| ||||
| ||||
| So for the record. I did get induced on that Monday, even though I thought I wouldn't. And once I held my 6lb 2oz baby in my arms, I never regretted it for one second! | ||||||
Monday, June 27, 2011
Out of the Past : 40 weeks
Tuesday, May 24, 2011
Hello, friend - It's been a while
So maybe I'm kind of glad that I didn't blog every sad day of the last 6 months, but I know I missed recording a bunch of the happy stuff too. I've been alone, mostly. Just me and my family. I've exchanged some emails with friends, and a couple of quick conversations, but mostly I've been isolated, and work has been my "me" time. Being lonely makes a girl do a whole lot of thinking and praying. Friends say things to me like, "Oh, Jenny, I wish I'd known, I wish you'd called me", but the truth is, I don't and haven't even felt like talking about it. And that's part of why I stopped blogging. I didn't feel like writing about the way our (read my) life was going day in and day out.
I am so grateful to our moms, my brother, and to the few friends who I did stay in touch with over the past few months. For those that didn't put the pressure on me to be more or do more than I could. For those that sent me encouraging emails and gchats about how I could make it through. On Feb 1st I started exercising again. I started with the 30 day shred in 35 days, and then I've kept up with this unlikely group of 7 on a private blog, what started at a group of about 20, quickly dwindled, all from various walks of life, the 7 of us write in each day to say that we did or did not exercise, and set our weekly goals, talk about how much water we drank, you know, exciting stuff. Through all of this, exercise and daily endorphins (along with the daily encouragement of those 7 amazing inspiring ladies) have got me through. The last month, I haven't met the goals I've set for myself, but I have run two 5Ks and I am still working out about 4 times a week. It's good. I have to let good be enough. Lawrence is a super dad. I am so thankful to him for doing so much for the kids and the house when I've been absent or useless. I'm also to blessed to have our AuPair, Julia, who loves the kids so unconditionally, they miss me when I work long days, but I never ever have to worry about them, because they know, beyond a shadow of a doubt, they are loved. So loved!
Lawrence coached Lily's T-ball team, and last night was the last game. We had a party after and he passed out trophies. I was so proud of my man, as I watched him get his photo with each beaming kid, and listened to their parents thank him profusely (the way I do for both of the girls' teachers). Sometimes it is important that I stop and look at him for who he is and thank my lucky stars that he wanted to marry me.
I'm so acutely aware of how much I appreciate the way my regular happy brain works. I won't take for granted my positive outlook and my ability to power through ever again. Because not having that sucks.
June 1st.
It was a date that was out there, waiting for me, like a life preserver, like if I can just get to June 1st, I'll be okay. But it was So.Far.Away. I had a (one of many) meltdown on Feb 15th, and thought that June 1st might never come. But now it is only a week away. The bulk of the audit at work is over, and the sun occasionally has been showing it's sweet face. I have a few days at the beach planned in a few weeks with my family. My baby is almost 1.5 and my girls are about to graduate from their first year at their new schools. They are all so big and so beautiful. It's a new season.
And I'm so ready for it.
Sunday, April 24, 2011
Happy Easter!
We had a wonderful morning at church, the kids were all dressed up and looked so cute. Julia joined me and Lawrence is cooking his yummy ham specialty. May each of you feel God's love and abundant gifts, as I do today.
Isaiah 55
Invitation to the Thirsty
1 “Come, all you who are thirsty,come to the waters;
and you who have no money,
come, buy and eat!
Come, buy wine and milk
without money and without cost.
2 Why spend money on what is not bread,
and your labor on what does not satisfy?
Listen, listen to me, and eat what is good,
and you will delight in the richest of fare.
3 Give ear and come to me;
listen, that you may live.
I will make an everlasting covenant with you,
my faithful love promised to David.
Isaiah 53
5 But he was pierced for our transgressions,he was crushed for our iniquities;
the punishment that brought us peace was on him,
and by his wounds we are healed.
Thursday, April 21, 2011
Got Milk?
Yesterday was a big day for the Herman family. For the first time ever, all members were able to share a pizza and ice cream together!
Addie had a food challenge at the allergist where she drank milk (which by the 3rd serving (1/2 a cc) she wouldn't drink and actually puked up the 3rd dosage, due to milk's grossness), so then ate yogurt in 30 minute intervals at increasing amounts for 6 hrs. I ran out for chocolate milk after the vomit, but by that time she was doing well with the yogurt so she stuck with that, she has had 2 cups of chocolate milk since.
She was so so excited, and we were excited for her. She was like a crazy woman last night, so so so happy. What an amazing blessing it is not to have this worry for her, especially as she goes to preschool and camps this summer. She is still allergic to peanuts, and we will go back next year to test for that, but next to this milk allergy, that feels so easy to deal with. Today they were baking in her preschool class, how nice it was not to bring something different for her or buy all the Addie safe ingredients for the whole class to use!
I think she places much of her identity in being allergic and having "special" foods, so we were careful to make sure she knew that she was VERY SPECIAL for getting to eat this and that for the first time. We'll continue with that.
She gobbled up her pizza like nobody's business, I wish I had that on video. Yay, Addie, we love you very much!
Addie had a food challenge at the allergist where she drank milk (which by the 3rd serving (1/2 a cc) she wouldn't drink and actually puked up the 3rd dosage, due to milk's grossness), so then ate yogurt in 30 minute intervals at increasing amounts for 6 hrs. I ran out for chocolate milk after the vomit, but by that time she was doing well with the yogurt so she stuck with that, she has had 2 cups of chocolate milk since.
She was so so excited, and we were excited for her. She was like a crazy woman last night, so so so happy. What an amazing blessing it is not to have this worry for her, especially as she goes to preschool and camps this summer. She is still allergic to peanuts, and we will go back next year to test for that, but next to this milk allergy, that feels so easy to deal with. Today they were baking in her preschool class, how nice it was not to bring something different for her or buy all the Addie safe ingredients for the whole class to use!
I think she places much of her identity in being allergic and having "special" foods, so we were careful to make sure she knew that she was VERY SPECIAL for getting to eat this and that for the first time. We'll continue with that.
She gobbled up her pizza like nobody's business, I wish I had that on video. Yay, Addie, we love you very much!
Tuesday, April 19, 2011
Today my friend said this to me...and it was awesome...
"Jenny, I get how you are feeling. I mean, essentially what you are doing is trying to fit a square peg through a round hole each month. And you whittle the damn square peg down which takes a ton of time and work and you eventually get it through. But you're like, why can't it just be round?!"
One of the great joys in life is when a friend truly gets you! :)
Thursday, April 14, 2011
16 months
Wow. A month since I last posted.
I'm seeing a light at the end of the tunnel. An itty bitty teeny tiny light. But a light nonetheless. On Tuesday, I felt like I wanted to blog for the first time in a very long time, that's a good thing, right?
So 16 months, as the header, that's Bryson's age today, if you didn't know.
I'm almost ready to say 1.5 years instead of just one. I can't believe it . He has like 6 teeth coming in and is a drooley snotty monster who eats all of our perfectly cared for board books. A monster who says "I love you" and gives real kisses now, but a monster nonetheless. His love for Mickey Mouse has gotten stronger, and Gma helped that out by bringing him a MM that is the same size as him. We put an Elmo diaper on Mickey yesterday and I think the kid almost exploded. We are in the stage of throw yourself on the floor tantrums. Unlike the big sisters before him, it doesn't infuriate me when he does it. I often have to turn away to hide my laughter. He's been taking great delight in eating yogurt, closing his eyes and really enjoying it as you shovel it in. FUNNY. His vocab has expanded exponentially in the last month, there isn't a word you can say that he doesn't repeat. Today the kids and Julia skyped with Bean-Bean and so Sabine got to hear him SAY Bean-Bean for the first time. How lovely! :) He said Uncle Matt to Uncle Matt the other day too. Skyping is NOT easy with the little guy who sees numerous buttons to push and is NOT okay with the fact that they are not there for his pounding, but Julia discovered that the high chair is the perfect place for him to skype! :) Little guy also got his first black eye this month, running with a cash register in his arms over a pile of pillows.
Addie had an allergy test on Tuesday, it was her annual one, a couple of months late, because that's the way things have been going around here. She's had a few exposures to milk in baked goods lately, accidentally of course. We sit with Benadryl and Epi-Pen in hand, with held breath, but no reaction. So we were hopeful, that we would get the results we did. Her milk allergy showed up negative!! After 3 years of it being considered severe anaphylaxis. She hadn't had any accidental milk exposure for 2 years (at which time she vomited profusely and was instantly covered in hives). So a cookie at school and some break with Grandma and Julie with no reaction left us hopeful. On Wednesday she goes in for a 6 hr food challenge where they rub some milk on her skin and give it to her to drink in small increasing increments, 20 minutes at a time, monitoring her vitals the whole time. We are encouraged to bring chocolate syrup because a kid who has never tried milk might consider it quite yucky! :)
Lily is playing Tball and really loves it. She is quite good too. You know, for Tball. Lawrence is coaching and the two of them have really enjoyed some special bonding and growing together. Her bangs are grown out now, and she got her ears pierced with her Grandma. She has taken VERY good care of them, and still cleans them twice a day. I was a little bit disappointed to miss the big event (they did it while I was at work) but I was thrilled that Julia got a video, and my cousin, Rose reminded me that while I didn't share that memory with her, she will have that special memory with her Grandma Carol and wouldn't I have loved to have that with my Grandmother. So true. Lily is growing up so fast and is becoming more and more of a beautiful and mature young lady. She is a DELIGHT to spend time with, and is such a big helper around the house. When she found out about Addie's allergy test she picked her up and carried her around the house. She was so excited that LILY might as well have been the one who might get the chance to taste Ice Cream for the first time. It was so sweet. Here is the video of her ears:
I went to a women's retreat with my church to Cannon Beach last weekend and it was amazing. I was reminded AGAIN, how much God loves me, no matter where I am at in my life, no matter what I am struggling with, no matter. I don't have to do anything to get this love, I don't deserve it, I don't have to work for it, it just is. It's hard to wrap my brain around that, and I can only imagine a sliver glimpse of it through the love from my mother and the love I have for my kids. I went for a run on the beach and it was just amazing. The waves, Haystack rock, the music in my headphones, God's love surrounding me, the majesty of the oceans. I wish I could start every single day that way. Except for my old aching knees. Seriously, my knees think they are 90. I have been working out since Feb 1. I started with a 30 day Shred, and have continued with other Jillian Michael's workout videos mostly, we are an accountability group of about 7. We started off as a group of about 20, but there are still 7 of us working out every day with scheduled days off, checking in with each other. It is an eclectic group of strong women in my life and I'm grateful for it. Lawrence and I ran a 5K with a college friend a few weeks ago when his mom was here visiting. It was really good, I ran the whole way finished in 33ish minutes, a 10:55 mile pace which surpassed my goal of not walking and finishing under 40 minutes! :) A great accomplishment.
Work has been unbearable, so my wonderful husband, my beautiful kids, a few friends, exercise, God, and faith that things will get easier one way or another has been getting me through each day.
I want to come here more. I want to feel like blogging. I want to feel like writing and documenting the feelings that I have. But that's not where I've been, that's not what I felt like. So for now, I will come here when I can, when I feel like it. Share what I want to, and not feel guilty for missing the past 5 months of stuff I've missed. I'm learning a lot about myself, how much I can handle, and letting myself off the hook when I need to. I really celebrated a good day on Tuesday. In fact, this week has been the week first in 75 days when I won't meet the workout goals that I set in front of myself for the week, that I "only" workout 3 days this week, instead of 5. As I took a long hard look at what motivates me, I realized that might mean I'm doing better, I've been clinging to exercise and the daily endorphins it brings like a life preserver. It is something I can control and improve when everything else seemed to be unmanageable. So does that mean not working out and eating 77 individually mini pastel wrapped Reeses Peanut Butter Cups is a good thing? SURE! That's what I'm going to tell myself anyway...
I'm seeing a light at the end of the tunnel. An itty bitty teeny tiny light. But a light nonetheless. On Tuesday, I felt like I wanted to blog for the first time in a very long time, that's a good thing, right?
So 16 months, as the header, that's Bryson's age today, if you didn't know.
I'm almost ready to say 1.5 years instead of just one. I can't believe it . He has like 6 teeth coming in and is a drooley snotty monster who eats all of our perfectly cared for board books. A monster who says "I love you" and gives real kisses now, but a monster nonetheless. His love for Mickey Mouse has gotten stronger, and Gma helped that out by bringing him a MM that is the same size as him. We put an Elmo diaper on Mickey yesterday and I think the kid almost exploded. We are in the stage of throw yourself on the floor tantrums. Unlike the big sisters before him, it doesn't infuriate me when he does it. I often have to turn away to hide my laughter. He's been taking great delight in eating yogurt, closing his eyes and really enjoying it as you shovel it in. FUNNY. His vocab has expanded exponentially in the last month, there isn't a word you can say that he doesn't repeat. Today the kids and Julia skyped with Bean-Bean and so Sabine got to hear him SAY Bean-Bean for the first time. How lovely! :) He said Uncle Matt to Uncle Matt the other day too. Skyping is NOT easy with the little guy who sees numerous buttons to push and is NOT okay with the fact that they are not there for his pounding, but Julia discovered that the high chair is the perfect place for him to skype! :) Little guy also got his first black eye this month, running with a cash register in his arms over a pile of pillows.
Lily is playing Tball and really loves it. She is quite good too. You know, for Tball. Lawrence is coaching and the two of them have really enjoyed some special bonding and growing together. Her bangs are grown out now, and she got her ears pierced with her Grandma. She has taken VERY good care of them, and still cleans them twice a day. I was a little bit disappointed to miss the big event (they did it while I was at work) but I was thrilled that Julia got a video, and my cousin, Rose reminded me that while I didn't share that memory with her, she will have that special memory with her Grandma Carol and wouldn't I have loved to have that with my Grandmother. So true. Lily is growing up so fast and is becoming more and more of a beautiful and mature young lady. She is a DELIGHT to spend time with, and is such a big helper around the house. When she found out about Addie's allergy test she picked her up and carried her around the house. She was so excited that LILY might as well have been the one who might get the chance to taste Ice Cream for the first time. It was so sweet. Here is the video of her ears:
I went to a women's retreat with my church to Cannon Beach last weekend and it was amazing. I was reminded AGAIN, how much God loves me, no matter where I am at in my life, no matter what I am struggling with, no matter. I don't have to do anything to get this love, I don't deserve it, I don't have to work for it, it just is. It's hard to wrap my brain around that, and I can only imagine a sliver glimpse of it through the love from my mother and the love I have for my kids. I went for a run on the beach and it was just amazing. The waves, Haystack rock, the music in my headphones, God's love surrounding me, the majesty of the oceans. I wish I could start every single day that way. Except for my old aching knees. Seriously, my knees think they are 90. I have been working out since Feb 1. I started with a 30 day Shred, and have continued with other Jillian Michael's workout videos mostly, we are an accountability group of about 7. We started off as a group of about 20, but there are still 7 of us working out every day with scheduled days off, checking in with each other. It is an eclectic group of strong women in my life and I'm grateful for it. Lawrence and I ran a 5K with a college friend a few weeks ago when his mom was here visiting. It was really good, I ran the whole way finished in 33ish minutes, a 10:55 mile pace which surpassed my goal of not walking and finishing under 40 minutes! :) A great accomplishment. 
Work has been unbearable, so my wonderful husband, my beautiful kids, a few friends, exercise, God, and faith that things will get easier one way or another has been getting me through each day.
I want to come here more. I want to feel like blogging. I want to feel like writing and documenting the feelings that I have. But that's not where I've been, that's not what I felt like. So for now, I will come here when I can, when I feel like it. Share what I want to, and not feel guilty for missing the past 5 months of stuff I've missed. I'm learning a lot about myself, how much I can handle, and letting myself off the hook when I need to. I really celebrated a good day on Tuesday. In fact, this week has been the week first in 75 days when I won't meet the workout goals that I set in front of myself for the week, that I "only" workout 3 days this week, instead of 5. As I took a long hard look at what motivates me, I realized that might mean I'm doing better, I've been clinging to exercise and the daily endorphins it brings like a life preserver. It is something I can control and improve when everything else seemed to be unmanageable. So does that mean not working out and eating 77 individually mini pastel wrapped Reeses Peanut Butter Cups is a good thing? SURE! That's what I'm going to tell myself anyway...
These feet
These Eyes
These Smiles
Make my world go 'round
Monday, March 14, 2011
15 months
My baby boy Bryson is 15 months old today. Oh, my, how there are barely words to describe him.
His newest love is Mickey Mouse, he says "Mick Mow" and it is probably the cutest thing my ears have ever heard. I handed him a plate shaped like Mickey last night for dinner and he held it and stared at it with a beaming smile. We also went through a hand me down bag of clothes from a friend and found Mickey Mouse pj shirt. Wow. He couldn't have been more excited and has worn it for the last two nights. He got mad when I put his sleep sack on because he couldn't see his Mick Mow anymore.
Other loves, Elmo ("Emmo") & Donald Duck ("Duck Duck") & Thomas ("Mum-as").
He loves running up the stairs, slamming doors and gates, EATING, bonking his forehead on things, giving hugs, getting the broom out of the pantry and finding my full cups of coffee on the counters edge with the handle, reading books, eating books, his monk-monk, pushing buttons on toys that make noise, over and over, music, dancing, hugging soft things (so hard in fact sometimes he needs to lay his body on the couch, chair or floor to hug it enough), going outside, dada, ada, mama, lila, & DUlia (not in that order), pulling hair, brushing his teeth. He talks all the time, and points. I remember thinking that boys talk later than girls, but that is not the case. He can say a lot of words, and imitates many of the things that we say, but it's a family joke that his favorites (BY FAR) are "uh-oh", "mo" (more), "Buh-Bye", "wa-wa", "monk-monk" and "Dulia!". Actually every word he says has an exclamation point behind it. He knows what he wants and isn't afraid to go after it with all the weight of his body. He turns into a loose noodle to fall through your arms and through a tantrum on the floor (usually pretty short lived if you just walk away). But man, sometimes you shut the bathroom door or take away his tooth brush and he'll cry like he just lost his best friend. His big sad eyes and open mouth cry, always make me smile and scoop him up for a cuddle hug.
Jeez, it's been so long since I blogged, I could write a full and funny blog on each of those loves alone.
He is just now getting his 5th tooth, on the top, just to the left (as you look at him) of his too middles. He gnaws on everything like a beaver, so many of our perfectly kept board books from Lily and Addie have the bindings chewed to shreds by this book loving fool.
Favorite Foods: Bananas ("nana"), ground turkey meatballs, chicken chili, carrots, peas, raisins, blueberries, toast, cheerios, Hot Dogs ("ought dog!"), water ("wawa" - I think he thinks all drinks are wawa), graham crackers. Who am I kidding trying to make a list of favorites? This kid will eat almost anything you put in front of him. He seems a little oatmeal and yogurt-ed out, but I think that's just because he prefers to feed himself - and he ate A LOT of both of those in the months before and after his first bday. He likes to try and use a spoon and fork, but gets frustrated when he can't get the food into his mouth. Putting him in a high chair means the rest of the family goes into high gear getting things done, like emptying the dishwasher and opening the pantry, things that he does not allow for when on the loose.
I DO mean, on the loose, he is a maniac. Into everything, climbs everything, destroys everything. He's a lot like Lily was, so I guess I'm still not buying the boy vs girl thing, but I know that lots of people told us that baby Lily was a lot more boy than girl in her tendencies. The only difference was there was only one of her to contain. So for Bryson, we try very hard not to tell the girls the reason they can't play the games or beads or blocks or anything they want during his waking hours is because of their trouble making little brother. But, they sort of know. When we are doing a puzzle or playing a game, Addie will let out a sigh of dispair when he wakes up, knowing it is the end of her fun.
Little People is a family favorite because we can all play with them, make a city, ride buses, helicopters, car washes, but the girls still get mad because they like to set up their scenes just so and get their guys in line for a bus, but Bryson has other ideas for their people. We do our best to divide and conquer and rope off areas of the house for them to have some space from the littlest member of the house.
All in all, Lily still REALLY loves Bryson, Addie's still kind of on the fence about him. It's more of a love hate, she is still really rough with him and usually does pretty mean things to him. To be the adult in the house with just the two of them, is the hardest dynamic. All three is better than just the two. Addie just cannot stay off of him, and if you distract one of them they both want in on it. If you hold one of them the other comes and headbutts or pulls the other's hair. It's awesome. When they do get along (like they did in the bath last night. It is GREAT. I hope it's a sign of things to come. At this age, Lily loved Addie more than anything on this planet, so it's tough that 15 months later, Addie could still do without her brother. We keeps warning her that she better be nicer. He is only one pound less than her, and once he is a little more steady on his feet, he will CRUSH her! And we might let him:)
He's taking 2 naps a day some days, 1 nap other days. He drinks one bottle of whole milk before bed, warmed, even though he doesn't need it. I stopped nursing him at the end of January and I still like that before bed cuddle that he comes with a warm bottle of milk. He talks himself to bed, mostly pretty easily after that, with a sleep sack and a cuddle with his "monk-monk".
As for me, things haven't been easy, I just can't seem to get a grip on all the overwhelming responsibilities I have, all that I want to be and do, and do so in a good mental space. But I'm working hard on many fronts to be happy and present with my little guy. With all my little guys. These kissable cheeks sure makes it darn hard to stay down. His many faces, his many moods, his funny quirks. His infectious energy, and wonderful hugs (turned headbutts)....I could not love him more.
His newest love is Mickey Mouse, he says "Mick Mow" and it is probably the cutest thing my ears have ever heard. I handed him a plate shaped like Mickey last night for dinner and he held it and stared at it with a beaming smile. We also went through a hand me down bag of clothes from a friend and found Mickey Mouse pj shirt. Wow. He couldn't have been more excited and has worn it for the last two nights. He got mad when I put his sleep sack on because he couldn't see his Mick Mow anymore.
Other loves, Elmo ("Emmo") & Donald Duck ("Duck Duck") & Thomas ("Mum-as").
He loves running up the stairs, slamming doors and gates, EATING, bonking his forehead on things, giving hugs, getting the broom out of the pantry and finding my full cups of coffee on the counters edge with the handle, reading books, eating books, his monk-monk, pushing buttons on toys that make noise, over and over, music, dancing, hugging soft things (so hard in fact sometimes he needs to lay his body on the couch, chair or floor to hug it enough), going outside, dada, ada, mama, lila, & DUlia (not in that order), pulling hair, brushing his teeth. He talks all the time, and points. I remember thinking that boys talk later than girls, but that is not the case. He can say a lot of words, and imitates many of the things that we say, but it's a family joke that his favorites (BY FAR) are "uh-oh", "mo" (more), "Buh-Bye", "wa-wa", "monk-monk" and "Dulia!". Actually every word he says has an exclamation point behind it. He knows what he wants and isn't afraid to go after it with all the weight of his body. He turns into a loose noodle to fall through your arms and through a tantrum on the floor (usually pretty short lived if you just walk away). But man, sometimes you shut the bathroom door or take away his tooth brush and he'll cry like he just lost his best friend. His big sad eyes and open mouth cry, always make me smile and scoop him up for a cuddle hug.
Jeez, it's been so long since I blogged, I could write a full and funny blog on each of those loves alone.
He is just now getting his 5th tooth, on the top, just to the left (as you look at him) of his too middles. He gnaws on everything like a beaver, so many of our perfectly kept board books from Lily and Addie have the bindings chewed to shreds by this book loving fool.
Favorite Foods: Bananas ("nana"), ground turkey meatballs, chicken chili, carrots, peas, raisins, blueberries, toast, cheerios, Hot Dogs ("ought dog!"), water ("wawa" - I think he thinks all drinks are wawa), graham crackers. Who am I kidding trying to make a list of favorites? This kid will eat almost anything you put in front of him. He seems a little oatmeal and yogurt-ed out, but I think that's just because he prefers to feed himself - and he ate A LOT of both of those in the months before and after his first bday. He likes to try and use a spoon and fork, but gets frustrated when he can't get the food into his mouth. Putting him in a high chair means the rest of the family goes into high gear getting things done, like emptying the dishwasher and opening the pantry, things that he does not allow for when on the loose.
I DO mean, on the loose, he is a maniac. Into everything, climbs everything, destroys everything. He's a lot like Lily was, so I guess I'm still not buying the boy vs girl thing, but I know that lots of people told us that baby Lily was a lot more boy than girl in her tendencies. The only difference was there was only one of her to contain. So for Bryson, we try very hard not to tell the girls the reason they can't play the games or beads or blocks or anything they want during his waking hours is because of their trouble making little brother. But, they sort of know. When we are doing a puzzle or playing a game, Addie will let out a sigh of dispair when he wakes up, knowing it is the end of her fun.
Little People is a family favorite because we can all play with them, make a city, ride buses, helicopters, car washes, but the girls still get mad because they like to set up their scenes just so and get their guys in line for a bus, but Bryson has other ideas for their people. We do our best to divide and conquer and rope off areas of the house for them to have some space from the littlest member of the house.
All in all, Lily still REALLY loves Bryson, Addie's still kind of on the fence about him. It's more of a love hate, she is still really rough with him and usually does pretty mean things to him. To be the adult in the house with just the two of them, is the hardest dynamic. All three is better than just the two. Addie just cannot stay off of him, and if you distract one of them they both want in on it. If you hold one of them the other comes and headbutts or pulls the other's hair. It's awesome. When they do get along (like they did in the bath last night. It is GREAT. I hope it's a sign of things to come. At this age, Lily loved Addie more than anything on this planet, so it's tough that 15 months later, Addie could still do without her brother. We keeps warning her that she better be nicer. He is only one pound less than her, and once he is a little more steady on his feet, he will CRUSH her! And we might let him:)
He's taking 2 naps a day some days, 1 nap other days. He drinks one bottle of whole milk before bed, warmed, even though he doesn't need it. I stopped nursing him at the end of January and I still like that before bed cuddle that he comes with a warm bottle of milk. He talks himself to bed, mostly pretty easily after that, with a sleep sack and a cuddle with his "monk-monk".
As for me, things haven't been easy, I just can't seem to get a grip on all the overwhelming responsibilities I have, all that I want to be and do, and do so in a good mental space. But I'm working hard on many fronts to be happy and present with my little guy. With all my little guys. These kissable cheeks sure makes it darn hard to stay down. His many faces, his many moods, his funny quirks. His infectious energy, and wonderful hugs (turned headbutts)....I could not love him more.
Muah. I love you buddy!
I can't believe he is 15 months old. Be still, my heart.
Wednesday, February 9, 2011
Julia's pictures of beauty
Here are a few great shots that Julia has taken of the kids recently. Plus a few she took while skiing with Lily and Lawrence on Mount Hood, using her new photography skills from the class she is taking.
You guys, these are taken with a point and shoot!
Loving it.
Tuesday, January 18, 2011
FAQ MIA
Yes, I'm still here. Yes I do realize how long it has been since I've written a blog. Things are. Hard. Busy. Good.
It's been a matter of priority and survival lately. Maybe that sounds dramatic, but that's how I feel.
Christmas was awesome, my mom came, it was wonderful. New Year's Eve was fun too. We had a game night with our friends and then a family sleep over.
I have a million and ten pictures from the last month.
But I'm depleted, I'm empty, blah. I'm not freaking out over the impossible cart of responsibilities in front of me. Instead I just feel blah. Honestly, I'm not sure if that is a good thing or a bad thing. I've made the comment to a few friends that I actually kind of prefer the blahness that I've been feeling because it is SO much better than the frazzley stressed out anxiety feeling.
Work is hard. Home is hard. Kids are hard. Marriage is hard. All of it is good and worth it and bring blessings upon blessing. I wouldn't trade my life for anything, because I do love it. I know that sounds like a typical canned response, but it's not. However, it's hard not to get lost in the day to day duties, and if I am able to get up for some air, a quick refresh button. It lasts for such a short amount of time. My flame is extinguished so quickly. Every action seems to have a consequence and I go days at a time wondering if I did anything right. Wondering if I made a difference at all, or if I'm just existing to make it through the workload of another day.
And yet, life IS good.
Sometimes, you just aren't inspired to write about it or document it. Or when you are, you don't have the time or the energy to make it a priority.
I've been really trying to stay off the computer at home. This leads to no pictures and no blogs.
That's where I'm at.
The good news is I do have a few VERY organized friends who just posted on their fall and HALLOWEEN. Thank you friends, you make me feel like I'm ahead of the game. That there is hope that I can back in to this thing.
I don't know what I need to get out of my funk, but maybe you could write a comment, tell me a funny story, or maybe you could remind me of something I'm doing right. Because I left a picture of myself on my blog for a month. A hilarious picture where my glasses are bigger than my face. And I got four comments. LOTS of emails asking where my blog was, lots of mentions of missing blog posts. But it's hard to remember that anyone even reads, notices, or cares. Until I stop writing, then I get an overwhelming number of reminders of something else I'm falling short on. And that kind of sucks. Can you see why?
I've debated even posting this. Worried that I won't get back to this for another month, and worried that this will be the post left here. Worried that someone who emailed me about why I haven't blogged would be insulted or think that I was upset with them. To get four comments about a blog that was and 47 emails about a blog that wasn't - isn't very motivating. It wasn't anyone in particular who mentioned it. I know most of you emailed me out of worry for me, not worry for my blog, knowing that I've never gone so long with out blogging.
Sometimes when I feel blocked, blah, disconnected, like I'm unraveling, writing helps. So I'm giving that a try.
To ensure that it sticks, that funny story or encouraging word would be really great right about now.
I've kicked off the good juices with this picture of Bryson's hand...(thanks Christina Gilchrist for sending it to me!)
Wednesday, December 22, 2010
Wordless Wednesday - Christmas Card 1984
Yeah, and you thought I was exaggerating about the glasses?
Um, no.
Um, no.
The Photo That Went In My Mom's Christmas Card
circa November 1984
Jenny 8 years, Matt 7 months
circa November 1984
Jenny 8 years, Matt 7 months
Tuesday, December 21, 2010
The Lily Craft Making Christmas Show
I could seriously watch this video 100 times over. It makes me laugh SO hard.
Lily got a new camera for her birthday. It has a video mode. She is so taken with the video feature. I guess it reminds me of what I did laying around on my tummy propped by my elbows, with a tape recorder, pressing play and record at the same time and making commercials, talk shows, learning that if you clap in a circle around the recorder, then it sounds like audience applause. Singing and playing it back to myself. Putting it up next to the tv to get Saturday morning cartoon theme songs. JOY.
So kids these days can do it with VIDEO. I can't imagine what I would have done with this technology, but it definitely would probably be similar to what Lily does in her one hour of quiet time per day. She is in there crafting up gifts to clutter under the tree, comes down daily with a new handful wrapped and ready. When she was three, she did this too. She'd wrap up post it notes or old business cards for any and everyone to open. And you tried not to laugh when you opened yours. But now, at 6, she's getting better. Her gifts (although always 3D and impossible to store in a useful fashion) are well thought-out and orchestrated.
The night before Bryson's birthday party she asked me to charge the batteries and empty her card so that she would be all set to record him destroying his cake. WELL. Let me tell you, I was in for a treat. I laughed until I cried watching the videos that she had made on there.
As you will see she has adopted a theme much like a cooking show (which is one of her favorite things to watch on TV), where she shows you what she'll be using and talks to her camera like she has an audience of faithful viewers. Had to make that happen for her. So thanks Blogosphere.
Disclaimer: I got Lily's full permission to post these videos to my blog. However, she asked me to wait until after Christmas to do that, because she doesn't want the people who she is making the gifts FOR to see the video of her making said gifts. So Julia, please don't watch these videos, lest you spoil the Christmas surprise for yourself! :)
Hear that Julia, if you are reading STOP now. Come back on Dec 26!
I love how she fills in the dead air, and how she KNOWS exactly where she is with the camera, and how she says she is getting it "focused" (she is getting a little mini tripod for Christmas which she will LOVE).
There are so MANY things to love, I could add an add.
Okay, I was only going to post this first video, but she she refers to this second one so I HAD to include it. It's more of the same, but it makes me laugh so hard.
"Sorry it was quiet at the beginning, I was getting the video set up"
"Snippity Snip"
What is your favorite part?
Lily got a new camera for her birthday. It has a video mode. She is so taken with the video feature. I guess it reminds me of what I did laying around on my tummy propped by my elbows, with a tape recorder, pressing play and record at the same time and making commercials, talk shows, learning that if you clap in a circle around the recorder, then it sounds like audience applause. Singing and playing it back to myself. Putting it up next to the tv to get Saturday morning cartoon theme songs. JOY.
So kids these days can do it with VIDEO. I can't imagine what I would have done with this technology, but it definitely would probably be similar to what Lily does in her one hour of quiet time per day. She is in there crafting up gifts to clutter under the tree, comes down daily with a new handful wrapped and ready. When she was three, she did this too. She'd wrap up post it notes or old business cards for any and everyone to open. And you tried not to laugh when you opened yours. But now, at 6, she's getting better. Her gifts (although always 3D and impossible to store in a useful fashion) are well thought-out and orchestrated.
The night before Bryson's birthday party she asked me to charge the batteries and empty her card so that she would be all set to record him destroying his cake. WELL. Let me tell you, I was in for a treat. I laughed until I cried watching the videos that she had made on there.
As you will see she has adopted a theme much like a cooking show (which is one of her favorite things to watch on TV), where she shows you what she'll be using and talks to her camera like she has an audience of faithful viewers. Had to make that happen for her. So thanks Blogosphere.
Disclaimer: I got Lily's full permission to post these videos to my blog. However, she asked me to wait until after Christmas to do that, because she doesn't want the people who she is making the gifts FOR to see the video of her making said gifts. So Julia, please don't watch these videos, lest you spoil the Christmas surprise for yourself! :)
Hear that Julia, if you are reading STOP now. Come back on Dec 26!
I love how she fills in the dead air, and how she KNOWS exactly where she is with the camera, and how she says she is getting it "focused" (she is getting a little mini tripod for Christmas which she will LOVE).
There are so MANY things to love, I could add an add.
Okay, I was only going to post this first video, but she she refers to this second one so I HAD to include it. It's more of the same, but it makes me laugh so hard.
"Sorry it was quiet at the beginning, I was getting the video set up"
"Snippity Snip"
What is your favorite part?
Monday, December 20, 2010
Kicking off the week of Christmas
I'm going to attempt to do a Christmas related blog all week. We'll see. Usually when I try to kick something off, I announce it to the world and then queue cricket noises for the next week. But I'm gonna try. Because there is a LOT of good stuff to blog about. Not the least of which is this coffee complete with it's candy-cane-mocha-french-vanilla-sweetie-grossie-creamer. YUM. Tastes so good with my 5 hrs of sleep!
It's hard to imagine that LAST year, we were still waiting for Bryson when I mailed out our cards. He was kind of in our card, in the cutest way ever, in my opinion.
MAN! I was so on the BALL last year. The week of Christmas was the most peaceful, non-busy week ever! Gifts and tree bought a month in advance, cards mailed, no work or worry of the 4 million dollars left in orders left to process in the week before year end. No thoughts of an impending audit. Just porn star bleeding nipples and up all night wake up calls with my sweet newborn. Ahhh, but that was last year, snap back out of dream world, Jenny. You are flat now. Heh. Well, almost. Hey, it's it weird how you get on to blog your family Christmas card and you end up talking about your boobs. Okay so maybe this candy-cane-mocha-french-vanilla-sweetie-grossie-creamer is getting to me. Or maybe it is the 5 hrs of sleep. Why did we go to bed so late every night this weekend? I mean, I don't remember accomplishing anything. Crap. Maybe I will be horrified later that I said boobs on my blog. I don't know. Probably not, I mean, they are just boobs. Barely. I guess we'll find out. I forever love to compare year to year and sometimes I'm funny, sometimes I'm weird. I'm guessing this blog will fall into the funny category, but you just never know. (eyeroll, who is the weird girl?)
Oh, and disclaimer. My card was created by Sara at Less Ordinary Designs. I found her on Etsy, she did my friend, Shawna's baby announcement for me. She was so awesome to work with and for $15, really, who can beat that, I used her again for our card this year. She did one million revisions for me and treated me like I was totally NOT annoying. Photos were taken by the photographer from Bend who took our pictures in Sunriver, Devin Miller. If you haven't used Etsy to create holiday cards I strongly recommend it. It is so cheap and easy, and you can get some really cool designs that are customizable pretty much any way you want!
Without further ado, I'm off to work, and the first of 4 super duper busy days before 6 days off! YAY!
Happy Holidays from The Herman Family and Julia! We wish you the best!
Thursday, December 16, 2010
Sorry, but my 3 year old is FUNNY
Addie wakes me up by crawling into bed with me WAY too early and spooning, facing me, and then starts talking about something random at full volume.
And that, my friends, is the best way to wake up ever.
Addie: (sniff sniff right in my face) Mommy, did you toot?
Me: (Surprised, awake, annoyed, turning away) No, Addie that's probably my breath...
Addie: (after a few minutes of consideration) Why yo breat mell like toots?
And that, my friends, is the best way to wake up ever.
Wednesday, December 15, 2010
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