This blog was Started on 1/16/2009 - The same day I wrote a status update on Facebook that said "Jenny feels a blog coming on" and then never wrote one. Um, this was it. Yeah, that was a million years ago, well really only 6 weeks. I've got to get these blogs that are 3/4 finished DONE!
It seems like there is a very common theme among the mamas who had babies in 2007. Every time I read a new blog, the sentiment is still the same.
Oh where oh where can my baby be?
A baby they are, no more.
And even though all of us mamas have gone through day in and day out raising these little buggers, we are shocked, surprised, heart broken even, to find out that our babies are no where to be found. With the exception of at a doctors office being pumped with vaccines or while getting vomit on our lovely throw pillow. Sigh.
Wednesday night was Addie's last bottle. Her last formula. The last suckling. I know I'm being irrational and dramatic, but I just looked down at her sucking every last ounce out of her beloved bottle, and thought back to the days a year ago when it was a struggle each day to get her to take a bottle. How I worked and worked and pumped and pumped and dumped and dumped wasted bottles of breast milk and formula. How I fretted over her weight and wondered why she wouldn't take it. How I bought various brands and nipple shapes. And how now, I'm taking away something she loves. Because, well, she's not a baby anymore and doesn't need to suckle her liquids out of a feeder that relies on an infants natural need to suck for nutrients. Nope. She can drink it out of a cup like the big kid that she is. Sigh.
When the doctor had told me it would be better for her to keep taking formula rather than soy milk since she was allergic to cows milk at her one year check up, I was thrilled to keep giving the bottle. At 15 months when she said, let's make the goal to stop the bottle and formula 18 months, I was thrilled. At 17 months, I was out of formula and thought it would be the perfect time to stop having to wash & sterilize nipples. But I broke down and sent Lawrence to Safeway for another can, why stop one month early...that is crazy. At 18 months when there was still half a can left of formula, I was thrilled. No WAY was I wasting ten bucks worth of perfectly good formula. But now, at 18.5 months. We are done.
Fast forward to 2/27/09
I started the blog above when I thought that my baby was gone. But now she really really is. She had her first temper tantrum last week because she didn't want to sit in the booster seat at dinner or wear a bib to eat spaghetti. She is one of the big kids, running and laughing. She doesn't want to hug for long after waking up in the morning or after a nap, sometimes not at all. She has her own ideas and is absolutely PISSED when she thinks you don't know what she wants. She is equally THRILLED when she gets the feeling you understand what she is trying to say. She copies each and every single thing her sister does. (And I just got the bright idea as I type this of having Lily sit in a booster seat so that it isn't a fight to get Addie to sit in one as well). The flip side of this is that my big girl wishes she was the same age as Addie half the time too.
I held my friend Tanya's then two week old baby a few weeks ago at church, she was so small and sweet. I loved the way she felt and the way she smelled, the way she was curled into a ball with wrinkly skin. So sweet. I'm happy to say that I do think at some point another baby will be in our future. Just as it was the first two times, it's hard to figure out what time will be the "right" time. The right time seems like it is always and never. It seems hard to make the decision to just do it and we find ourselves a bit jealous of the "surprises" we hear about around us. Even though we have more room in our hearts, we are also totally and absolutely content with our family as it is. So there isn't a rush and there isn't any pressure and we are so completely on the same page about it all that it is very very nice.
But for now, we are left babyless. And that's kind of awesome and it totally sucks, all at the same time.
We do have A lot of new babies coming into our lives in the next 9 months, let's see if I can name a few:
Nichole and Rob (April - a boy - Cohen Dean)
Robin and Mark (August)
Dawn and Lucas (September)
a few more that aren't public yet...