But here

-I haven't posted anything since January of 2015.  A year and 4 months, that's a lot of life that went lived but undocumented.  That's okay, it's been a season of hard and busy (and good), and I think I've been in this season for several years now.  I remember back when I felt like I couldn't post another thing because I hadn't blogged Lily's 6th birthday, and now Bryson is 6, and I've yet to capture a single one with my words.  

-My mom and I are planning a trip to Paris in November for my 40th birthday.  
-Lily got accepted to go to Missoula Children's Theatre camp
-I'm trying to get back in shape after a good 3 years of not being in shape. 
-Some of my friendships are growing and some of them are not.  
-I feel lonely a lot, though I am rarely alone.  
-Last year's trip to the Montana and Wyoming and their National Parks has sparked a desire to see more.  
-This summer we plan to go to Utah to see the loop of 5 National Parks there, right on the heels of a week on Flathead Lake.  
-I have three kids playing softball/baseball and the scheduling needs for this family look impossible.  Yet somehow, each week, each day, we make it work, and all that worry is unnecessary.  
-Over the last year +, for the first time since having kids, I feel like I have a village, a community.  I don't need to rely on only myself and my closest friends.  We are a community of people who can meet our needs and whose needs we can meet.  This is deeply satisfying in my soul.   
-My oldest will start middle school next year, she is one of the best people I know.  Her heart, her courage, her ambition, her drive, her work ethic...I honestly don't deserve to be the mother of a kid this great, but I'm so lucky I am.  She's amazing, and I can't wait to see what she does with her life.  
-My Addie, she's 8, and still struggles within our family unit.  She's a fierce competitor, she's compassionate, she works hard. I will admit that at the moment, things are the most difficult with her.  We are committed to work through the issues she is having.  We love her so much and we want her to feel like she is not an outsider in her own family. Even though she puts herself in that position quite often.  
-Oh my joyous Bryson.  The boy is just overflowing with happy.  He still has as much energy as he's always had, too much energy I sometimes think.  And as I think about what's hard about parenting, I think about how happy he is.  How that makes him easy in so many ways, because it's something you can't do for him.  That would be hard.  My son is HAPPY and filled with JOY.  What more could I want?  
-I'm finding that I never take a minute to think.  I need to think, write, plan, analyze.  It's key to my happiness.  

I'm going to find my way here.  Even if it's clumsy at first and I can't figure out where to start or what to call it.  This is where to start, awkwardly, unorganized.  But here.