Lily could be missing out on because she HAS TO STAY AT HOME ALL DAY FOR HER SIBLINGS TO NAP, um, I just have to look at all she has gained by getting to be his big sister, and any guilt or doubt about what is best for her just melts away. Addie still commits random acts of violence against Bryson but he is starting to hold his own. She is genuinely a lot more loving to him and even this morning said, "Happy Burstday, Bwyson, you are one today" when she saw him. Then she kissed his back. The three of them have moments of all playing well together and it is just awesome. Bryson looks for them, adores them, cries when it is time to say good bye before they go to school.

Bryson and our AuPair, Julia have a very special relationship as well. She is so at ease with him and he took to her right away. It has been nice for me, at this age when separation anxiety is sometimes at the max, for me to have someone else that he feels so comfortable with. I realize that isn't something I had with the girls and it has been a source of comfort for both me and for Bryson. He definitely loves her, and when she comes downstairs in the morning, he says good morning to her with the sweetest hug.

At one year Bryson has more words than either sister did at a year (hows THAT, for a BOY!?). He says, "nigh-nigh" (my favorite!), "ba" (ball), "ba" (bottle), "bu-bu" (bye-bye), "ma-ma", "da-da", "ad-da" (all done), "Mo" (more), "ha" (hi-said into his hand or any other object as a phone). We do more and all done in sign language, but he would prefer loud screaming and yanking off his bib to get his point across. So far he doesn't have much use for the sign language. :)

He knows where his belly is, he does "so big" and "touch-down" with his hands when you say it. He points at any and everything he can. He says "da" as to show you where and what he means. He claps when you start singing "If your happy and you know it", or if you say "Yay!" to anything. He LOVES to clap. He knows how to hug and kiss. He likes to pull hair and glasses. A LOT. His go to cute move is to put his head down on someone or something, your shoulder, the floor, a pillow, a stuffed animal. It ALWAYS gets the same genuine response from everyone in the room. "Aaahhhhhhhh".

Bryson has made our family complete. He has set us all in a tailspin of unbalance and craziness. The little guys outnumber the big guys. We've had to put our priorities in order in more ways than I can describe here. We changed our entire thinking about how "things are supposed to be" in order to make way and room for this son in our family. I am forever grateful for all those changes. I believe in God's grace more than I can ever describe because I go to bed each night with it cloaked over me. I thought I had a few things figured out before Bryson came along. In fact, before each of my children came along. And I was reminded of who isn't in charge. That would be me. Thank you, Bryson, for showing me that my ability to give love is multiplying, that I can do anything I set my mind to, in the name of love, and for making me giggle with delight each and every day.

My friend, Sarah, the infant chiropractor and LLL Leader in Florida who helped me get to where I needed to be to "fix" Bryson's colic (thus giving me the second half of my maternity leave back for which I will be forever grateful!), sent me this quote the day after he was born. I forgot about it and found it yesterday while looking for something. It's so very true. Bryson's laugh and smile touches me deep inside and I do feel grand because of him.

‎~If one feels the need of something grand, something infinite, something that makes one feel aware of God, one need not go far to find it. I think that I see something deeper, more infinite, more eternal than the ocean in the expression of the eyes of a little baby when it wakes in the morning and coos or laughs because it sees the sun shining on its cradle. ~ Vincent van Gogh

Quick update for the baby book

Yeah, this blog is used to record some of the little things that I'll eventually transfer into the baby book. Said baby book for Bryson hasn't even been cracked.

Yesterday...

Bryson ate little chunks of bananas for the first time rolled in baby oatmeal (to make them easier to pick up). Besides this those little puffs are the only finger foods he's eaten. He liked them better than the puffs, and I kept scooping them out of his bib pocket and putting them back on the tray, he was like, "Yes, wa-la, new meal" every time.

Bryson sat in the bath with no bathtub or ring for his bath for the first time. We'd purchased a bath ring with suction cups on the bottom, used it twice, but the suction wasn't sticking well and it felt like a hazard, and he tries to roll off of his other baby bath seat which lays him back quite a bit. So I decided nothing would be better. Now he's a heavy little guy, and naked, soapy, and slimy, he wasn't any lighter. But he did pretty well and even enjoyed some tummy time in the bath while I scrubbed his tush.

Last night was the first night of no dream feed for Bryson. For the past 5-6 months we have woken him between 10-11pm and fed him a "dream feed", he sucks it down, and goes back to sleep until 6am. So last night we tried it with no dream feed and he woke at about 5:45am. Pretty good. That dream feed has been his only formula feeding of the day with the exception of one or two bottles a week, so we'll see if it means that he'll be all breast milk for some days. My milk supply is definitely down, but we're still hanging on. I might cut one pumping out a day to get more done at work, and then still keep one formula bottle a day in his diet, since he is doing great with that. Will try yogurt with him next to see if the milk sensitivity is totally gone or not. He's tolerating it in my milk, just fine. Addie would love it if he were allergic, she wants to have a "special no milk buddy" and she really enjoyed it when I couldn't have milk with her and we both used her special butter and crackers.

He's "crawling" everywhere, more of an army crawl, but he can definitely go any and everywhere he wants. Over the weekend we rearranged the play room, once again cutting it in half with a fun baby gate that keeps little toys, games, on one side and baby friendly stuff on the other. We also moved some furniture around in the family room to open up the space and block cords that he couldn't stay away from. His legs are SO strong that he is up on his knees and toes nonstop. Sometimes even doing a donkey kick in the air while his arms stay planted on his hands. However when he gets down on his elbows, they know what to do. He is sometimes arming crawling in the front and bear crawling in the back, pretty darn cute and funny.

His cold is still hanging on and I think he's had a runny nose for a month now. It's gross and annoying, but doesn't seem to bother him much.

He also wants to give up that 3rd short nap of the day, cries a lot to go down for it, but can't make it from 2pm to bedtime, and even a few nights last week when I pushed through it with him, he thought bedtime was that nap and only slept for 30 min before waking to play for another few hours. It was fine, and he is pleasant to be up with later, but just not sure what to do on a day to day basis, and it's hard for daddy to make dinner on the days I'm working and not home til 6pm, when he doesn't do that nap, but acts like he needs it.

Oh - and I've done 2 days of shredding again after a month or so of hiatus. Today I will go do some sort of 25 min Cardio on the machines at the downstairs gym for my "lunch" hour. I'm sore, and that's kind of nice after a month of lethargy. Day 1 sucked, but Day 2 felt better.

So that's that for baby book updating. Consider yourself recorded, milestones.

Happy Birthday Sabine!!

Today is Sabine's Birthday. (That's our German AuPair, "Bean-Bean")

We had a party for her yesterday and she had a picnic out at Washington Park with her friends. While it threatened to rain, it didn't, (she says that the weather is always nice for her birthday in Germany, and we were happy that Portland didn't disappoint!) A wonderful day was had by all. The girls ended the evening by watching the sunset and sitting by the fireplace outside. Her friends made her such a special birthday video, and I was so touched at how awesome their gift was (so was she). We are so happy that Sabine is in our life, and all these girls are in her life!

Our girls made cupcakes with Bean - Bean.

Bryson celebrated by eating his first rice cereal, and loved it.

Fun Videos from yesterday:

Addie waited for about 30 minutes at the table drooling over the cupcakes she and Lily helped make.

We got 22 candles on her cupcake. Fire hazard? Yes. Make a WISH!



Sabine has added so much to our family over the last 9 months and we adore her. She honestly makes our family better and our house more fun! We are so happy to tell her that we love her and celebrate her special day here in the US!

We love you Bean-Bean!!!

Love,
All five of us!!

Moving through sizes and time

The new smile
There is no such thing
As a perfect picture
Of all three kids

Last night as Lawrence and I mused about our weekend, and how we barely saw each other, and didn't rest for a second it seemed, we also reflected that it had been a good one. We did some serious tag team parenting and while we both felt a little tired, we didn't feel overly worn to the ground exhausted. He said, "Don't worry hon, we'll have time for each other when we are 60, we'll fall in love all over again". Sweet. Then I said, "Is that why we both have to keep working out so hard, so that we can be attracted to each other and have the energy to do all the active things we love doing" [insert: and aren't possible with 3 kids, 5 and under]. It made me think about how important being active and staying in shape is. This isn't just to give ourselves energy right now, but to stay healthy for 5-10-20 years from now when we do have the freedoms to do some of the things we love and have given up to raise our babies, we have the energy and capable bodies then. And we know, taking of the weight and beating the lethargy isn't going to get any easier years down the road, when we do have more time...and less muscle mass slash slower metabolisms.

The 30 day shred is going good. I'm on day 8. Lawrence is on day 8 of running and doing 50 pushups. Man that guys chest muscles pop back into gear with only a week of no effort. I know Lily got his genes and I hope the other two follow suit. I'm always impressed by how fast he gets back into great physical shape in such a short period of time. He took Saturday running off, and that was partially my fault. I sent him to a 5 year old bday party with the girls so I could get my work out in and get Bryson his nap.

There is the song, "Remember When...", by a country singer (just looked it up for the link, Alan Jackson). Anyway, one time, my friend Jeanine told me that her husband, Otto, told her they were half way through that song. Since we keep having babies, we've stayed halfway through that song for several years.

Right now we are:
Remember when the sound of little feet
was the music
We danced to week to week
Brought back the love, we found trust
Vowed we'd never give it up
Remember when
Remember when thirty seemed so old

Ever since Jeanine told me about Otto saying it to me, it pops into my head as I hear the sound of little feet. They are the music of our lives right now. And they will be for a while. I can't even imagine a day when they won't be, but I can imagine myself longing for that sound again. Even as I tell Lily, 'Walk quieter, don't stomp so hard". I know I'll miss the sound of that stomping someday when she starts tiptoeing to sneak in or out! :) I'll wish for the days when I knew every thought and worry in her little head. I'll miss the days that big tantrums got of all the bad stuff out. When falling to the floor in a weeping heap was all you had to do to rid your little body of disappointment. When hugs from mommy or a tic tac could take it all away.

As we discuss and contemplate whether Bryson will be our last baby or not, this hits me harder.
He's almost out of 0-3 mth clothes, a little over 13 lbs, and in size 2 diapers. And as I pack up the things that don't fit any more, I'm not sure whether I will use it again, and it's weird. As I put away maternity clothes that are too big, and squeeze back into my size 14 jeans (and I do mean squeeze), I wonder what will become of my beloved sweatsuits and soft bellied jeans. As I loan out clothes, both baby and maternity, making it fully clear that I don't know what I'm doing so I want every peice back, my heart jumps inside thinking that I might not really need anything back, anything at all. Oh, the closet space I will have. And the storage bins!

I really haven't had to buy one thing for little Addie, I saved each and every little thing from Lily, and as for Bryson, between generous gifting and lots of hand me downs from friends, he won't need much new either. So that leaves only Lily to shop for and she is growing like a week. I couldn't carry her to the potty the other night when Lawrence was out. (sometimes we do that before we go to bed on nights that we forgot to have her go before bedtime to ensure no extra middle of the night wake ups). She's not too big for me to carry when she jumps up and holds on tight, but dead weight, no chance I could do it. My baby is almost too big for my arms. So far only physically but only a matter of years before emotionally she will be too. Especially if I don't remember to nurture that relationship.

Honestly the relationship with her is the hardest to nurture when I'm short on time and energy, because she is so grown up and self sufficient. It's easy to lose my cool with her, because she knows better. It's easy to keep her as a right hand man, taking care of the little two, because she loves it and she is good at it. To some extent, all of this stuff comes with being the oldest child. But I also want to be mindful each day of her childness. She is just a little girl who would love nothing more than to play and snuggle day in and day out with her mama. And it's not going to last. So I'm trying to recommit and appreciate each moment, each and every one, with all three of them, so I don't look back, remembering when, with any regrets, or with any more sadness other than just missing it, missing them at these sizes.

FOR sure, I won't be missing me at this size. I'll have NO problem discarding the size 14 jeans when I'm back in a size 8. (AND I WILL GET THERE!) But I already miss the feeling of a baby kicking in my belly and I miss the knowing/gentle looks from strangers that something really special is about to happen to you. And this is only 8 weeks later. Bryson is 8 weeks today. So in two years, when we'd normally be ready to start trying to have another baby, I can't imagine what it will be like and how much I will miss it.

My friend, Kirstin (my water fitness partner), wrote an beautiful blog about how one thing has to come to an end before something else can become. In her case, her family of three comes to an end to make way for a family of four. I can really relate to that. If we "decide" (I use that term lightly as I realize it is never really up to us and it is by the grace of God we are given the gift of children in any situation) to stop having babies, there is another wonderful life outside of infancy of things to experience with our children and as a family, so if more babies comes to an end, I have no doubt that it will be replaced by equally as wonderful things, watching all our children grow.

My friend Kim, lost her daughter on Friday. I've mentioned Kim before, she is a friend of a friend, and Julia was diagnosed with many health complications at her 20 week ultrasound. Their family had 8 months on earth with Julia, and they did not take one day for granted as they knew her days were numbered and that it was entirely out of their control. I only got to meet beautiful little Julia once when she was a few months old, back in July, but I kept up on Kim's CaringBridge site and was encouraged by Kim's peace and faith and living joy in the moment with her little Julia and Julia's two big brothers. Please keep them in your prayers, especially the brothers (ages 2 & 4), as they all try to comprehend this loss that they knew was probable from day one and find peace and comfort in the 8 months they had with their little angel. I'm so thankful that Kim shared Julia's story with the world because her attitude was so inspiring to me. And she also reminded me each time she referred to Julia as perfect, that each child is perfect, just as they are, just as God made them.

It's been a few days since I blogged, and it is because I'm trying to make more time for non computer related things, I'm doing my 30 shred, and keeping up with a message board with my 4 friends virtually doing it with me. I know this is a bit of a hodge podge of topics, but as the kids grow, and I shrink (hopefully) and am surrounded by good friends and support, both in real life and on the computer, I keep being conked over the head with the blessings in my life. I'm trying hard to live in today, be present in the moment, work hard for the future, knowing that things don't come easy, but they will come and they are worth working for.

And for today, that is more than enough.

Making my day

The whole Herman family had a wonderful day today.

Lawrence took Lily skiing and she did AWESOME. She made a new friend, Aurora and they skied together the whole day.

Addie and Bryson and I went to church, and somehow I managed. Addie went to her class and they told me she was a perfect doll. She brought her own snack, and thinks having allergies makes her cool. Then we had a good day at home, I got them both to nap at the same time, right after I got Bryson to smile at me, on demand. Meaning he smiled when I came to him and he did it several times. Enough times for me to get a camera. And then I even got a picture, with the delay and everything!

I was all ready to post the pictures of skiing, but the camera has been temporarily misplaced in all the chaos of the evening. **Updated to read: FOUND IT!!!

Kids are in bed. Tomorrow begins day one of 30 day shred with 4 super cool and super supportive ladies. I watched it today for a preview of what I was getting into. I'll admit, it doesn't look too bad while I'm laying down watching it!

Yay for a good day! Friday night Bryson slept for 6 hrs, last night I thought he would repeat but instead he slept 7-11 and I woke him and did a dream feed at 11 before I went to bed (same as the night before) and he woke up every 2 hrs all night. So, we aren't there yet, but he's been going down for every nap and bed time awake, putting himself to sleep with no crying. It requires really watching his tired cues, but it's worth it. He isn't even fussy anymore. Seriously we have a whole new baby than we did 2 weeks ago.

More good days to come...

Addie 22 months

Addie turned 22 months on 5/2/09. I started this post as a list that I planned to fill in the gaps in an essay format, but that just won't happen so I'm going to post the list before she is 23 months or 2! These are a few pics of her on her 22 mth bday and I'll be posting more Tulip fest photos of the family later.

Loves her Rain boots and stomping in puddles.

Would not look up and smile to save her life, but loved smelling the flowers.
Monkeying. She loves monkeys, being a monkey, eating bananas like a monkey, wearing monkey pjs, seeing a monkey at the zoo. Monkey - Mania!

At 22 months some of the new things Addie is doing:

She is a lot more independent and wants to do EVERYTHING herself. She says "I do" about everything. Even when I rock her in the chair for bedtime, she sometimes arches her back and says "I do do" meaning she wants to sit in the chair alone and rock herself! I won't lie and say that occassionally that doesn't hurt my feelings. It's funny, because we've always called bedtime "do do" since Lily was old enough to say, "Mommy do do" meaning Mommy put me to sleep. Now Addie is saying it too.

She says I love you. Sometimes she just says "too" meaning, I love you, too. There might not be a sweeter thing in the world. She also gives spontaneous hugs and kisses, though rarely on demand. She is starting to hug Lily more, Lily LOVES that.

She gets her own shoes on. Always on the wrong feet, but when you say that they are on the wrong feet she says "Oh" and sits down to switch it. She recently got her first pair of Crocs. Crocs rule. She wears them with the strap on and also clog style. Sometimes when I tell her to get her shoes on she says "feet feet" that means she wants to go out in bare feet. Since it has been rainy and 60s here the last 10 days, I haven't been going along with feet feet very often.

Gets herself dressed. Can do pants totally by herself and screams most of the time while you get her shirt on, she wants to do it herself. She can get feety pjs on by herself and also zipped and unzipped. Dressing time is often a struggle as she has an opion about what she wants to wear and she wants to do it all her self. She prefers jeans over stretchy comfy pants.

Her bedtime routine is to get on her sleep sack, white noise machine on (a lot quieter now) drink a sippy of rice milk while we rock in the rocking chair, and sing rock a bye baby. She also likes you are my sunshine and she calls that song "Happy". She likes me to sick "Rock a bye Kitty" too for the neighbor kitty that we say good night to every night out her window even though we rarely see it. She usually sleeps with 2 bear bears a pillow and a Princess fleecey blanket that Lily passed down to her so "she could have a bigger blankie".

Addie often says "happy" when she feels happy or after doing something fun. Hearing her say "Happy" is another very heartwarming thing about her. It's the equivalent of saying "Thanks mom, you are fun, and I feel happy about my life". AND I LOVE IT!

Shoe size: 4 (but some brands are starting to be too small, 5s are too big still)

She runs everywhere - never walks. Though she is just starting to learn to stop when you say stop or wait. She even says it herself when we get to the edge of the porch and we are locking the door. "Waaaaaaaiiiiiiit".

She loves to get pretend coffee "Cocky" for you and says "mo? mo?" to see if you need more. Then she makes you say "pweese" if you forget.

She has the best manners. She always says "pweeese mama" and "Chan Chu" She thinks the mama is part of the thank you and says that to daddy too. At the church nursery the woman told me Addie was the most polite 1-2 year old she had ever met.

We have been going to church about 2 Sundays per month. It is good for Addie to have an hour with kids her own age. She is a little nervous and scowls when I drop her off, but she doesn't cry and is usually playing and having fun when I pick her up.

When she screams for something and you remind her that isn't how we ask, she promptly says "pweese mama", she understands the concept to ask differently. She does not, however, understand the concept that sometimes you don't get something even though you said "pweeese mama".

"Lello" is her favorite color. And is the answer to "Addie what color is this?" no matter what the color it is "lello".

She loves to talk on the phone and "press the red button" and hang up on you! She says "Hi" and starts a full conversation! If you've talked to her, you've probably been hung up on, so you know.

She loves to say "Hi" and "Yeah" A LOT!

She really misses Lily "Lil lil" when she is gone (at school or still sleeping or most recently at a sleep over). She doesn't like to get something her sister doesn't get. She will usually share her snack or mint or fruit snack or vitamin, or whatever with Lily. If you give her two and say, give one to your sister, she always will and will never

She LOVES vitamins. She takes on Melaleuca multivitamin, one floride tablet, and one gummy calcium supplement. She remembers if she's had it already that day, and if you say that she has and she hasn't she throws a fit. She is usually right.

She remembers things. Things people say to her, things she did yesterday, where she put things.

Her hair is getting longer and she constantly asks to get her hair done with Lily, and then promptly rips it back out. She won't leave a "preppry" or a "Had Ban" (pretty or head band) in more than a few minutes.

Her favorite characters or Elmo, Clifford (ForFor), Dora (DoeDoe), and Little Einsteins (EinEin). She watches Elmo on TV, but the rest are all through books. She says "Pweese mama weed" and hands me a book. Again, melted heart.

There are so so so many more things I could list about her. I can't believe only 2 more months until she turns two. This year has flown. She is a constant source of joy for every member of our family and anyone who meets her.