Addie is osum!

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You know, I knew it had been a while since I'd blogged.  And darn it, I think about blogging so often that i't hard to believe that almost a month and a half have passed.  Anyway, I'm here now, might as well make the most of it.

Our kindergarten teacher is THE.BEST.  I mean I know there are parents of kindergarten students everywhere you think that, it goes without saying that really FABULOUS people get hired to teach this grade, to do this job.  But ours, is, without a doubt, THE.BEST.

She sent me this text today: And her writing is "osum" too

Weekend News~

In case you can't see the picture, it says: 

I went snow showeng.  Lily ned a caof.  There was a step hel.  I wrk hrod.  I was osum.  

In case you need interpretation: I went snowshoeing.  Lily knitted a scarf.  There was a steep hill.  I worked hard.  I was awesome.  

She's telling the truth about all of it.  

Lily got the grand idea back in October to knit each of us a scarf for this event, so we could all be matching.  She made that happen too.  She got her Grandma to help and her cousin Jayme too.  She even taught me to knit and I produced one of these!  We looked great and she was SO SO proud of the scarves we each wore.  Bryson didn't want to wear a pink scarf but I put it on him backwards while we were strapping on his snowshoes and he didn't even notice.  

Steep hill ahead

We did our Romp to Stomp Out Breast Cancer snowshoe event on Mt Hood this weekend.  All the kids snowshoed.  Lawr pulled a sled with Bryson in for part of it.  It was hard.  It was partially steep. And our kids powered through.  We did too.  This wasn't the hardest year we've done this, but it was difficult to get everyone up and around the course, staying warm and happy, all at the same time.  We have grand schemes and we get tired and frustrated but we have a lot of fun.  Then we get back in the car and we say, wow, we just did that.

With 3 little kids.  Little.  Kids.

Finish line, that's Lawr with the sled and Lily and Bryson.  Addie finished first in the family and you better believe she didn't let ANYONE forget that! 

And we feel proud, and happy, and alive, and we are osum.

Sweaty Stinky Suessical Sensational Mother's Day Weekend

 Does anyone else have a dirty house and loads of stinky laundry and an empty fridge and sunscreen residue on the kiddos and bags under your eyes and sore feet that desperately need a pedicure?  Anyone?  Just me?  Proof that you didn't do any of the things that you *should* have done and instead only the things you *wanted* to do.  I seemed to have done none of the weekend chores and only busied myself with the fun stuff of this life!   Relaxation was not on the menu for this Mother's Day weekend, but that is totally okay with me.  I did get a nap on Saturday and Sunday, and that made all the running and stinking worth it.  


Friday night the girls took me to Suessical performed by Tigard High School.  It was awesome, amazing that this was a high school production, there was a lot of talent, and the show was great.  My friend's daughter was in the cast, so it was fun to watch her and I got a picture of Lily with her after the show.  My friend wasn't at the performance so she was thrilled to get a cute picture of our girls.  Several people commented on how well behaved my daughters were during the show (any mama knows this is a Mother's Day gift in and of itself! Who? My kids? Angels?  Obviously an indication of the kind of mother I am? Oh, go ON!).  And they were.  Lily even kept the talking and questions to a minimum.  It didn't get out until around 9:30, so they were beat.  Addie was too tired to get pictures with the cast, but Lily could have stayed an extra hour if I would have let her! 

Horton and Gertrude

Kangaroo and Monkeys

Lily and Blondie

Lily and the Who's

Proof that it wasn't the Lily show

Cat in the hat signing her program

Happy tired girls

  The next morning I was up bright and early to get everything ready for the AIM walk for Melanoma with my friend ShanRae, who drove into town from Bend.  Lily had a baseball game, so I took the two little ones and Lawrence and Lily went to her game.  We had to be out the door at 7:30am (or so I thought, turns out we were about an hour early).  So after water bottles and sunscreen and sun hats and stoller and booster seat and Ergo Carrier were loaded into the car, we woke up Addie and she was ready to go.  I thought she might need to get carried part of the 5K but not only did she walk the entire 3.14 miles, she ran most of it.  It was a great course through some beautiful SE Portland neighborhoods, and we had a great time.  ShanRae's mom and sister came from Joseph, so the 6 of us walked together and got to talk and catch up.  It was a small walk.  Which shows the need for more Melanoma awareness and fundraising, but it raised $12K, pretty good, especially for the size.  I'll do another post on Melanoma.  I was shocked as I learned even more about this terrible and fast growing disease, and how early prevention really is the ONLY remedy.  Either you get it at the source, or you die from it, essentially.  Once it spreads it is basically untreatable.  Which is why education is so important.  Why annual screenings and self checks are so important.   I was proud to walk next to my childhood best friend in her lavender survivor shirt.  I was proud of how she is turning this crappy experience into a positive, and I am so grateful that our path's and friendships have strengthened again through this so she was able to be such a support for me and the cancer that I had.  Listening to the Melanoma stories, I was so grateful that it was not the kind of skin cancer I had, and I realized once again, just how lucky I was.  I am.  After the race we had a nice lunch, the complimented my kids (who we playing with knives by the end of the meal - buying me a few more talking minutes with my friend) behavior.  Ha!  Again, go ON! :)   

Lily did great at her game on Saturday, then she and Lawrence went for a bike ride down to the water feature near New Seasons at the bottom of our hill.  I got home, and put all three of my crew promptly down for a nap.  Including myself.  Awwww yeah.  Addie didn't nap though, crazy girl who just ran 3 miles!  Lawrence ran out to get some steak for grilling, while I had a water balloon fight with my kids.  At the store, he saw our friends the Powers, who were also getting some grilling goods.  He came back with the whole crowd and we had an impromptu dinner with some of our favorite friends.  Yay.  Addie's meltdown came fast and furious an hour after bedtime, so that lead to the split of our dinner.  We were expecting it much earlier, late night last night, early morning today, no nap.  In true tired Addie form I laid down with her and she went from screaming bloodie murder to wimper to asleep in about 5 minutes.  I hate to see her like that, but when she is so tired, I love how it feels to easy that little sweetie to sleep in my arms.  


Sunday - HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY!
Not only do I get to be a mom to three wonderful kids, I got to learn how to be a loving mom from the very best!  Thanks Mom!!

Family photo

Addie and Daddy

Addie on the left

Lily (and my friend's son, Stuart) finishing strong

Addie at the finish

This was after 3 miles in the sun and my little people were cheering SO hard for me. So hard not to smile SO big!

Up and at 'em even earlier today.  The sun was shining, and we'd mostly planned ahead so getting out the door by 7 went by with out much frazzle on my part.  True accomplishment, I'll admit!  Lily's tummy was hurting so she was complaining a little, but we got down with only 15 minutes until her race, so she seemed to forget about it.  Lawrence ran with the girls for their one mile run, toward the back.  Lily started with them, but weaved her way closer to the front.  Overall she finished 8th and Addie finished 26th out of 64 total in the race.  They ran so fast and didn't walk at all, I was so proud of them.  Lily was 1st in her age division out of 14 and she was 2nd overall out of 36 girls.  Her time was 9:52.  Faster than I can do a mile! :)  Addie was 6/20 in her age division that went up to 6 year olds.  She ran her mile in 12:09, that's more my pace.  She was a little disappointed not to get a medal after getting one last year, but I reminded her that she ran FOUR miles this weekend, and that was farther than any FOUR year old I know. :)  I got my personal worst time for running a 5K but I could care less about that.  I got like 226th place or something awesome like that.  I didn't get a medal.  :)  I felt good (unlike my last 5K), ran the whole thing in the sunshine with beautiful music blasting in my headphones, I wasn't in it for the speed (says she who was not speedy).  

One tired Addie

One HAPPY Lily

I got some great Mother's Day gifts from the kids, including a World's Best Mom mug, a new camping chair, a frilly cute polka dot apron, a song written and performed by Lily, back up by Addie, a cook book from Addie made at school, a plate Lily made at school.  100 pieces of riff raff crafts with Lightning McQueen stamps and crayons and projects obviously colored by my nanny and popsicle sticks with balloon stickers on them and scribbles and so.much.love.  I also bought myself a new sun hat for the summer.  We took another awesome nap after a really yummy lunch, and then played outside, BBQed again, and just soaked in more time together.  The day ended, in true Mother (of-small-children)'s day form, 2/3 kids pooped their pants swimsuits while playing outside, and in even truer Mother's day form, daddy cleaned it up while I quickly bathed 3/3 kids.

Last night I was sweaty and stinky with dirty feet and dirty fingernails, my face and arms were sun-kissed - and I was layered with many applications of greasy sunscreen, my eyes and feet were so tired.  I did a quick surface level clean up, after all my parents-in-law were to arrive late night and there was STUFF everywhere, but it was no where near what it would have been if we didn't thoroughly enjoy every minute of the weekend.
  
I showered and fell into bed on the sheets that I meant to change today.  I was asleep in just a few minutes, but the mess and the long to do list left untouched reminded me that without a shadow of a doubt, we did this Mother's day riiii....


(fell asleep before I could finish the though, even further proof that is was true)

The sun shines when the forecast calls for rain

Lawrence emailed me our baseball schedule this morning, and I wanted to vomit.  It's for Lily's team and he is coaching, both great things.  When I look at our already full schedule, adding 29 dates that take Lawrence and Lily outside in the mud and rain, 29 dates that I will feel guilty if I cannot attend.  Well.  Just. Vomit.  


Not to say that I don't want her to do this.  Or him to do this.  But these are first graders, 18 games and 11 more practices feels like overkill.  Still, I will find a way to make the goals that I set for myself last week work.  I will find a way to attend some of the games and help with the smaller kids on some of the practices.  I'm mostly scared about the other ones.  It's only logistics, right?  I've overcome harder things in my life than logistics.  Still, I'll admit that some days it feels like logistics are the enemy that might just bring me down.  


As for some fun weekend news, Addie got pulled aside in Karate on Saturday, to pretest for her Orange belt.  Sigh.  Saturday was to be her last class for a while.  She only knows sports in seasons and we told her that Karate season is almost over, it is baseball season now.  She got two special stripes on her belt Saturday and they told Lawrence we need to preorder her orange belt and scheduled her official test for April 14.  Um, sure, no problem.  It's not like we have a contractor coming that day to do some estimates on repairs on the house, or dinner with friends, or baseball practice, and it's right during Bryson's nap time, perfect!, we'll be there!  Because it's Addie's special thing and if you could see the excitement in her face, you would know that the only decision is to let her do Karate for another 2 weeks at least and let her test for this belt.  She held her striped belt out for me yesterday when I got home from my 5K/girls weekend and you would have thought she was showing me a treasure, precious and valuable.  Then as she and Lily skipped up to their quiet time together I heard her say, "Lily, can we talk about my belt in quiet time".  Lily shot me a sweet glance and smile, I nodded, and Lily said "Sure, Addie".  Addie beamed, beamed!


Friday was the last day of the quarter, always an extremely busy and stressful day in corporate accounting world.  I finished up around 5:30, showered and packed in 10 minutes, then watched movie night with the kids.  After getting them to bed, I packed a little more and headed to the train station to pick up my friend Lisa at 9pm.  


From there we went to my friend Sharon's house, where we met the rest of our group, one of whom, Melinda, a high school friend who drove in from Boise.  It was rainy and soggy and Sharon's amazing husband had taken her two young boys camping so that ladies weekend could take over the house.  Wine and talking until 1am (then 2am for me and my HS roomie!)


Saturday was a great day.  We ate like kings (thank you Sharon) went to the farmer's market, picked up our packets for the race, drank Rum bought for us in Belize by Christina.  Sharon made us a yummy smootie to mix with it, and then the SUN CAME OUT so we sat on the porch to drink it.  It was awesome.  

It was supposed to pour down rain on Sunday.  Our run was at 7:35am, and we were all preparing for wet feet and brought dry clothes.  We were filled with some dread.  But you know what?  The sun was shining.  The whole time.  We ran fast and hard, none of us had a best time on the clock but we definitely had the best time together.  Celebrating our friendships and the support it provides each one of us; and also celebrating our healthy bodies.  

After a great Sunday with my family and an early bedtime, I am refreshed.  My cup is full and my body is sore.  This weekend was a good reminder not to look to the forecast ahead, not to vomit about the calendar, just enjoy the sun shining at this moment.  

What I said...

As you know I lost my friend Julie on October 10th.

Today I spoke at Julie's memorial service and here is what I said...

"Hi, my name is Jenny, I am a friend and coworker of Julie's, and until Julie got cancer we were just normal work friends. We talked about stuff around the office and had casual conversations about our personal lives. She gave me sweet advice about not sweating the small stuff since I was planning my wedding when I met her in 2002. She knew what she was talking about in that department, having definitely showed a great example of an amazing marriage looked like. It was after she was diagnosed, and she started her blog, it was then that I got to deeply know her. And through that, she changed me. Her dignified battle and humor and wit through it has been an inspiration to me, and how I live my life. I wanted to do something for her, something tangible to show support, so I organized a team to walk in a cancer benefit walk in her name. She was touched, so deeply.

I was thinking the other day about how much Julie would have liked to go on for years with the title of 'cancer survivor', and how unfair it is that she cannot, I was reminded that it is something did get to experience. During that first Making Strides Cancer walk that we did together in her name, she got to make a lap with the other survivors. She was in remission for the first time and feeling strong enough to finish the entire 5K holding a sign she's fashioned with a long (heavy) wooden pole and a pillow case with the numerous names of the people who inspired her and who been affected by cancer. As I watched Julie make that survivor lap, with tears in my eyes, I both was proud to know her and honored to witness her own pride in herself. She did it. Of course that wasn't the end of Julie's battle, but I'm so glad she was able to know that victory, feel that victory, and be recognized in such an exhibition as the true survivor that she is.

As I said, I came to know Julie more intimately through her blog, and her words touched me. As I read back through it this week, looking for a few meaningful passages I wanted to share, they were numerous. There was no way I could do her justice reading just a few lines. I'm so grateful that we have her writing to look back over and to remember her...to continue to be inspired by her.

April 2009
A few days after her last chemo in April of 2009, she was writing about looking forward to a day of feeling not yucky (she promised that was an technical oncology term). She wrote of the ailments that she still struggled with and how she couldn't wait for those to pass. And she wrote:

But just today I was reading The Hotel New Hampshire by John Irving, and came across this:

“Human beings are remarkable – at what we can learn to live with,” ... “If we couldn’t get strong from what we lose, and what we miss, and what we want and can’t have,” ... “then we couldn’t ever get strong enough, could we? What else makes us strong?” ...

In September 2009 she wrote of feeling like she was finally "Back in the game" after sitting through 2 years of her life, sitting on the sidelines...she was having a hard time shaking what she described beautifully as "cancer colored lenses". The (rose) optimism, the (blue) grief, the (green) envy, the (black) fear, the (red)anger. This speaks to her wisdom.

She wrote of those with terminal cancer before she was speaking of herself and she said:

"But for someone for whom the “new normal” is to live their life with ongoing treatment and an unsure future, is there life without the glasses? To deal with it at all is something [for them] to be proud of; and it is our job, as their friends and family, to be on the outside of whatever lenses they wear, providing a pool of love and normalcy for them to dip into when they need it, and can handle it.

Of course, that is true for even us curable cancer patients – I had an ocean of love and normalcy around me due to all the friends and family who supported me and let me know they were there even when things were difficult. I would not have had the courage to remove the cancer lenses without them. I can only hope to be part of such a source for those I love who need it in their turn"

Could she have possibly known how her survival and ongoing fight with cancer could lead to be such a source of courage for those of us who loved her? For friends, known and unknown.

Julie, now that your battle is finished, and you did not win it the way you would have like to defined "win". I hope you know that your life made a difference. If it made such an impact on someone like me, who only knew you for a relative few number of years, and we only scratched the surface of who you really are, I can't imagine the souls you have touched during your fifty years on this earth, and those you will continue to touch through your beautiful words and through your legacy.

Thank you, dear friend.

Sad things sorry - and a nutshell.

Wow. Can't believe so many people read this blog. I'd never know it by the number of comments I get in a given week...

So, I guess I really upset a lot of you by posting that I had some sadness to write about. Sorry for that. I have to laugh a little thought because some of you who criticized me for leaving you hanging...don't let me into your lives at ALL. Good or bad! Hanging or full disclosure! It's okay to need to process sad things and it's okay to want to write about them. It's also okay to not be able to. Still, I didn't want to worry anyone. I guess I wanted to say that while I do have some sad things, I'm really doing okay. Just penning up some emotions that might better be let out.

I keep trying and I can't. I'm all blocked up when I try to write with any structure or coherence. It's hard to give the feelings any words. And then after making an statement about needing to write about sad things, and being jumped on, I really can't write. Maybe a nutshell will help, I don't know...

For those of you who don't know, my little brother has been deployed to Iraq and is in his last weeks of training in Mississippi before leaving the country for over a year. He is my only sibling and he is a very big deal to me. I want to write a lot about him and how I'm feeling (or the feelings that I'm not feeling, stuffing away, later to haunt me or make me cry at inopportune moments). I have friends who have husbands deployed with my little bro. And their sadness is so raw, I don't know what do with it all (future guest post by Melinda coming very soon). At the same time we said goodbye to Matt, Sabine also left. I have more to write about her goodbye, but I can't, not just yet. I got to wake up to see her face every day for almost a year, and I really miss seeing her so much. It's such a weird experience having someone be so close to your family, living with you, seeing the good, the bad, and the crazy, and then having them gone to be seen who-knows-when. I knew it would happen but it doesn't make me less sad. People think that because Julia is such a great AuPair, then I shouldn't miss Sabine. But I don't miss having a good AuPair, our Julia is an AMAZING AuPair, so I do have that. It's just that I miss my Bean-Bean. Just like being with one friend doesn't make you miss another friend less. I'm worried for my friend Jeanine and her mom, my heart aches for them and losing Jack a few weeks ago. And I haven't been able to talk in length with Jeanine to find out how she is doing and how they are coping. But I know the man that Jack was deserves a million posts plus one!

And then the really tragic news. On Friday, Julia's good friend was killed in a car accident. Her name was Sarah, and she was 23. She was from Julia's small hometown in Germany of 1000 people. She has been in the US for about 6 weeks, in South Carolina to study for a year. She is the oldest of 4 and her family and Julia's families are very very close to each other. Obviously the news of this, has been devastating to all of those who loved her. And even though I didn't know her, this loss for Julia and her family is weighing heavily on my heart. I want to be whatever love and support I can to my sweet girl in this time of mourning. And I pray for comfort over all the mother's in this situation. It's hard to know what to do when someone is filled with raw grief. I feel grateful that in the times that there are no words to say, Bryson's smiles seem to genuinely brighten Julia's days, even when she is feeling very down. Babies have that gift. It's hard to understand God's plan and trust him in a tragedy such as this, but we do know with certainty that she was welcomed into His loving arms. Even though it leaves a big hole for those that knew her, here on earth.

In addition to that, breast cancer is about to claim the life of my friend Julie (if it hasn't already and I just haven't gotten the news). We've all been waiting, holding our breath when we check the blog, and having mixed feelings about what we will see there. Yesterday they thought she was breathing her last breaths, but now we don't know more...

It's among some of this sadness that I do find perspective. But perspective doesn't make it less sad. If you pray, and feel so inclined, you can pray for Julie's husband, Brian; for all the people who loved Sarah, and for her little sisters and little brother, for her mom and dad; you can pray for my Julia's family, that while grieving for their friends, they can trust that their daughter will come home safely to them and that we will take good care of her; pray for the safety of my brother and that of Juan Garcia while in Iraq, pray for Jeanine, Colleen, Nycole, & Aristeo as they attempt to have peace about the void that losing Jack has left in their lives. And while your at, give a little thanks for all the good things He's doing in your life. Open you eyes and just look, you'll see it. I sure am.

So each of these things deserves more words and more time and more care. This certainly didn't feel very therapeutic. But I can't leave you all worried out there, now can I?

Walk a Thon

Addie is in the purple shirt black pants
Addie and Luca
Snow cones, Addie, Luca, Poopy Boy
Addie and Luca just starting out

Addie had a Walk a thon this morning and Lily had her Jog a thon. I couldn't be two places at the same time during the 20-30 minutes when they walked/jogged, so I decided to go to Addie's. I was feeling bad about missing Lily's but Lawrence made me feel better by reminding me that this is the first of many many many times I'm going to have to choose one child over another and let someone down. And it will only get worse when Bryson is in school too. Huh, gee thanks babe!

I was glad I went to Addie's walk-a-thon. She has felt very important having school 2 days a week and this walk a thon was very important to her. She and Lily were giving each other tips about running vs walking and pacing yourself this morning that cracked me up. She was so cute, she ran almost the whole time. She knew just what to do from watching Lily the last two years I guess, and she was ready for her time. As we walked up, one girl named Kiera ran up and said, "Addie!" and they came together waving both hands and then interlocked fingers once they were chest to chest. It was very sweet for me to see an interaction like that for her, she is forming her own relationships outside of the ones I create for her.

She ran and ran and ran. Stopped when it was time for them to make the mark on her back to track her laps, and then ran and ran. Once she stopped at the water bottle section to give her name and collect her water bottle. I marveled at how amazing it is to see her independent of her sister, outside of our house, especially. I was just a parking lot away, but I imagined if Lily was there, holding her hand and giving Addie's name for her in order to get the water.

Addie's best friend at school "coo" as she calls it, is Luca. We are friends with his parents, but they had only hung out a few times before school started. During the middle of the walk, they started to hold hands, totally without coaxing. Addie did take off running a few times while Luca was walking, she was sweaty and red faced, she really took this thing seriously.

At the end they got snow cones, Addie's was orange, one boy pooped his pants while he sat next to Addie eating his, Addie ran the most by far of any girl, 24 laps around the parking lot, all in all, a pretty good start to the day!

Today is Julia's 20th Birthday, so while I'm getting set to work and start closing the quarter, they are baking mondel bread and cupcakes downstairs, yummy, it's making me hungry. We are having a big party for all the Au Pairs tonight at our house. Happy Birthday Julia, thanks for all you do for us!!

7 blogs in 7 days - day 7

July - the things I skipped over...

Wow, around day 3 I thought that I wasn't going to be able to keep up with this. But it's already 7 days and I have a million things to write about and pictures to share.

In order to continue to use this system (thank you Aimee) to clear out my photos, I'm going to update you on the July pictures that didn't get posted.

A beauty shot with yogurt face

Katy (our summer nanny) had so much fun with the girls this summer...every day was spent outside, at parks, at picnics, running in the sprinkler. The three of them lived in their swimming suits.
Addie's potty chart. Every time she goes, Lily excitedly gets her a sticker and they run to the chart together saying "Yay, Addie". Lily made the chart with a picture of her helping Addie and the potty.
If you wondered how Lawrence stays so buff...this is a daily occurrence...
I gave my friend Robin a baby shower in July at Jopa and it was so fun. It was a small group of close friends, and we celebrated what a great mother she is. (Me, Robin, Beth, Melissa, Shawna, & Jodie)
Melinda's wedding with Jeanine
Melinda (best friend in Jr. High) and I at her wedding

Indigo Girls concert at the zoo (Me, Stephanie, Shawna, & Kirstin). This is the night before the wedding...so this was a busy jet setting weekend for me!
Playing at the mall with such a happy smile
Helping make lunches
JUMPY HOUSE!!!!!
The girls LOVE jumpy houses, and will always be up for an hour line wait in the blazing heat to go in one (a few times to find out that Addie was too YOUNG!) but our friends, the Ornelas's bought one for their backyard and the girls couldn't be happier.
This was at our frined Jennifer & Linda's bday party. These are the TWO Addies! My Adeline Faith and Marsha's (Guernert-Moore) Adeya Hope! They both loved saying TWO ADDIES!!!
This is not a great picture, but that is Lawrence with the double stroller at Relay for Life in Lake Oswego, an amazing event that we hope to make an annual tradition. Our family raised almost $200 for the American Cancer Society and the girls had a blast
Lily getting to meet the Bissell's son, Cohen (Addie was napping).
Admiring goats at the zoo. The girls LOVE the zoo
Addie at the zoo!
Nail party with Katy (one of the many rewards for great behavior).
Ballet

I thought I would add a few missed photos in August too...but I don't think so. This post is long enough. 7 of 7 - I MADE IT!