Sunday Anniversary

On Sunday we went to Jeremy and Jennifer Ornelas's house for breakfast. It was their wedding anniversary and they invited us over. Lawrence, who is training for Hood to Coast, ran from our house to theirs and met me and the girls there. (He almost beat us, and was happy to run down the hill and not have to run back up!) We had a great day, ended up hanging out most of the day and every one napped (and quiet timed) while moms and dads hung out. We ended up having lunch together, going to the park, and then decided, what the heck, let's make dinner together too!
We went to Jack park near their house and had a lot of fun. We played soccer, sort of, it could have also been classified as keep-a-way or fetch. Everyone had fun chasing the ball. Especially Lily, she is FAST. Addie was a pretty good kicker in her rain boots, which are still over a size too big. She loves them though. We also played a little basket ball, mommy definitely should NOT be teaching that! :)

Don't mind the man who blinks. That's just what he does. It's fine, you know, pictures where both girls are looking and smiling are totally easy to come by, we understand that it's very difficult for an adult to simply keep his eyes open...

Addie climbing up the ladder for the 100th time! So determined. She has her run of the play ground now and can get pretty much anywhere she sets her mind to. Addie kept taking her boots off at the top of the slide then letting each of them slide down for their turn then she'd go. It was funny, we had a 3 man assembly line of getting the kids up and down the slide (including getting Addie back into her boots each time!)
I love this smile! Lily was so happy and well behaved the whole day. She had missed Lucy, and they had a lot of fun (mixed in with a little tattling - to which we usually answered, "do you want to get your friend in trouble and get her a time out? No? Better go try and work it out yourself...and then they did.) Lily also got to see Pinnochio at Lucy's. She only knew it was a book up until now. A favorite book, so finding out it was a movie was a super surprise.
Lily and Lucy swinging together! They love this swing. Swinging was making mommies and daddies motion sick, reminding us of how OLD we are getting. Imagine what we'd do on the Zipper now when we can be pushed too high on a SWING! :(

Addie says Bailee, "Ba-bee" and it is very sweet. Mostly they are trying to get in on what the big girls have going but the little girls are starting to play together a little. Especially when they are in kahoots to get the bigs. Addie is getting very verbal and will repeat most anything you say.

Happy Anniversary Ornelas's! Six years later! :)

Ritter visit

On Saturday we went down to Salem (about an hour away) to visit our good friends, the Ritters. Jason is a high school friend of mine, and he and his wife, Jessica have 4 children. Kaden, Ivy, Isaac, and Jonathon. It's a busy life, but they love it. Isaac about 3 weeks younger than Addie, and we hadn't met him or his younger brother...it has been far too long. That's the great thing about good friends though, even when you don't see them for over 2 years, you just pick back up and enjoy each other's company. It was exactly 1 hour door to door and so we kept laughing that we had somehow let it all go so long.
Lily trying to get Addie and Issac to pose together, they weren't in the mood. Good try Lil! Addie loved being in the mix of all the other kids. We decided we would leave around 1 when she would probably start falling apart and needing a nap. Nope. At 3pm when we finally packed it up, she was happy as a clam. Then we thought she'd nap in the car on the ride home. Nope, happily talked and played the whole way and napped at 4:00-5:00 when we got home! This kid does not sleep in the car, it's odd.

Me and Jay, a lifelong friend! I didn't know we were supposed to be sucking in our cheeks in the photo below, but thought for sure Jay would want it posted to show how skinny he really is! :) hehe.
We were impressed that Lily knew that Salem was the capital of Oregon, then she told us the capital of :Paaainsilvania" was "Haaaaaairisberg". (THANKS to Tamara) She wanted to know where the water was in Salem to go Sail 'Em. That made us LOL for a while! :)
(L to R) Jonathon, Kaden, Lily, Ivy, Isaac, & Addie - the treasure of kids on couch w bare feet pics!

Ivy is about a year younger than Lily, but I knew they would be good friends. They have the same fun personalities, strong willed and rule-reciting-rule-following and sweet and lovable and HELPFUL. Ivy will certainly be added to Lily's list of BFFs. Especially if we make an effort to see each other again before 2 more years sweeps us by.

We teased them that they always have double the kids of us. When we had Lily, they had Kaden and Ivy, when we see them next, we have 2, they have 4! So when we have another one, they better gear up for twins! :) Haha, not gonna happen! Well not yet. Their plate is full to the brim right now, and mamas not getting much sleep. But no complaints, just a lot of love over the all the joys of a big family and all the benefits that are to come in the future. Kaden will go to Kindergarten this year, so Lily is right in the middle of him and Ivy. We barely heard from these 2 the entire day. There is something to be said for a house where the kids behave and the layout is such, that all kids are free to roam with no dangers to themselves or the house! The whole way home Lily talked about all the fun she and Ivy had, and she was so sad to leave.

Such a beautiful family and wonderful friends, I certainly left that day with a very happy heart! :)

What I've become.

Some times as a mother you have the hardest time dealing with yourself - at the reality of becoming what you promised you would "never become". It is your past self criticizing your current self. I think about this all the time, how my past self doesn't know $h*t! :)

My friend, Carrie's blog is TOO good this morning, I just had to share!

On another note. I'm SUPER excited to go see Dooce's book reading!

dooce.com

She wrote this.

It's my hell week at work, tomorrow is the quarterly closing, so I'll be missing a few bedtimes and become out of balance like I always do at the end of a quarter/beginning of the next, but I'm excited to take Friday off work because Lawrence's brother, mom, and nephew are coming in from NJ for two days!

Blog about our fun filled weekend, complete with awesome pictures to come!

What I did today

Have I really reduced my blogging to what I did today? I hope not. Well maybe. If I try to think about all the interesting things I have to write about, I just get overwhelmed and don't write. I have a list a mile long of great things the kids are doing, and about the au pair interviews I've been doing and deep thoughts of marriage and friendship and sacrafice. But I won't write about those things. Not tonight. Maybe tomorrow. Maybe. So here's what's new.

The last couple of weeks I have been very dedicated to working out and eating well. I have less than 10 more pounds to lose before I will feel really good (not to mention have a whole new wardrobe...you know...the one already in my closet). The problem is, I now SEE why I hadn't been getting to it. Here I was, back in January, thinking that I was so lazy for not eating right and working out. Thinking that my "baby" is turning two in 3 months and I'm still hangin' on to 25 lbs of extra "baby" weight.

The truth is. I don't know how people do this. The gym that is. I can give up ice cream and beer and junk food. I can walk occassionally, and do a few 20 minute power sessions on the bike during my lunch hour. But after gyming it for 2 weeks, every day, I feel great, I'm looking great. BUT it takes up the entire evening. This is my schedule every day for two weeks.

Get home from work - 6pm
Eat dinner (usually by myself, standing and playing with the kids because the rest of the family has already eaten)
Change into work out clothes
Play with the girls - read books, settling down time
Put Addie to bed
Play with Lily
Put Lily to bed (from the first step to here I'm lucky if I have an hour!)
Kiss Lawrence hello and goodbye
Go to the Gym for an hour plus 15 minutes each way commute time (unless I'm in the garage then I get back that half hour)
Come home
Shower
Blow dry
Computer, Unwind
Everyone is asleep but me...and here is is 12:02AM. Why the heck am I doing blogging? I don't know.

What I do know is I feel better than I have in a long time, but I haven't talked to Lawrence for 2 weeks! YIKES. Sure we talk on the phone and chat during kid time, but that's it. He is so supportive of my going to the gym. I guess he likes a firm caboose. But whatever, I can't imagine this being a long term thing. A "lifestyle" change. The way it needs to be to have a healthy life. I haven't done a dish all week or cooked a meal (oh I know, poor me). I'm just pointing out, again, that this would never fly as a "lifestyle" change.

The reason I'm going to the gym is because I went "try" 24 hour fitness where my friend Carrie goes. We were going to be work out buddies for 2 weeks to get a jump start. I called and they gave me 14 days free. I have a gym on the second floor of my building at work, so I won't pay for a membership. We also have a treadmill and bowflex in the garage, so again, not forking over $50 a month to 24HR.

I am jump started, so mission accomplished. I'm fine, I'm happy with my results, and I have another week to go. I've been sticking to it. Even before I did this I was doing the garage and lunch hour work outs for a while, really sticking to it, those are a little more sustainable than the actual gym, but still. I guess I just feel a little discouraged about how hard this will actually be, long term. It's something I really want but it takes SO.MUCH.TIME. And energy. No wonder it isn't possible while breast feeding. I'm sorry, but it's just NOT.

And then the idea of a someday 3rd baby and the associated baby weight. Ick. Do it all again? Can I? Yes. Will I? Yes. Ick? Yes.

Because as much as I pretend that I'm gonna be that girl, the one at the gym on the elliptical who is 8 month pg who is really "all belly". Who stuck with it through her whole pregnancy. I'm not. I lie and tell myself, next time, but no, that's just not true. Fatigue and nausea sets in and then 8 months later I've gone on 3 walks, 5 fitness classes and I'm +45 lbs. That's the truth. So I guess I'll just be glad for getting back in shape in between. Enjoy fitting into clothes until we make the next leap. And when we do, I'll be grateful if I am blessed someday with another pregnancy. And I'll remember to be thankful that I get to carry a baby to term, and then, *sigh* even remember that the +45 and the ability to then lose that 2 years later is yet another gift.

A very HEAVY gift that always feels likes it's wrapped a little too tight...

Backed up

I have a backlog of posts that you can’t imagine… I write many of them when I’m showering, driving, or trying to fall asleep. My mental blogging life is much more productive than my actual blogging life...

This precious generation.

This morning I found out that Lawrence's Great Aunt passed away. Even though I have never met her I felt very sad when I heard the news, the threat of tears stinging my eyes. The lump in my throat hasn't gone away. Perhaps it is deep and genuine sadness I feel for Carol, my mother-in-law and her loss, perhaps it is thinking about the pain that Betty's children and grandchildren are feeling right now, and perhaps it is the realization that there are fewer of my grandparents generation each day. This precious generation.

In any case, I wanted to write that I am sorry for those that are hurting over the loss of their loved one, Betty Berkowitz, and in my sadness I thought, for a woman who lived as long as she did with lots of stories left to tell, someone should dedicate their blog to her today.

Reminding us all to appreciate our loved ones, don't sweat the small stuff, and to take each day with our elders as a true gift.

This one is for you, Aunt Betty, may you rest in peace, may comfort be with your loved ones, and may your sore, aged, parkinson's body now feel free of pain and young again.

Photography photo contest - please vote!

I'm posting this again, because it would really mean a lot if each of you who reads this votes.

This is a photography contest that, Joe Whittle, a friend of mine in Jr. High/High School, who went to Brooks College is part of. He needs to be in the top 20 to be considered in winning his dream project and is currently ranked 29. He lives in Joseph. Please vote for him. You have to log in to vote, so no one can vote twice, but it only takes a second and it would mean a lot to him! It also sounds like a very interesting and worthwhile project. To Vote after you have logged in, click on "Pic This" in the yellow box in the upper left hand corner. They don't spam you. Do it today, there are only a few days left.

http://www.nameyourdreamassignment.com/the-ideas/JoeWhittle/journey-to-the-ends-of-the-earth-stories-of-the-conflict-between-colonial-and-indigenous-cultures/

Ski bunny

L

Lawrence took Lily skiing on Saturday and she did great. They had a wonderful time.
Here is some footage of Lily going down the hill...

Addie and I hung at home and had a nice walk at the Nature park with the Rose Family. They are expecting a baby in August and found out it is a boy! They are really excited to add another boy to their family of 3 girls and 1 boy!

Lawrence and Lily even accidentally went down a "blue" (intermediate) run because she went the wrong way when they got off the lift. He has a harness and reigns to hold on to her on the way down, but they got tangled and he let go and she went over a part that he couldn't get to her very fast. I guess she went over a little drop where Lawr couldn't see her for a minute, and another guy looked back for someone coming for her, and yelled to Lawrence, she just hit a tree. Apparently it was only a waist high tree, but I didn't get that from the excited voice mail she left me about it (which I've considered transcripting here b/c it is funny NOW). Anyway, they had a great time, she is a pretty good skiier now and she loved telling me about each and everything.

Funny things:

Explanation of skiiers vs snowboarders and how you have to stand on the "magic carpet".

Getting an itch on her bottom and punching it through her snow suit trying to get to it.

Excitement over her first donut and an oatmeal cookie at the mountain.

I want to post another video, but too tired tonight. I'll do it later, check back.

Nice Hair

Lily at 4 months!




















Addie at 20 months!


Any Questions?

Oh.

When you tellAddie something, or more often, tell her not to do something, she typically has 3 possible answers.

1. Ah ayah ayuh (think whin-eeeeey, but not really crying, more of a yell)
2. No
3. Oh

Oh is by far the best. It is actually music to my ears, a relief of an answers. There is nothing more to say! :)

Examples:
Addie: Poo-Poo (pointing to her diaper while I rock her before bed)
Me: No Addie, it's night night time, you don't need to go Poo-Poo
Addie: Oh

or

Me: Addie, stop putting your fingers in there, they are going to get smashed
A: Oh

or

Addie: (trying to put her "panties"/diaper cover under her tights, struggling) groan
Me: Addie, you put your tights under the panties
Addie: Oh

Addie: (Points at the TV) Elmo
Me: Nope, no Elmo
Addie: Peeeeeeese Mama
Me: Honey, Elmo isn't on right now
Addie: Oh

It's like she understands and accepts whatever it is that I'm telling her. And she stops. Like she wanted to see how the world was gonna work and I tell her something, anything, and now she knows.

Oh.

I wish it was that easy. And I love that it sometimes is.

Oh the many things...

There are to blog about...but here are just 2 for today. I'm feeling a little deep...

First off, Happy Happy Birthday to my friend Carrie. The sun even came out in her honor since she is cranky and depressed during the rainy Portland winter. The bad news is that the forecast USED to be for rain all week until tomorrow, then 3 days of sun. Well now it has today being nice (for dear Carrie of course) and now the next freaking 9 days are rainy. Why, oh why, sun did you even tease us with your 60 degrees last Friday. With all that said, I'm still glad Carrie got some sunshine on her bday because she deserved it, it has been a crappy week for her and no matter where she turns she gets more bad news about something AND she pulled her neck like the "old (31-year-old) lady" that she now is while putting on a scarf this morning. Why was she wearing a scarf on a sunny day such as today, not sure. Maybe because she leaves when it is still dark out for work and she assumed since it is Portland, it would be another rainy day.

The second thing (totally unrelated to Carrie's bday) has been weighing on my mind as I search for good decisions in my family and I feel the criticism bug lurking around. It floats around friends and family, it noses in friendly warnings or unsolicited advice. It floats out of my mouth as I pat myself on the back for doing some things right. But, mostly, it's eating me up, because it's wrong and unfair.

This is for the fellow moms....

We've got to stop... Seriously we are like cannibals, eating and terrorizing our own. You know what I mean, we are so. damn. hard on each other. And it has become so second nature.

We think everyone who does not want to do things the way we do them are crazy. The new definition of "she is crazy" is : I could not do what she is doing or I do not want to do what she is doing. Do not call her crazy. It is not fair. She is not crazy for doing what you do not want to do.

And I'm talking about the biggies and the little things, like going back to work, breast feeding, having more children, having less children, hired help around the house, date nights, faith choice, tv channel choice, child care choice, public education, home school, breast feeding a longer time, breast feeding a shorter time, going on vacation without your kids, going on vacation with your kids, making time to exercise, money spent, new cars, new houses, new sweaters...I could go on and on. We can't give each other a break? Are we so insecure that we have to insanely think that other people's choices won't work for them? And that they are better or worse mother's because of it? That our way is the only way when it is barely working out for us?

As women, as mothers, we are only making it harder for us: women and mothers. And, we mustn't forget, that these same things that we ridicule other women for doing, we could find as our own methods under different circumstances. Half of it we might already have going on in our own homes and we are too arrogant to notice. So quick to point the finger at other people's shortcomings. We are. And I mean me too.

The truth is, we are all barely hanging on by a thread, and I don't care if you stay at home with one child or work outside the home with five children. We all want the same thing, to be good wives and mothers, have happy, healthy, well adjusted children, who don't have the same insecurities and worries we had as children. We are all doing the very best we know how to do. We are already too hard on ourselves as individuals, it's time to ease up on ourselves and ease up on the other women out there, the ones in our life and the ones who aren't.

The gift of friends and mothers is that we can be in this together, we can be such a resource and support system for each other, but please don't judge my choices and I will do my best not to judge yours. Your way needs to work for you, your husband, and your children, and that's all that matters. Nothing feels better than pure honesty and safety with your truths when you are struggling and you know that you aren't in it alone. (Well I guess it does feel better not to be struggling at all, but that doesn't come around quite as often). So let's remember that in our conversations and in our thoughts as we try to be a little more compassionate with each other. I encourage you as I remind myself to be kind with your judgment because everyone is fighting a hard battle.

20 minutes of sun

Rain rain go away....

This time of year in Portland, you just don't know WHAT the weather is going to do. Seriously last week it snowed on Monday and was 60 on Friday. Sideways rain all weekend. Yesterday the sun started shining and we took the change to go out for a walk/run. Lily is training for her Run for the Cheetah, half mile fun run at the end of April. We had such a blast. And I got the best impromptu pics of the girls. This one below of Lily and Addie wasn't posed, they were just hugging each other on their own. They are so sweet I want to eat them sometimes!

I was trying to get pictures of Addie running in her rain boots but it just didn't do justice. So I made the video below. You can hear he saying "cold" and "cheese". It was sunny, but still freezing and windy out. When she sees the camera she says "cheese" same with when she brushes her teeth! :)

If you want to see the collage bigger, just click on it. Get ready to laugh at the sight of Addie running in those boots...they are size 5 and a little too big, she has two pairs of socks on and tights, but she LOVES them. Teeny tiny feet, next to her sis who wears size 12! True to Portland form, it started a torrential down pour complete with black clouds and darkness about 3 minutes after we got home. But we did take advantage of our 20 minutes of sun and we laughed our heads off with the girls and got some exercise too. What a great life we have!

Waiting for Cohen

We went to a baby shower for our wonderful friends, Nichole and Rob, on Saturday night. Their friend's, Sean and Darcy, hosted it at their home and it was wonderful. Hands down the best baby shower I've been too. Men were invited to, so it was a little more of a party celebration rather than a shower, but they got showered with lots of great gifts and lots of love from their friends and family, and that's what it is all about!

Nic looked absolutely beautiful, she does have the glow. Her due date is April 28. She is smiley and her usual positive wonderful self. Rob is a cute proud daddy to be who still thinks he won't be changing any diapers, ha. Lawrence doesn't understand why men don't want to change diapers. He says it is the one part of parenting that is cut and dry. There is a beginning and an end, along with a sense of accomplishment, all within a relatively short period of time. There aren't that many things you can say that about in parenting! Josh and Shawna (and Rachel) came over to watch our kids for the evening while we went out and enjoyed some adult time (at a baby shower, how ironic!). Lawrence couldn't keep away from the yummy dessert table Darcy had set up. His eyes almost popped out of his head when he found a brownie on a stick.

I think Lawrence might have also got roped into doing Hood to Coast again this year as Rob's replacement. I told Rob not to stop training even if he doesn't do it. He said the sweetest thing, "I'm training for Cohen, not for Hood to Coast". Ahh. Lawrence said he was doing the same thing, that he didn't want his belly in the way when he bent down to put on snow boots. Good job dads, getting healthy for their babes! :)

These photos don't show the masses of people and love they had, there must have been 40-60 people there. It was a very fun night for a very fun couple.

Cohen Dean we can't wait to meet you little guy!

60 degrees on Friday!

On Friday it was 60 degrees here. It was so nice and warm and wonderful out. Oh, to not have to put coats on made life so much easier. This was just what I needed to get serious spring fever. Addie can finally use her new swing set without problem. Well, almost, shortly after this video she got her first fat bloody lip by standing on the bench swing facing Lily while it was swinging. We had afternoon snack outside and are really looking forward to spending a lot more time outside very soon.

Oh, Friday was also a WONDERFUL day because we finally sold that Explorer that has been for sale since last summer!! YAY! The girl came and met my mom at 7pm after lots of talking, coordinating, talking with the bank, with the insurance company, mom, Mandy, Joe, I was all talked out...but it is sold and officially out of our hair!
I have a few more videos to post, but it's taking forever to upload, and I've gotta get to bed!

Princess Tea Party

Lily and I went to a Princess Tea Party on Saturday at the church we have been attending. It was so much fun. Lawrence took Addie to the mall and we had all morning to do our hair in curlers and get all dolled up. We borrowed some dress up stuff (for both of us) from Lucy and her mom, and we were all decked out. Lily LOVED having her hair in curlers and was worried about the rain all weekend taking her curls away.

Our table was decorated with a Little Mermaid theme, and our centerpiece was a real fish. There were 4 moms and their 4 daughters at our table. My friend Tanya's friend Donna called me to invite Lily and I to her table and it was nice to be expected and welcomed.


There was a story for the girls, clips from Cinderella and Sleeping Beauty, and lots of dancing. Lily tasted Tea for the first time and didn't really like it, but was happy with her self for trying it. She also was really cute getting out there and dancing with some little girls and also waiting to be "let in" by a circle of dancing girls. It was interesting to see her out of her element and also sweet to see her get in there.

We had a small meltdown when we left (well it didn't feel so small at the time) regarding a mix up of accidentally thinking one of the decorations was a favor and Lily having to give something back. She was happy to do it, but then when we got to the door to leave she started to cry. We tried to get it worked out, but then she got mad about something else. So I was the mom holding the hand of the screaming princess in the rain to the car. Then I was the mom of the ungrateful girl who was yelling that she didn't get anything in the car. However, when she finally calmed down, she wanted to help me go get wrapping paper for Rob and Nichole's shower gift. Then she said she was sorry and that she didn't really want to leave. She's usually so grateful about every little sticker and piece of confetti, I was surprised by her behavior. But with the sugar and all the princess talk, maybe she was feeling entitled!

The message at the end hit home for me. Basically it was that we are all princesses in God's eyes, and as moms we often feel like Cinderella after the stepsisters have ripped her dress to shreds, but that God sees the beauty in our hearts and to him we are as beautiful as when she was going to the ball. For just a moment, my inner "princess", got teared up at the thought of how wonderful that is to think about.