38 Reasons to Give Thanks (and why I love my beautiful daughter Jenny at age 38)

by Elane Dickenson, my mom 

(All of these are so sweet, but I bolded a few of my favorites, the ones that touched or made me laugh)

1. I love that Jenny has always included me as part of her life, even when we are many miles apart.

2. I love Jenny because she loves and appreciates me, with all my many flaws, and lets me know it.

3. I love Jenny because she is a wonderful, caring mother.

4. I love Jenny because she married Lawrence Herman on a mountaintop in 2002 and continues to make her marriage to him the priority in her busy life.

5. I love Jenny because she made me a grandmother, enriching my life beyond imagination

6. I love Jenny because she has always had her own mind, which gives her a unique and wonderful perspective and insight.

7. I love Jenny because she has a warm and giving heart.

8. I love Jenny because she has a sense of humor, that lets her see the funny side of life (eventually).

9. I love Jenny because she is able to communicate the ups and downs of her life, the love and the frustrations, the humor and failures, in writing. Her talent for turning life into a story is exceptional.

10. I love that as nice a person she has grown into, Jenny has never completely lost the “edge” she’s had since she was a little girl.

11. I love Jenny because she still likes coming “home” to Joseph, and loves that her husband and kids love her hometown.

12. I love that Jenny loves her “little” brother Matt, and has developed a special relationship with him as a grownup (even though she always wanted a sister).

13. I love Jenny because she enjoys, and is very competitive at board games (except for Scrabble).

14. I love that Jenny’s heart extends beyond her own family, and her compassion for those less fortunate resulted in financially “adopting” a little girl exactly Lily’s age on the other side of the world.

15. I love how Jenny is always striving to become a better person. When she falls short of her high standards, she picks herself up and strives again.

16. I love that Jenny, who independently on her own initiative used to ride the church bus to Enterprise when she was little, is a strong Christian whose faith both supports her and makes her a better person.

17. I love that Jenny has also embraced Lawrence’s Jewish faith, and incorporates it, as well as Christianity,  into their children’s lives.

18. I love that Jenny has a clear and wonderful memory of her childhood, with all its ups and downs.

19. I love how important it is for Jenny to create – and save -- wonderful memories  for her growing kids. Whether it be skiing and snowshoeing outings, fun or benefit runs, trips to Arizona or New Jersey or Joseph, soccer and karate or campouts with friends and families, the Herman kids are stockpiling a wealth of family memories.  

20. I love that spirited little Jenny, though teased and bullied, never gave in or let the “mean” kids win.

21. I love that the friends of her childhood and high school years are still some of her best friends.

22. I love Jenny’s intelligence and talent with numbers. Starting about age 6, she was the one in the family that had everyone’s phone numbers memorized.

23. I love how Jenny loves and celebrates  the individuality and special quality of each of her three children. On their birthdays and other occasions she’s written about each of them with such love, tenderness  and insight in her blog.

24. I love Jenny’s blog, “Herman, Party of Five,” where she shares  her talent for  writing, as well as  insight, humor, and most of all her life with friends, family and many who have come to appreciate her.

25. I love that Jenny uses Facebook to reach, and interact, with many family and friends. I love her photos and snippets of her life that might otherwise pass unshared in the blur of daily existence.

26. I love that Jenny buys and sells on craigslist, both for extra money, to cut down on clutter, and to save on things she needs. She found me the 1997 RAV4 I’ve been driving for four years on craigslist.

27. I love how capable and organized (mostly) Jenny is in her daily life, fighting the genetics and example passed on by her mother.

28. I love and am proud of Jenny, the working woman, who has excelled in a demanding job with Schrödinger for the last dozen plus years, being promoted several times in a company that values her.

29. I love that Jenny has double downed on my attempting to make birthdays   very special days when she was little by celebrating her kids’ “birthday week.” A traditional themed party is only part of the birthday child’s fun in the Herman family. I love that she also started making my birthdays special with cakes and even a watermelon basket as a kid, and with flowers and special gifts (such as a tent) as an adult.

30. I love that Jenny has also made Christmas a celebration full of fun and traditions for her kids, complete with Santa’s cookies and milk, and – as of last year – the Christmas elf. She also encourages Jewish traditions, such as the lighting of the menorah at Hanukkah.

31. I love that I never found out that little Jenny knew what all her Christmas presents were before Christmas. (Though if I did, I might have hidden them better!)

32. I love that Jenny is somehow able to find the time to maintain and nurture many friendships that are important to her.

33. I love that Jenny stays on the right side of the law and is not an alcoholic or drug user.

34. I love that Jenny (and Lawrence) enjoy an active lifestyle, teaching their kids to ski, run, swim and hike. I love that they all take part in 5K runs and am so proud of Jenny finishing the Hood to Coast relay this year.

35. I love that Jenny’s connection to family extends to her aunts, uncles, cousins, and even my cousins, at the Blanchet Ranch gathering on Memorial Day every year and Red Bridge campout most years. I love that it’s important to her that her kids connect and grow up with her cousins’ kids and the family roots at the Coombs Canyon ranch.

36. I love that though my little Jenny with her big glasses and in-your-face attitude grew up into a beautiful woman (inside and out), she’s never  gauged her own worth in her physical beauty.

37. I love that I was able to enjoy and be proud of Jenny performing  in many plays at Missoula Children’s Theatre, community theater and Joseph High School as she was growing up. She still loves theater as an adult and is passing it forward with MCT for her kids.

38. I love Jenny for anchoring my life and bringing joy to my life from the moment she was born 38 years ago in Emporia Kansas. No matter how old she is, she’ll always be my little Jenny Bug.

My coffee broke up with me but I pressed on and we are back together again!

Based on the way my coffee treated me, I should have ended it, I should have been prepared for last week to suck a little, but I didn't see it coming.  My oldest baby was going to be 10, which means I was celebrating a decade of me being a mom.  This was the week of me and Lily.  This was also the week that Lily and Bryson were star of the week.  I needed coffee for last week.  

Monday morning started off like anything other.  A hundred things on my plate and trying to fumble through making coffee while finding sides for lunch.  How do I go to the store and purchase stuff for lunches every weekend but there is never anything other than saltines and dried cranberries for lunches?   I hated myself for not doing these two chores the night before.  I hate myself every single morning for this reason, but not quite enough to muster up the energy to do it each night.  That morning, I didn't end up pushing start on the coffee until the girls were out the door for the bus with Lawrence.  It's French Vanilla flavored coffee in the Dunkin Donuts bag, and I'm surprised that Lawrence bought it, he hates the smell of coffee (one of my excuses for not making it at night), and this brand is the strongest smelling.  After about 5 minutes I hear a singeing noise and see that there is no pot under the coffee filter.  It has a plug feature for that, but the filter has filled full and is brimming over the top in every direction.  I mopped up a bit of coffee, sighing with relief that the house is off the market and perfection wasn't in the cards.  I should have just quit there, spent $2.50 on the way to work and called it a day.  

Nope.  

I get the pot under in time, and salvaged the rest of coffee.  I poured my cup tippy top full and added some milk.  No sticky creamer thank goodness.  I finished getting Bryson ready, turned on Curious George to keep him still, and headed upstairs to get myself ready.  

I had already showered but that was about it. I washed my hands and reach back to dry them, when my left hand swiped the tippy top cup of too hot coffee and over it spilled.  It went everywhere.  E.V.E.R.Y.W.H.E.R.E.  In every drawer and every cupboard and up under everything, in the jewelry holder, soaked every piece of laundry on the ground and every floor mat, around every piece of jewelry, in every toothbrush holder, and in every make up bag.  Everywhere.  I can't emphasize the everywhereness of it enough.  This one cup of coffee seemingly multiplied into gallon after gallon, soaking everything in it's wake.  

An hour later my hair and makeup were left undone, most of the visible coffee was wiped up (I would find more for days), I had a load of coffee laundry going, and out the door my star and I went, late for school.  

French vanilla...the smell never goes away.  A week and a half later, I sit at my desk at work, and I can still smell coffee, every where I go, every minute of the day.  Maybe because it's on my toothbrush, hairbrush, and part of my eyeliner.  

My cleaning lady came on Tuesday of this week, I was so happy the smell would finally be gone, but alas…it's still going strong every time I plug in the flat iron.  

Tuesday, Lily turned 10, and the day was awesome.  We ice skated, I decorated her door all cool, Matt and Heather came over, her presents were appreciated and grown up.  It was a very good day.  More on that another time, but suffice to say, I thought my coffee woes were done.  

Friday we had a slumber party for seven little girls.  After sweating to death throwing together an around the house scavenger hunt, (E-GADS!) I made a cup of coffee to get ready for the night ahead.  Seven little girls are a LOT louder and more excited than five little girls a year younger were last year.  What a difference 2 people and 1 year made! I poured in the water planning to share with any moms dropping off girls who might want some.  Unfortunately there was only a little bit of coffee left in the Dunkin Donuts bag, not nearly enough for the amount of water I'd poured in.  It didn't stop me (or Shawna), we drank our coffee flavored water like it would fuel us for days.  

But. Oh. My. Gosh. you guys! 

The girls were up until 2am.  I got up at 6:30am with Bryson and around 7:30 it occurred to me, THERE WAS NO COFFEE FOR TODAY.  Lawrence and Addie left shortly after for her soccer game and I was not wise enough to realize that I should have run out quick to get coffee before they went.  And by not wise, I mean, I was running non-stop from the second I got up to get uniforms laid out and the coach's shirt clean and figure out if we were the home or away team and water bottles filled up and after game snacks ready, and hair in a pony…WHEN I SHOULD HAVE BEEN OUT BUYING COFFEE.  

One of the things I really am starting to like in this mothering for a decade is that I don't have to pretend I have my shit together.  I mean I couldn't even pretend that if I wanted to, so it's more than convenient that I don't have to.  

So I sent out an SOS.  To the moms of the daughters I "let" stay up until the wee hours.  

I need coffee.  I had a ten year old slumber party with NO COFFEE for the morning for myself and I am DYING OF TIRED over here.  

I looked at my coffee water left from the night before.  I reheated some.  It was so watery and sad.  I knew it wouldn't do any good, but I was desperate.  The SOS moms said they could bring some, but pick up wasn't until 10am, a whooping hour and a half away.  I poured some milk into my coffee water and put it in the microwave.  I took a big gulp and then looked into my cup.  

A small dark object with wings floated into view.  

A fruit fly.

In my coffee water.  

After 4 hours of sleep.  

And I actually contemplated picking it out and going forward. 

Instead, I dumped my coffee.  The betrayal.  After all we went through, it was over.

But you know what?  Those SOS moms, they were fierce with love for me.  They showed up early.  With coffee. Three of them.  And I drank all three cups! 

I was full as they reminded me of my community, that even in silly post slumber party coffee pity, all I have to do is reach out, admit I need something because I was thinking only of scavenger hunts and hard forgotten about my deep need for coffee.  I have a community of people who think I'm wonderful, despite my lack.  Who appreciate the night off I just gave them.  Who will show up early because they understand that this is a mama emergency.  With each sip of my delivered coffee, I thanked God for those ladies.  

Coffee and I made up, we are having a better week this week, and I see only good things in our future. I also smell them.  All. The. Time.  

 Thanks friends! 

It's been crazy...

I think about this blog 2-3 times a week.  I haven't blogged since school started and it's Christmas break, and just because I don't write them down…I still think them up.  Then they are gone and it makes me sad that I don't find/make/have the time.  

I hear myself say to my friends, to the ones who work, to the ones who don't, heck, I even say it to myself.  "This has been a crazy week!"  This week school started.  This week soccer started.  This week Bryson started preschool.  This week is my first week without a nanny in 6 years.  This week we have the warrior dash.  This week I'm getting ready to go on vacation.  This week I'm recovering from vacation.  This week is quarterly close.  This week is Lily's slumber party.  This week I'm volunteering at school.  This week I'm recovering from being gone volunteering at school.  This week I'm in charge of mapping our old 401(k) plan to our new 401(k) plan, balance by balance, fund by fund, ticker symbol by ticker symbol.  This week I have school conferences. This week is Halloween.  This week I go to Seattle for Women of Faith.  This week is my birthday.  This week the sister of my best childhood fried died.  This week the kids have 3 days off school.  This week is family pictures rescheduled  and I need to pick out outfits, and convince my family that we are taking family pictures and they better enjoy it, or at least look like they are enjoying it.  This week I have auditors.  This week I was so very thankful for this life.  This week I need to find a costume for TV Bunco.  This week we get to watch the Griz / Cat game.  This week is Thanksgiving.  This week my co-worker and one of my staff are out.  This week is my week to volunteer at school.  This week I was sick all week.  This week I was sick again.  This week Lily had a science fair.  This week my baby boy turns 4.  

Those have been my weeks for the past 3+ months.  

It's been crazy.  

Every single week, every single day, life is crazy.  And I hate hearing myself even say that.  I think I might have been saying it for the past, oh, 5 years, maybe longer.  

I am forever living in a state of apology and I hate it.  I'm also living and looking for an escape.  Like if I could just get through this one hard time life would be easy again.  Life would be balanced and I would be able to catch all the balls in the air.  

ha.  HA!

I've been putting a pen to paper and recording the things I am thankful for.  What started with picking up a book that was recommended to me and with 30 days of Facebook thanks, it's changing for my heart.  

Be where you are.  That was the motto for this year, and I have not been very successful.  I can't shut down the endless ways that the crazy in my life.  

And this has been a relatively uneventful year.  

I'm sorry, and I'm grateful, and I'm tired, and I stay up too late, and I go on FaceBook to often, and I'm constantly striving, and I beat myself up far too often, and I'm a grumpy distracted mom, and I'm thankful, and I'm so very love, and I talk to God and He reminds me that I am covered under Grace, that nothing I could do could make him love me any more or less than He already does.  And all is well again in the world.  

And then the next hour starts.  

And it's crazy again.  

And I remind myself that life is full.  

Abundantly full.  

Now I hit post rather than go back and edit myself.  Raw, true, honest.  Recorded.  

Three

The morning of Bryson's third birthday, I got in the shower and thought about the Blog I would write for my little man.  I remember how I wanted to describe him, paint a picture, of a crazy monster with the sweetest heart you'd ever known.  A kid that has turned my world upside down and back again, but who can make the very best of all my days.  He made sure I didn't get too high on my parenting horse with his entrance into the world with colic, then his instant heft that would give my back a run for it's money, then his walking at 10 months, then his getting-in-to-everything-and-running-to-the-most-dangerous-corner-of-the-----everywhere.  With his brilliant big smile he warmed my heart and let me know that I had much less control than I thought I did.  Also, more love than I thought.  Again.  

On the day of his Third Birthday, I took the day off work.  That morning, I got the girls on the school on the bus.  The day was in front of us and I couldn't wait to be with my boy the whole day, just the two of us.  It was the first day we'd ever done something fun, just the two of us.  I felt a little guilty about that, but we were going to change that today.  

The day was December 14.  

I got a text message from my friend Carrie while at the new Portland Aquarium.  Bryson and I were trying on shark costumes.  She told me of a shooting in Connecticut at an elementary school.  My heart skipped a beat and after a little back and forth, I learned K-4, 26 dead, I quickly put my phone back in my back pocket.  I took it out twice to take a picture, but I didn't want to know more.  I wanted to enjoy this time with my baby.  Each time he came in for a hug, I held him a little closer.  And each time he ran away, I felt my heart panic, I needed to be near him.  Part of me wanted to race to school to pick up the girls, but I was an hour away, and I knew Addie was already home with our nanny, and Lily only had 2 hrs left of school.  

Bryson and I went to Red Robin, played with play doh and ate lunch.  He picked out balloons, and made a big mess of his noodles, and I let him.  I didn't tell him one time to eat more, or cleaner, like I wanted to, I just drank him up.  Focusing on him, as I fought the urge to find out more.  They sang to Bryson and he loved every minute of this alone time.  

After lunch was over, I needed to get home and be with the girls.  I needed to be physically in our house with my kids.  I saw a message from our Kindergarten teacher that said some of the kids were Kindergarteners.  I didn't want to imagine and I didn't want to think about how or what to say to my kids about this, I hoped I wouldn't say anything.  I got home to excited girls who were ready, happy, waiting for the birthday boy.  They had no idea.  Of course they didn't.  Thank God they didn't.  They were absolutely full of joy and innocence that it hurt to look at them, but I was thankful.  

It was Friday.  TGIF.  A long awaited day for me.  For all the moms of the world. Pizza / movie night, the easiest night of the week in the Herman house.  We get into PJs before 5pm and we eat pizza in front of a movie until bedtime.  We cuddle on the couch and everyone likes pizza so much, we never have to coax a few more bites.  At bedtime, everyone is tired, relaxed, and ready to sleep.  Bedtime is easy.  All weekday long, we long for Friday night when we can collapse in the easy and comfortable and loving.  

My brother and Heather came over for cupcakes before their movie, and our nanny stayed a little late so we ate cake before dinner, and opened presents before getting into PJs.  It was lovely.  

Lily uncharacteristically complained a lot at Bryson's choice of movie, and as I explained to her that it was his birthday, his choice, and she didn't have to watch with us, but I hoped she would because it was her brother's special day.  I was annoyed with her and also filled with love and gratitude at the same time.  Thankful that this was my problem.  What if this wasn't the explanation I had to deliver on this night?  What if this wasn't the thing she felt the saddest about?  Having to watch Mickey Mouse Clubhouse instead of Annie.  What if I had to explain that her sister was gone, or that her friends were gone, or to try to make sense of a violation that could never be restored in all of her years.  What if?  

My heart aches when I think about the rawness that I felt that day, the day my little boy turned three.  The day I had so, so much to celebrate.  The day a community lost everything, if not their children, their innocence, their support network, their school.  I have never been so full of fear lurking in the world.  Waiting for me to send my children off to them.  

That weekend I had more patience than maybe I ever had in eight years of parenting.  I drank them up, I memorized their movements, their laughs, their tears.  I knew that whatever emotion I was feeling toward them as they pestered one another, or woke me up at night, I was lucky to be experiencing it.  I felt blessed and guilty.  Guilty for being blessed.  Guilting for it taking another's tragedy to wake me into perspective.  But that's what it takes sometimes.  

I was forever changed by the horror that happened to an elementary school 3,000 miles away.  I knew I would never forget the pain that I felt in my heart.  I hoped that was the worst thing I would ever experience in my lifetime, and I was sad because I knew it almost certainly would not be.  

And here we are.  Two months later.  Most of us have all but forgotten.  We think about it, we shutter, and we go on.  We make sure that we look at our kids in the eyes and tell them we love them before they get on the bus.  Say we are sorry before they run off for a day out of our control.  But we aren't gripped by the urgency anymore.  Maybe that's because emotionally it is too exhausting to live in that kind of fear.  We can't protect them from everything.  My friend, Melanie, touched me on that first painful Monday, when I had to send them back to school and I didn't want to.  She reminded me that my teachers love those kids as much as I do, and they will do anything and everything I would do to keep them safe.  I thought of my teachers, my friends, and...oh, that is so true.  It gave me comfort and courage to walk through that week. 

And in the weeks since I've prayed and I've thought endlessly about those families, those mamas.  I've read so many good blogs, like - I know what 6 looks like & I am Adam Lanza's mother.  I've read articles that have helped me to understand why this tragedy touched me so deeply, and how we are all victims here.  But I'm scared.  Scared of how easily my heart goes from broken to numb. I hope I can find a way to let this break my heart again and again, not because I want to feel the pain, but because with the pain came such clarity about what matters and what it really means to live in the moment and celebrate my present.   I want it to allow me to feel the compassion and gratitude in that big messy lump in my throat in those weeks after Bryson's 3rd birthday.  And if I'm totally honest, I want to love my kids as much as I did that weekend.  I want to love them so much that I never look away when they are talking.  I want to love them so much that I never grumble at giving another good night hug.  I want to love them so much that the mere sound of their voice gives me delight, every time.  And I will and I can.  As long as I can remember.  I can remember.  I want to remember.  

I'm posting below the things I wrote on Facebook last December.  I remember choosing each word carefully and from my heart.  Reading them again as I prepared to write this blog reminded me that they are important because they are mine.  

Every year, I will celebrate even harder that I have another year with my baby boy, and I will ache for the families out there who are hurting as they think about what should have been.

Blessed are those who mourn, for they will be comforted. Matthew 5:4

Dec 14 - Bryson's third birthday - I was expecting this day to be filled with joy and tears but...I had no idea. It was hard to soak in our day and feel joyful knowing many were hurting in ways that I pray I never have to know. I celebrated my birthday boy, memorized his smile, his energy, and loved all my kids so much it ached to look at them and ached to look away from them. I tried to keep my trembling and worried mind at bay by staying in the present, enjoying the moments I have right in front of me. My heart and prayers are with those that lost everything today, and I am reminded how precious each and every life is. I'm so full of love and pain, and I imagine I'm not alone.

Dec 15 - My rockstar kindergartener on the last night of Hanukkah. I delighted in her every move today, every smile, and even in the mean stuff she did to her brother. I gladly gave in to "one more hug" three times during bedtime stalling. I simply can't imagine a world without her infectious laugh in it. I feel a little guilty but mostly so grateful for every single thing that could have gone unnoticed today but was not.

Dec 17 - Hurting like it's the first time I've ever left them. :(

Dec 18 - Jeanine and Carrie, I'm so, so thankful for you both. Laugh with me, cry with me, get angry with me, and love with me. I so needed what you two amazing ladies gave me today. Then I got in the car with Mr. Herman and the rest of my family in our pajamas with blankets on our laps and we looked at Christmas lights and ate junk and drank/spilled hot chocolate and sang songs and laughed, windows down, heater up. That was the other thing I really needed today. Still hearthurting and still grateful.

Jan 7 - Back to work. Back to school. It was still dark out at 8:30am. I miss my babies. I feel uneasy again. Dreary day in the PNW. Whoa. Is. Me.

Have courage for the great sorrows of life and patience for the small ones.  When you have finished your daily task, go to sleep in peace.  God is awake.  ~Victor Hugo~

Wordless Wednesday - exactly 3 years ago today

It was almost time and I couldn't wait to meet him.

Wordless Wednesday - Happy 8th Birthday to my future Acrobat!

Five has arrived

Dear Addie, 


Today you are five.  You are my most lovable, and my most trouble starting sweet little girl.  I want to write all about you.  And I will.  But, baby, it's late, and we had a very fun day together.  And mama needs her sleep.  

Today was all about your requests.  


We went for a mama-Addie breakfast date.  You got a chocolate donut.  

Then we played your new "Teddy Bear Picnic" Game.  You know what words rhyme and what words don't.  We played two rounds at the coffee shop.  You are a very competitive game player.  Also a sore loser.  Also a bit of a cheater because you want to win so badly.   We'll work on that, honey. 


Then we went to daddy's office and out to lunch with him, just the three of us.  We wanted to go see your "buds".  You were very excited.  You really liked pushing the elevator buttons in his office, and were very determined to open the heavy doors on your own.  You don't know the difference between push and pull.    

You got an ice cream sunday after eating your lunch.  You were "all sugared up" when we got back to Daddy's office.  You were running around crazy.  Very out of character, since you are pretty shy around people you don't know.  You wanted everyone to know it was your birthday, but you were too embarrassed when people spoke to you.  Man, your daddy loves you.  I never thought you had a chance of wrapping him around your finger like your sister did, but honey, you have him more wrapped than any of us.  He sure does love you.  The two of you have your own special bond going and it's pretty awesome for you both.  


In the afternoon we went to a park at your request, and met some friends for a Picnic dinner.  It was really fun.  You got cards from your friends, some new hot wheels, a hot wheels case, and a scooter from your Grandparents.  

THEN you and Lily got to go with Daddy to buy fireworks, while mommy bathed Bryson and put him to bed.  You still think Red, White, and Blue represent your "July" colors for your birthday, and you think fireworks are all part of your special time of year.  


After you and Lily were all ready for bed you started playing with your Hot Wheels and case in your bedroom.  You guys played nicely for almost 1.5 hrs.  Mommy and Daddy did laundry and packed for our next trip coming up soon.  We knew it was time to get you to bed, but you girls are so good together when you are good together.  


Daddy and I love you Addie.  It's after midnight and your birthday is officially over.  I always say that Lily made me a mommy and you made me a better mommy.  It's so true.  I'll never forget the first time I looked at you and found out my heart was immediately capable of double the love.  I had no idea.  You've taught me so much, and I could not love you more.  Four years old was a big year for you, and I know that Six will be here before I know it...that's just how time works.

I promise to treasure every moment with you.  People tell me all the time that we look alike.  Oh, Addie, there could be no bigger compliment.  You are beautiful and charming and sweet and cuddly.  Your many faces and smiles, they all capture my heart.  I'm so thankful that you are my little girl, and I am your mommy.  


Happy fifth birthday, my love.  


Mama

Just like Pintrest

If you ever pin anything on Pintrest, you know that most of the stuff is like, oh cool, maybe I could do that myself, but the reality is, you will never ever get to it.  So it's more like a wish list of the things in your life you wish you had time for.  

I'm not a great cook, or a great baker, I don't have the patience for extremely crafty things as I'm not very artsy.  I don't have much of an eye for beautiful things.  And that is why, when I actually do something I've pinned, I'm super excited about it.  

Without further ado, my big successful pintrest followthrough!

Here was the original pin: 

This is what Addie chose as her cake for her teddy bear picnic birthday party!  Cute right? Looks easy enough, a plain cake covered in chocolate rice crispies, with a few cupcakes as appendages right?  Um.  Sort of.  

First I started with a plate I bought for a steal at Fred Meyer's 2 months ago, back when I was going to be super prepared for this party, nothing last minute and frazzley like usual.  Perfect for this cake.  Um, except a little smaller than I'd imagined it in my head. But I could make it work.  I think.  

Frosting it was actually pretty easy.  I felt like Martha Steward after this step.  No problem, it was 10pm, I'd be cleaned up and in bed by 11. Ready to take on 8 five year olds plus my own kids the next day!

This next picture does not do justice for how hard getting the rice crispies on to the frosted cake was.  Ack.  And they are slippery little suckers, I mean my kitchen was covered in stray choco crispies. Getting them on the sides of the cake and the sides of the ears and nose, but not the top, and just the right amount so they were actually stuck, not just piled on top of other stuck crispies...much trickier than I imagined.  

 Once I added the eyes I started to feel better about myself.  But frosting the tops of the ears and nose without getting crispies on there was no easy task.  It was like midnight at this point.  I was texting with a friend, taking pictures with my phone.  At one point I dropped my phone in the frosting.  I was a sticky mess, so was my you-can-barely-see-it-awesome plate.  I'm glad I thought to document my step by step though, even with bad lighting and a cell phone camera.  But at least here, I knew I was going to pull it off.  I didn't have black licorice for the mouth so I was a little nervous about what to use...

Then I discovered the M&Ms.  Yes, that will work.

I was so thoroughly impressed with myself.  Look at my masterpiece.  At 1am.  

The next day Lawrence and Addie marveled over the amazing cake I had made.  Lily said it looked just like the picture.  Both girls were disappointed they didn't get to help more.  I have got to learn how to bake with them underfoot.  Right after I learn how to do it with them not underfoot.  

I even made the litter bears below too.  Those were easy compared to my cake.

I'm kind of a frosting nit-wit.  So impressed with myself I am!

The teddy bear picnic was a big success.  Since her real birthday is on July 2, she thinks that red, white, and blue + the American Flag is all a symbol of her upcoming birthday!  I will post pictures of the actual party at a not committed to, later day.  I managed not to eat even one piece of chocolate while making all of this.  Not even a broken M&M!

Thanks pintrest for helping me pull something off that I surely would not have done on my own!