Poor Griz

Tonight the University of Montana Grizzlies played in the National Championship in football. Alas, they lost. It got me to thinking about 1995 and one of my favorite days in Montana. They did win the Championship that year (Nearly impossible to believe that it has been 13 years since then, nearly). That whole year in fact was just incredible. My first apartment on 711 Palmer Street. Will and Dawn moved to Msla too, and were in the dorms. Griz Nat'l Championship. My first year single and in college, full of fun. It wasn't until the next year when I actually learned the rules to football, but I loved going to the games with my new roommates who made a big fun deal of it. In 1996 - My friend Aimee's dad was disabled and her parents had a skybox. Now when you go to school in Montana you learn to watch football in COLD weather. For example, this last week the Griz practiced for their title game in minus 5 weather. Walking across campus in minus 40 with wind chill was not uncommon a few times a winter. So parents with a sky box in Missoula was a major find! What's not to love when you are 19. Aimee's dad and his old men friend welcomed us with free warm food and free beer and the rules to football. Wait a minute! So you get four tries to go 10 yards? And that's that? Why oh why didn't someone try to explain that to me earlier than on the verge of my 20th birthday?!?!? No wonder it was no fun to watch guys smashing into each other not going anywhere hearing long division or multiplication or whatever other numbers were flying- 1st and 10, 2nd and 4, 3rd and 15! The first number is the try they are on out of 4 and the second number is how many yard to go to get another try? That is HONESTLY incredible, what a great game.

All my girlfriends were diehard football fans. Loving whatever team there dad loved! So for Robin and Dawn that meant the Griz, hands down. Dawn also loved the Cowboys, Jeni Flynn loved the Broncos. At the time, I didn't know why I didn't love anybody, and I certainly didn't understand my roommates did.

It was this year-2008- during football season that I got it. I mean I knew that people, in general, became aligent fans with their dads, but I didn't know why. Until I saw Lily in Lawrence's nook on a cool but sunny September morning waiting for the Buckeye kickoff. She felt so important under the weight of his arm while he described who they should throw the ball to. She looked up at him with her eyes dancing with excitement as he included her in one of the most important things to him. As he burst with pride when she yelled O-H-I-O and she called red 'Scarlet' instead of red. That's why. That's why little girls love football. In the midst of a broken foot, and what I felt was a bit of a broken home (in my laid up opinion)...I got it. Their love was so indescribable.

Addie does the same thing for him, if only a touch. There's a touchdown and she does hands up, TOUCHDOWN. And he melts with the biggest and most beautiful smile on his face. She, too, will always watch football and think of her daddy with admiration, and love him as she roots his team on in later years.

College football Saturdays have become something I love love love at our house. Lawrence is so happy, we have friends over, he entertains, cooks, he is at his best. I eat, drink-coffee in the morning, a few beers in the evening--I can thank his dad for his love of sports. Some wives find it annoying to have sports fanatic husbands, but not me. I never worry if he'll find something to talk about with a newly met friend's husband. It's one of the few times outside of our family life where I see him truly passionate about something. He's extremely enjoyable to be around while sports are on. I can tell that he loves me more because I love him for it. And I do, and I'm not just saying that to try and be a cool wife. But it doesn't hurt that he things I am one for it, though.

He's definitely adopted the Griz since we met. He really loves them. He loves Old Griz. He loves Monte. He loves Missoula. He loves Paul Parsons. He knows the coach's name, and where he came from (Colorado I think), he knows how many rushing yards Reynolds averaged this season. His sports trivia in general is fantastic, really, uncanny.

Griz football, and seeing the stadium the last few weeks on ESPN has been very nostalgic for me. With both my girls getting free T-shirts from Monte's kids club. (Ordered by the loving husband) A few weeks ago, on TV, the sun started to set over Washington-Grizzly Stadium, and the field was partial sunny and partial shade. I could see the frosty breath of the fans. My stomach turned. In a good way. It was an incredible slash weird memory of being freezing cold in the stadium as the sun set and barely being able to see the field from the bright glare. And by the way, not having a CLUE what the rules were to this game. :)

Anyway, that's my ode to the Griz. Good try boys, even though you didn't win it's been fun getting to catch 6 games this year and one in person even. It's been fun for Lily to recognize our mascot and know that this is my team as opposed to thinking all football belonged to Lawrence. It was fun to take my friends to a game at PSU, and share something sports related that my husband and I really cared about together. It's interesting how a sports related post also turns to a good daddy/family post. There are moments in our life where I imagine myself as a little girl with a dad as great as Lawrence-what that would have been like for little girl Jenny, and it reminds me how lucky my little girls are. It's always so easy to recognize the things you aren't doing right, and unfortunately it's even easier to recognize the things you think that he isn't doing right. But how blessed we all are, and how important it is to realize it when you see things going very, very right. Those are the things I want to ingrain in my heart forever about the childhood of my babies.

(All pictures on this post are courtesy of our last visit to Missoula, Montana for homecoming in 2003.)

Good Morning

“Life is too short to wake up in

the morning with regrets, so love

the people who treat you right,

forget about the ones who don’t,

and believe that everything

happens for a reason. If you get a

chance, take it. If it changes

your life, let it. Nobody said

life would be easy, they just

promised it would be worth it"

*********************************
Thanks Laureen, what a wonderful sister in law I have who gave me a uplifting message to start the morning with. I'm sharing it with you!

Jenny [not so] Raw and UnTamed

When I was in high school, my friend Will and I made a video of us doing stupid stuff. It was originally a video we were making to send to our friend Courtney and then it took a turn somewhere. We videoed SO much crazy stuff on it, and then we watched it a hundred million more times. I finally got possession of it back after it spent a few years at UM with Will and then possibly a stint in Portland at the Troy house. It traveled well (much like Travis a doll from Soroptomist that Marjie found, Will bought, and I named...where is Travis now, who has him?)

Off the top of my head - highlights from the movie included: "Lyle the ghost""I'm fat""And it's your faulrt breakmaker"How so and so would react if they were scared""Judy going to Europe""Lemons"...oh the list goes on with other random SNL wannabe sketches.

I'm so much less fun and spontaneous than I used to be. In my heart I just don't feel the need to act crazy anymore. When I'm riding in the back of a Suburban full of drama nerds, I don't feel the need to growl at the gas attending while he is pumping gas, trying not to notice. I would find no validation in that now. Will jokes that he "invented" me. Well though he did not, he did love me for who I was at the time and he loved the things about me that I loved about myself. Not in spite of them, but because of them. I am the person I am because I had Will in my life at a crucial time. And boy was he in it. There were a few years in high school where we literally spent every waking moment together, a year in college where we spent all of our waking and sleeping moments together. He had a crazy roommate in the dorms and stayed at our apartment much of the time. He was for a long time, my soul mate. For this reason Will gave me away at my wedding. Since I am fatherless, I felt that Will was the man of my life giving me away to the new man of my life. And he did. And Lawrence loved him too, because of the amazing person he is and also because of how much we meant to each other.

I read an article last night about a women who states, first off, I think my husband is having an affair, then she lists all the evidence, the lack of physical attraction, her new found need to yell, etc. At the end, she says in the quiet of her third baby's nursery, with only the sound of her own sobbing after a bad fight, she realizes it. He is having an affair with the old her.

Sometimes I think I'm having an affair with the old me, the one who was so full of energy, who could, and would squeeze absolutely anything and everything on to her plate. Who would never say no to doing anything with or for anyone. Who was young and thin and beautiful. Who had perky breasts and no baby weight or coffee stains. I love her. She was sweet and naive, she was dumb and funny. She was a terrible driver but such a risk taker. She would NOT be stranded on a hill in the snow for 5 days! She was hilarious. Man was she funny. She drank too much and slept too much, and watched too much Lifetime TV; she had a clean(ish) house and messy car. She was Jenny Raw and UnTamed.

Now she's Jenny Cluttered, Overwhelmed, and Struggling. No wonder some of the allure with the friendship with Will has fizzled. She's a major bore fest. She still laughs and thinks of hilarious things, but forgets them a moment latter. Barely remembers and keeps this blog in HOPES of remembering some shred of humor. She sleeps too little and drinks too much coffee. She whines and vents and always has so many things to worry about.

Sigh.

I do love Jenny R&UT, she rocks. But I also love Jenny C,O,&S more. She knows who she is. She has amazing friends who she leans on, and who lean back. She loves to help people. She doesn't make crank calls or drives drunk. She never sees the top of her dresser through the stacks of clean laundry, but she has the most amazing daughters to tuck in at night. For all the times she knows she is doing something wrong, she also knows she is doing something right when she looks in their beautiful faces and bright happy smiles. When they behave in public and kiss her slobbered on cheeks with an mmmmm-mmmaaaa. So she can't afford great clothes as childcare is always breaking the bank, but even when she could AND had the body for it, she didn't. The old Jenny was a nerd. A wonderful nerd who cared what EVERYONE thought. This Jenny just is. She so unconcerned with her self, she only concentrating on her responsibilities, and she doing a pretty darn good job at managing it all.

Well for today. Tomorrow, I'll be busy in the affair with my old self. As much as I like her, I feel rather sorry for how empty life was. Sorry for how she spent too much time worrying about things that really didn't matter in the long run. What which Jenny am I talking about now? There is a chance of some overlap.

Lawrence isn't having an affair with the old Jenny, he really loves this one. He loves this mushy body and these tired eyes. He's thankful to the Dereks and the OZs and the Arlos for not wanting her. (AND PS SOOOOOO AM I). He really loves me just how I am, he never asks to change a thing about the new Jenny. I wish the new Jenny could be as respectful of the New Lawrence!

So I was thinking I should have titled this blog, Jenny Raw and UnTamed, when trying to think of my clever blog start up title. It is a phrase that used to just flow off the tongues of me and my friends. But after writing this, I'm glad that Addie and Lily Make Four.

(ps It may seem that I'm blogging a lot, I am sort of, do I have time for this? no. but I'm trying to find some peace and sanity and writing and remembering does that for me)

Tinker Toys = Gift of the Year / Arctic Blast 2008

Today I worked from home with the kids for day number 3, and I see days 4-7 in my future. Things aren't perfect, but I'm managing. There is no sign of Lawrence having a snow day, and as a family we are making due. I've lowered my standards significantly as far as the house being a free for all-with TV every day, though I'm happy to say we are sticking with Sesame Street-snack when you want-brush your teeth when we get to it. My boss informed me that we are still expecting a quarter of the years revenue to come in the next two weeks, so that should be nice and easy to do at home, alone with both of our children and a nanny that can't make it to work!

Tinker toys are the best toy ever. They are even better than when we were kids. My children LOVE them. Yesterday they played with them first thing when they got up, before milk even, and if you know my kids and their milk, this is big time. Then Lily took them into quiet time, and then the family played them together as settling down activity before bed. I actually enjoyed helping Lily to build a swing set for her bear.

This morning, again, first thing. Lily noticed a girl singing into a microphone on her new TT box and I helped her copy a microphone, then she made one on her own for Addie. Again, all Tinker Toys went up to Lily's room for quiet time, and as instructed, she was perfectly quiet, WITH pretend microphones running around. Very impressed. This certainly is not indicative of my amazing mothering. We are in a state of emergency-anything goes-and watch out for my short fuse mommy. I could, and might, write a whole blog on that later, but let's just say we are all in PJs until noon; eating orange play doh on my no eating zone carpet has been perfectly acceptable, not listening the first time I say 'come to the table', has not. I'm not proud, but that's the truth. You'll notice the pictures, one sock on, in their pajamas, cheap entertainment in a box. Anything goes this week.

Daddy got home an hour early due to the inclement weather. Have I mentioned "Arctic Blast 2008" is here. As annoying as the news stations around here are, interestingly enough, it is the first time since I moved to Portland when they have been right on about a extreme weather forecast. This is unfortunate, usually we "brace ourselves" only to get a half inch of snow in a shut down city, and that back to business as usual. In a very bad year we might be shut down for 2-3 days, but tomorrow we hunker for day four with another BIG ONE expected on Sunday. Lawrence "fixed" the mic stands for the girls and their Tinker Mics, and then took them outside to sled on our sheet of ice hill and build a snow man.

We are considering canceling our much anticipated Christmas in Joseph. While I haven't asked him yet, I plan to bribe my brother with an Amtrak ticket and a sprinkle of Christmas guilt to come to Portland should we cancel Joseph. This will SLIGHTLY ease the pain of not going to Joseph, and give us some of the same relief of the workload my mom would have provided. It also means we will go get a Christmas tree and decorate the house a bit more.

Last night I got free from our hill (chauffeured by Lawrence) to get my permanent crown to replace the temporary one from the worst dentist ever (see previous post -Am I numb?), and I lied to them as I walked out the door about keeping the appt tomorrow to fix the second filing! Once the weather let's up, I'll get to work finding my poor old filling filled teeth a new dr.

Then we went to Toys R Us, (I had this awful feeling that this was my one trip out of the house before Christmas) we had one return to make and I had to get Addie a gift, with all this lock down, it's been making me nervous to think, not only are we not going to Joseph possibly, but we don't have anything Lily asked Santa for (via mailed letter for now, we were supposed to visit him Sunday-didn't happen-or this weekend-doubtful). She's such a sweetie to pick 3 easy things under $20 for me. You know Santa only allows three things. Right? Of course beside the boatload of crap that the dollar store provided a few weeks ago.
Here's her list...
1. 3-D side walk chalk - don't ask me, but yes they make it, she saw it at the PaperZone underneath the dentist office while I was stopping for some scrapbook glue - Actual Retail Price $8.49
2. Pretty Purse - We got it for Lily's cousin, Cassie, for her bday. It's a little purse that has a bunch of little things that would go in a purse, keys, cell phone, pretend chapstick. I thought she already had something slightly similiar, but Lily couldn't bear to let that gift be mailed, she stared at it in the box for hours and wished it was hers, wished she could just open it and play with it, wished she could be at Cassie's house to play with it once the box was opened. She decided to make it number 2 on the list (she also put it on Addie's list) - Actual Retail Price - $12.99
3.Sticker Maker - Actually I believe this might have been item number one when the Toys R Us book came out. Once I got the gift home, I saw that it came with 20 ft of sticker making ribbon. "She'll go through that in one quiet time" I joked to Lawrence. In reality, no joke. - Actual Retail Price -$19.99. Done and done!

Addie got a Little People airplane from us (the kids have been Little People crazy-and have the next Hanukkah gift of a Little People Happy Hanukkah set from gma and gpa complete with menorah and yarmulkes) , and a Cabbage Patch Doll from Santa (along with a matching purse to her sister's). We did not have one thing for her, and had several things for her sister, (mostly books and games, and a stool of C-list) but still. The fact that Lily takes good care of her toys is one thing, the fact that Addie is the best girl ever, should get her a place on Santa's list SOMEWHERE!

My friend Carrie made me laugh. so. hard. In her blog she said she wondered what would happen to her daughter if Santa didn't pull through this year, only leaving a note that said, "sorry kid, your house is too cluttered, better luck next year". I could so relate. Our kids need no new toys. They play with and take good care of, every thing. We've cleared out all possibilities of clutter without throwing away good toys.

So today, I am thankful for my well behaved, and slightly neglected children, I'm thankful for PERFECTLY orchestrated naps by me just in time for a silent conference call at 1pm with my boss and Ernst & Young, our auditors. I'm thankful for tinker toys, and for snowsuits, and for good listening friends (Robin, today that was you!), and for daddy's who play in the snow-sledding and building snowmen- with their little girls, even after a hard and frustrating day in the office. I'm thankful for the snuggle king of our family, who always knows just how to tuck...shirts, socks, boots, and gloves...so no one gets any snow on their skin. I'm thankful for the sloppy joes cooking downstairs and for a mother in law who appreciates my blog and picture taking, as much as I love doing it. I'm thankful for bedtime, and kids asleep before 8pm.

Time for QT with that great hubby of mine!

Today was a challenge

Lawrence did not get a snow day. His boss called to say he had to come in at 6:30am, he was an hour and a half late and has to make up the time. Sheesh. I worked from home. So did my staff, and there computer connection problems all day. The kids didn't get outside, though they really wanted to I just didn't get to it. I wrote a negative performance appraisal today that felt really yuckyl.
It looks like my nanny won't be coming all week and it is my busiest week of the year. But I also live on the steepest hill that doesn't get plowed or graveled. I wouldn't drive up it either.

But we made it through, with the help of an episode of Sesame Street, too many snacks and too much milk, and opening on Hannukkah present early. Thanks Gma and Gpa! The girls are now fans of Tinker Toys. They aren't wooden anymore, plastic, safer, Addie loved them too. What a great first Hanukkah present for her!


I feel like I'm coming down with a cold. Or something. I cannot stop sneezing. It is bizarre. I've sneeze at least a hundred thousand times today. I am grateful for a warm house and flexible job!
Here is a rather long video of the present opening.

The order to read them

I'm learning.
I thought that if I posted my blogs in the order I wanted, the last posted would be first, but it doesn't work that way. So for today's posts, they are out of order. First is Christmas party #1 - Saturday Day events, Second is Christmas party #2 - Saturday night events, Third is Snow day - Sunday events. I don't know why I was such a post a holic this weekend, but the way I ended up posting them, they are totally out of order and don't make much sense.
Any other blogspotters know how to fix this order? It seems to have taken on a sequence mind of it's own.

Christmas Party Number Two

Christmas Party Number Two

Jeremy and Jennifer invited us over to a party at their house on Dec 13. We didn't know for sure because we thought it might be our evening of exhaustion after a day with all the kids. But we decided it would be good to get out and do something. Plus then we wouldn't have to worry about a Saturday night dinner, and we would get caught up with some friends. I had talked to Nichole on Friday, who had news that she was having a boy, and that she got laid off that morning. (Wow, what news. They will be okay, but it was very surprising and disappointing to her. I told her that it is the last time in her entire life that she won't have someone else to take care of, and how wonderful to only take good care of herself and nesting for the next 4.5 months.)

The Rose's left at 5:05 and we were out the door for The Ornelas's at 5:30 on the dot (and Lily and I changed clothes, Dad and Addie went a little more casual) . Talk about some SERIOUS planning on mommy's side. :)

The party was very fun. It was 5 couples total. Jer cooked a GREAT meal and I was able to get both girls down to bed there, so we got some grown up time. Another highlight was that after Addie went to sleep in the pak n play in J&Js room, Lily was able to go in and get to sleep without waking up Addie. (I know I know this should not be considered a party highlight, but it just wouldn't be me if I didn't work in a way to discuss sleep victories or challenges). We played a fun, easy, and hilarious game of "what if", any of you who ever play games with us, it is now on the list! We were hoping to make it an early night, but we were having so much fun, that we didn't leave until midnight. I only had 2 beers and stopped early so I could drive us, after I saw Lawrence thouroughly enjoying the variety of winter brews. Very yummy and very high alcohol content. Their friends Drew (local TV personality - channel 8 morning show) and Mia were there with 15 month old twins, and Addie had fun playing with them. One of them had glasses and the other was about to get them, his eye was turning in, so I got into a length discussion with Mia about my own early years glasses experience. As I looked and played with them, I just couldn't imagine the challenge of such a young toddler with glasses. And I GUARANTEE my mom didn't have the cool little sports strap to help keep mine on. But I have to remember I was a mature 2 year old like my Lily was, and I guess I understood and followed direction. Tho I remember liking to sneak out to play w/out my glasses, until my eye was so far turned in it was nearly disappeared,but I would hide from my mom not to see it, so I wouldn't have to go put them on.

Anyway, it was all lots of fun. Nichole and Rob are so excited about having a Baby Boy Bissell, and it was fun sharing with them, and also thinking what was ahead for them, it will all be so life changing (see earlier blog-this is the easy part!). Once we got home, we easily got our kids back to sleep after a quick bottle and a trip to the potty. Another sleep victory! (don't make fun, but we've only attempted this a time or two before, last one being the night I broke my foot).

A fun holiday party with good friends. Thanks Jer and Jenn!

Christmas Party Number One

Today was our payback to wonderful friends who helped by watching our girls during the time I was injured and needed so much help. Here were our attendees:

KianaRose-9
Quinn Rose-6
Ciela Rose-4.5
Rachel Powers-4
Lily-4
Nataniel Chappelle-3.5
Alex Kolmer- 3.5
Carina Rose-2.5
Addie -1.5
Benjamin Chappelle- 1.5

If we tried to repay these friends one at a time, it would be over a month of weekends! So we decided we would have a Christmas party for the kids and just have everyone for one full day!

We had planned crafts, snacks, lunches, playing, movies and hired our 13 year old neighbor to come over and be extra hands and eyes.

It was all great. The highlight for most of the kids seemed to be making Reindeer headbands. These were made by using the one footprint cut out as the face, and both hand prints as the antlers. Then some googley eyes and a red nose a few staples, and wa-la, Reindeer headband.
All the kids loved them and wouldn't take them off.

I really enjoyed getting to bond with some of my friends kids, something that doesn't always happen when you both have your own kids to care for. Highlights included little Benjamin not crying when his parents left, having a dog drawing contest with Kiana (I lost by a LONG shot), comforting Alex when she started missing her mom a little, and then noticing that she always wanted me to be in eye shot, and a seeing that a little smile and wink, and she didn't feel lonely, putting sweet Carina down for a nap, Rachel warming up to me and wanting to go on our walk, and LOTS of tickling of little feet while trying to trace them! Addie stole Benjamin's pants while I was changing his diaper and hid them, thinking she was very funny. He thought so too, and they were both trying to say his name. Addie said "Ben a men" it was so sweet. Lily was so happy to be having a big group of friends to her house that she was a tad bossy a few times, but overall was good, and she honestly had THE best time. Mommy and Lily stole away a few minutes during TV time, when she was done and the other kids weren't, we cleaned up her room and had a nice time talking.

We had kids from 9a-5p and made a few minutes of down time TV time from about 12:30-2, though many of the kids didn't want to watch that long. Of course we don't often use TV in our house as the entertainment, but we also knew that if we didn't have a way to get them to sit down for a few minutes we'd be sorry come about 4pm...

It all worked out great. I'd do it again in a heartbeat. I honestly could not have survived without these friends while my foot was broken and I was trapped, unable to walk, drive, or care for my children properly. Beside the emotional and logistical support that they provide through many hours of phone calls and giving rides to and from work, preschool, walk-a-thons etc, these four families have cared for our children in a bind and at a moments notice, without hesitation, and in a manner that showed they weren't concerned with how inconvenient it would be for them, only helping us in anyway they could.

The Rose's who have four children, took my two kids on a few occasions with no notice, and even came to pick them up in order to make it easier on us (once only so Lawrence wouldn't have to miss the kick off to his Buckeye game-and another time as they were preparing to go out of town for the weekend as soon as he picked them up). The Kolmer's gave up a Sunday to come meet Lawrence, so he could be comfortable with Carrie coming over to watch our kids with her kids the next day. The Chapelle's are expecting baby number 3 and had to deal with Lily throwing a tantrum leaving the children's museum, helping me out any time possible when I had an important work conflict without me even asking as well as many other times of calling and offering to take a child, just because they felt they had a little more room for helping that day. And the Powers, friends who have been like family to us since we met them 4 years ago. They are the family that we learned to be family with since neither of us had family close by. Since then, Shawna's mom moved to town, and they haven't needed us as much as we've needed them. But they don't use that as a reason to not always come through and offer to watch our children, at our house, pretty much any time we've ever asked.

Of course these four families are not our only friends in Portland, and they aren't the only ones who helped out while I was injured, I could mention a dozen more. And of course, I didn't write the above to compare in any way the help that one family gave over another, only to give a small example of HOW much help it really was to us. We felt that we wanted to repay them with the gift of time, the thing each parent needs more than anything else, for caring for our children in such a selfless way, and letting them drop their kids off knowing it would be a fun party day for the kids and not something that they might have to feel guilty about (like any parent needs more guilt). We appreciate you guys SO much, and I do not know how we would have survived the months of September and October this year with out you! You are truly blessings in our life.

Snow day

Today it snowed for the first time this year. It was Addie's first time getting to play in the snow since last year she spent any snow time in her sling under my jacket or cozied away in her baby bjorn covered in fleece.

We woke up this morning to nothing on the ground, but by 8:30am it was snowing and accumulating rather quickly. At around 9:30 I started getting the girls prepared to go out. Since Daddy was feeling a little under the weather due to a Widmer Brr induced...umm...tummy ache from the Christmas party last night. It took me forever to get the girls and me ready. I forgot how many moving parts there are to dress and keep warm.

Lily was so so so excited to have snow. Yesterday it snowed for about a minute and a half, so today she was worried it wouldn't stick around long enough to play. We went out in the back yard and were having a ball. Daddy heard laughing from us inside. Then Addie freaked out a bit when she got some snow on her between her glove and coat, it is a little painful and if it is a new sensation...well...let's just say I know what she'll do if she ever gets acid on her flesh! It was very confusing to her that she couldn't take off her gloves or "that" would happen to her again.

Then we went around to the front yard and our entire street was closed off and turned to a sledding hill. It was really fun for the girls. We got the sleds out and after ringing the door bell a few times, and Daddy emptying his belly, he was ready to sled with his girls. This was good b/c I was having a hard time not wearing my "special" shoes, and trying to manage snow, a bundled baby, and the hill on my lame foot.

We made snow angels and forts and ate snow and just had a really great time.

Our friends that live down the street invited us over for dinner, they had originally planned for dinner with other friends who couldn't make the trek across town. That was nice as I had just got the kitchen back in order after our busy day yesterday, and I didn't have anything good in the hopper for our dinner tonight.

Lily told me "Mama, Daddy said he's a little bit country and a little bit rock and roll". I don't know why, but in her squeaky little voice, I was laughing my head off.

Addie got the first of her 4 eye teeth, it is starting to poke through, the other 3 look like they are very close behind, she is drooling like crazy and biting too. She bit Lawrence's shoulder SO hard tonight. She got a time out. :) For some reason there is almost nothing that she does that doesn't seem adorable to me, that includes taking a chunk out of daddy's shoulder.

As for tomorrow, the nanny isn't coming, I'm working from home, and Lawrence's boss is calling him around 6am to let him know if she was able to make it into the office. So here's hoping to her not making it. We are upon THE busiest week at work for me, and I have my first performance appraisals to finish for my staff, so it would be great if daddy got another snow day with his girls tomorrow.

Judah

My cousin Judah called me today out of the blue. He was very encouraging, prayed for me, and just made me feel overall blessed to have him in my family. He is the 4th oldest of my Aunt's 9 kids (you may have heard me talk of older siblings Titus, David, or Petra). Anyway, he's on a mission to do amazing things with his life, serving God, and is just a super neat person. I'm so glad to be related to the Wilke's. If you happen to read this Judah, thanks for the call today. You made my day!

Latke Larry

Latke Larry came to us as a Hanukkah gift from Lawr's parents in 2004.

It is this little man that you push the button and he sings the below:

Latke Larry comes to you,
a friend to play with and fun to chew,
I’ve got tales of Macabees,
Oy and plenty of calories.
Celebrate our history
How we made it is still a mystery
Play the games
Light the flames sing and dance and praise His name,
Fill your plate, eat my chow.
Finally I have some serenity now

You, stop eating my latkes!

It is Jerry Stiller singing the tune and it is REALLY funny. You totally get the song stuck in your head. Every year we get Latke Larry out and laugh the first few pushes, get the song in our head and he is as much a part of our holiday traditions now as the Menorah or a Christmas tree. We also have this dancing snowman that I got at a "Christmas's around the World" party in New Jersey a million years ago. It sings "I'm a SNOW man" to the tune of "I'm a SOUL man". Equally as corny, funny, and getting old by the time he goes back in the box.

So the last few days we've been over hearing Lily muttering, "Latke Larry comes to you, with plenty of food and plenty of chew" or whatever rhyme she can think of. Also in play talk she says in her best old Jewish man voice "YOU, stop eating my Latke's!" It is SO funny to her say it. It's another ways to kids keep your traditions alive and make you laugh so hard when you see it through their eyes. LL even sleeps in Lily's room on the dresser, while soul man snowman is Addie's favorite thing to dance along with while holding and also to tuck under an arm. It's motion sensitive so she doesn't have to press anything.

If I've raised your interest, Larry has a website. Or if you youtube him, there are a million videos of people doing various things with him.
http://www.latkelarry.com/

E-L-E-E-M-O-S-Y-N-A-R-Y

My complete breakdown last week caught me off guard and I didn't write about a very important happening on Wednesday night.

My good friend, from camp, then college, then now, had her directorial debut at University of Portland. She saved my date a few months ago I think. I put it on the calendar, and had NO idea what the heck "Eleemosynary" was, I couldn't say it, nor did I realize the significance when I booked it on my calendar.

Jenn came into my life when I was 12 or 13, we met at St Ives, the most run down cabin at camp Marshall in Montana, preparing to spend what would become the best two weeks of our summer for the next several years. Over our 6 or so summers together, we were best friends at times and fierce competitors at others...its hard being a small fish in a big (Flathead) lake. One day we could be found competing for the most active back during "Go Go Go Joseph" or winning Jim over by the most stunning smile + shimmer hands during "Old Dan Tucker", or trying to get asked to Banquet Night by the same guy, any one of which is most definitely openly gay these days. On the next day you'd find us gossiping while blowing our hair in bathrooms, arm in arm at campfire, "keeping on the sunny side", or crying and promising to write and call at the cast party after our last show. It's tough to be an early teenager girl in theater, competing for recognition and big hair and boys!

My second year at University of Montana, our paths crossed again. We didn't have a falling out or a reason to lose touch the first time, we just did. Life moved on and there were our regular lives + 64 campers per year to keep up with, and somehow we just didn't. This time we'd drink way too much together, randomly meet up at a SAE party's or the Bodega or Stock's, we'd share a drunken dance at the Ritz, and say we'd call and get together sometime, but we never did. We saw each other often, knew lots of the same people, but weren't really in touch. Jenn was very active in the drama program that I was only on the outskirts of. I didn't know how to fit in there, when I knew it wasn't my passion or my calling, even though it was my major and my scholarship (a whole other blog on that topic). I felt too normal and uncreative for the drama world and way to crazy and weird for the business world, and floated between my two majors without really having close relationships with people in either.

And then comes along a little thing called myspace. And a lady named Buffy requests me as a friend. Just as I'm about to delete the request (I think I'd KNOW if I knew some named BUFFY), I look at her profile. Buffy went to UM, she was in theater, she lives in Portland. Wait, do I know her...too much in common? As it ended it up, I didn't, though I do now. But she led me back to Jenn. I scrolled down her friends list, and there was my long lost friend from 10 years ago. Who had graduated, been a tour actor, a student again, a high school drama teacher, and was looking to go back to school. It was fun to reconnect, but it was a fairly superficial reconnect, what have you done, where do you live, what do you have going in your life, not much WHO are you and what are you like. During a trip she made to Portland in April 07, when I was pg with Addie, I saw her at Comedy Sportz, an improv show that she came to compete in while bring a load of students to the big city for workshops.

I was really in awe of her talent. She had never worked with any of the actors and she was AMAZING and confident and FUNNY. I felt proud of her. Proud that she did what she said she was going to do with her life, and proud that I knew her when... Also the pangs of anxiety knowing she was so meant for this, and I so was not. It was nerve wrecking watching her, and she pulled each and every performance seamlessly and with talented ease. At that show, she told me a little secret that she would be moving to Portland for grad school and a directing program.

When she finally moved here, Addie was born, and we did reconnect. One day in her new condo in North East Portland, Addie and I came over and stayed 6 hours. And it was wonderful. It was this friendship that took little effort because we both knew so much history. We had been friends since we were 12 years old, though knew little about each other's hearts. But if felt so effortless to get to a really close place.

In the last year, I've gone to as many of Jenn's performances as possible. Highlights being the Comedy Sportz World Championships, Neil Diamond's Rumors via Anonymous theatre, where no one in the audience knew who was in the show, actors get up from their seats with their friends and get on stage (but I did...she told me so she could get me there on a Monday night!), and now Eleemosynary.

What a highlight. I know that was definitely a very lengthy discussion to explain that I loved loved loved her show. But in order to properly explain how much I loved it, I felt that I needed to share how much I love her and how moved I was by the performance she orchestrated from these talented actresses. I got to sit next to her on opening night, between her and her dad, with her mom on the other side. I laughed and cried, and squeezed her hand a few times because I couldn't take my eyes away for a moment to let her know how much I thought of it.
Again.
I am so proud to know her. The script selection, the actresses, the thought she put into each motivation and helping the young talent develop their character. It was unreal. I felt her connection to people via the show in a way that I just can't do justice in words.

After the show I caught Jenn's mom on the way out of the theater. She thanked me for coming, I thanked her for coming. :) She thanked me for being a good friend to Jenn and I told her that the feeling was mutual. I'm proud of Jenn for not taking the easy road of comfort and changing what needed to be changed, questioning what needed to be questioned, and most of all for following her dreams. She continues to move out of her comfort zone, question the unquestionable, dream and do something about those dreams.

Eleemosynary means of or relating to charity. It explores the relationships between a grandmother, mother, and daughter. It examines the crazy things women do and the motives behind why we hurt each other out of our own selfishness-trying to do our best, and the baggage that we all carry because of it. It uses words and their spelling & meaning to express emotions and discusses how unique intelligence can hinder the best of intentions. It was heartwarming and heart aching all at the same time. If you ever ever see this play playing near you, go see it, it is wonderful. Unfortunately for you, it will not be as good my Jenn-made performance. If you ever see "Directed by Jenn Hunter"
on the Marquis, you must go inside and buy a ticket.

Rules: Round 1

"Lily, please do not mention body parts at the table"

I laughed aloud yesterday when I heard this "rule" as Lawrence said it to Lily. But it could have easily gone unnoticed as I wiped down countertops; and if questioned I might vaguely answered "you heard what your dad said, and you need to listen" without even thinking. Luckily I was paying attention to how it sounded. It got me to thinking...we have a lot of nonsensical rules that seem to really fit at the moment, but will make me laugh and shake my head when I actually sit back to think about the type of restrictions that just fly around without a second thought of how absurd it sounds. I'll attempt to remember some of those here, and do my best to explain what we were thinking! If you have similar type craziness at your house, I'd love to hear a "rule" or two of yours. Something you said and then in your after thought said, 'did I just say that?'

This one stems because as soon as you say (while eating or otherwise) ear, hair, nose, eye, chin neck etc. at the table, Addie immediately puts her finger up it or her food in it. Even when you don't, she particularly likes to put food in her ears and nose (as well as her mouth).

Lily says "Addie has something on her nose", immediately Addie puts her sloppy-joe covered pointer finger up it. Lily says, "Addie's hair is so soft", immediately Addie rubs her hair with a peach soy yogurt covered hand. Lily says, "Addie has blue eyes, mine are brown", immediately Addie is stabbing her sippy cup into her eye ball.

Lily laughs hysterically at each and every one of these messy motions by Addie. Then so does Addie and she purposely starts to stuff more Rice Crispies in her ear or drop eggs on the floor trying to find her toes. And it is funny. Really funny. But it's REALLY messy and no one eats. After a half hour of no food in mouths, no food on plates, and lots of food on tables, kiddie chairs (worst clean up place EVER-ick-I thought the high chair was bad), and floor...

...it creates the rule for the moment. Only to last that long, but if only for an instant of sanity...and, if I'm lucky, one less piece of fruit leather to scrape off my hardwoods...then so be it.

"Lily, please do not mention body parts at the table"

Camas, Cirque, and Lights

This weekend we had Lawrence's company Christmas Party. I had fun, but he was a little uptight, not wanting too much personal information shared or getting nervous that I would say something too loud whilst making fun of a coworker. Anyway, a few apple martinis later, I was enjoying myself and the company of 12 ladies from his office + 1 boyfriend + 1 dad. I also "got" to be the official photographer for the annual company card! I did this a few years ago for them in Vegas, they liked my work, so the pressure was on again! I hope that I got a picture they like, I told them we needed to get the show on the road before the martinis kicked it!













Today was a relaxing day of Cirque du Soleil practice with Lawrence and the girls, a nap for all four of us, and then a really great walk to look at Christmas lights with the the whole family, the girls got all bundled in their snowsuits I found on ebay for a steal.

Here are some pics of the rest of the day. Lawrence was teaching the girls how to "dismount" and do arms up. Needless to say it was VERY funny to watch. Both girls are doing very well and we anticipate that the next time we go to a show Lawrence will be able to hoist Lily over the fence and on to the stage to perform with the cast. Lily has it all figured out and just wants to know when the next show will be. She doesn't want to practice with the cast, just with daddy and then she'll make her way on stage without notice to the performers. This is all fun games until the next time we go to a show and have to deal with her not being able to get on stage or...gasp...her actually trying to get there.

When we got home for our walk the girls had warm soy vanilla milk (their choice not mine, I offered Hot Choc!), Addie was up to her favorite game of hiding behind the couch pillow while we say "where did Addie go". It never gets old and I discovered it might be my new number one way to get a picture of genuine smiles on both girls faces. So if you see these pillows on a Christmas card pic in a while, do not be surprised. Tho also do not be surprised if you do not receive a Christmas card from us. It might just get cut this year for various reasons.

In other news, I'm optimistic for a good week after a stressful one last week, but my nerves still seem to be shot. I'm going to dive in head first and work hard, then try to cut what isn't necessary and not sweat the small stuff. I think long cold walks in the dark with my family followed by playing "where is Addie" and getting rewarded with these smiles is evidence enough that my own stress reducing medicine is within the four walls of my own home and I'm holding them in my arms!

A funny little game we started

Lawrence and I have, without mention, started a funny little game.

It all began when I found his wedding ring balled up in a towel in the kitchen after he had his hand up the turkey's you know what the day before Thanksgiving. You'd think I would be grateful that I wasn't the one who had to do the dirty deed, but instead I was a little ircked that this token of our commitment had been tossed aside and absentmindedly forgotten in a dirty kitchen towel.

I took the ring and put it in our bathroom, waiting to see how long until he noticed.

4 days later he told me he had no clue where his ring could be. I considered waiting to tell him, letting him suffer. Until WHEN, I'm not sure, I put on my rational-this-is-the-love-of-my-life-why-do-I-want-him-to-feel-bad-? hat and told him that the ring was in our bathroom. He was glad it wasn't missing, and went on about his day.

A few days later, Sunday night, after he went to bed, I left the ring for him in the ring box he proposed with (also where I'd hidden it) next to his sink so he would again wear the symbol of our love the next day.

When I woke up, I found both my engagement ring and my wedding band in the box sitting next to my sink. I smiled and put them on. That night, he was in bed, and I took my rings off and put them in the soap dish, picked up his ring out of the soap dish and placed it in the box next to his sink. In the morning, he was gone and my rings were back in the box. I smiled and put them on.


We've now been going on like that for a week. Neither of us has said a word about it, nor thinks about it in the day. It's silly, I know. But we don't see each other in the mornings before work and there is this tiny moment that feels so sweet to know the other has carefully placed the ring for the other to wear for the day. And every time I reach for my ring in the morning, and find the box, I smile and put it on. I don't know the last time I smiled while putting on my rings in the morning, but it definitely isn't since our first year of marriage to be sure. It's usually a task not a sentiment. Until this game came along. Sweet huh?