Saturday, July 30, 2011

Goodbye is only a prolonged Hello


It sucks.  Today we said goodbye to our loved and needed AuPair, Julia.  She has 2 weeks of fun and traveling the parts of the US that she hasn't seen yet, before she goes back to Germany and our family is left one person short.  Julia has been amazing this year.  I really don't know how I would have gotten through this difficult year without her.  My work life was insane and my emotional life was dangling by a thread, and she really was a type of glue and consistency, constantly full of kindness, helpfulness, and encouragement.  She has a knack for being just what we need when we need it. 

My heart breaks for her and the kids.  They are so in love with each other.  They have a special bond that could not be any sweeter. 

In a final moment today, before we left the house,  Addie gave Julia one of her bear-bears and made her promise to think of her every night when she slept with it.  Addie has 4 bear-bears, it might seem like a lot, like she had one to spare, but bear-bear is her best friend, her comfort, her playmate.  To give a bear-bear to Julia (even if it was admittedly the one that she like the least) it was touching.  Julia burst into tears with the biggest smile on her face.  Julia's friend Micah and I did too because it was just too cool of a gesture.  I told Lawrence the story in the car, and even his eyes filled with tears as he thought about it.

I told Lily that I feel bad for Bryson, because he doesn't know what is going on, and he says "Buh-Bye Jew-a" but he doesn't know that it is goodbye for a very long time, that the next time he sees her won't be in a few hours or days.  Lily said, "I feel really sad for everyone, especially myself".  :) 

This is awesome.  And it's hard.  We now have 2 girls who will forever be part of our family due to this program.  But starting over fresh, with a broken heart each just sucks.  I can't say it more eloquently than that.  It sucks for them and for us.  We will move on and we will have each other.  I heard Julia say to Bryson, the LOVE of her life, the other morning, "Who's smile will brighten my days, and start them off right when I don't have you?"  And I know she means that with her WHOLE heart.  

We will be taking a year or so off the AuPair program and hiring a nanny who won't live with us.  We've founds someone sweet and special that we are really happy about.

Saying goodbye to an AuPair isn't like saying goodbye to a childcare provider though.  It's like saying goodbye to a family member.  The sadness doesn't come just because of the job there is to fill, it comes from losing the genuine love that we have for each other.  Knowing that the person caring for the kids loves them and us as much as we love her.  

Julia is an incredible person.  She is 20, and she is mature, smart, godly.  She will go so far in her life.  Her future is wide open and I'm so proud of the person she has become while she is here.  She has been so open to every experience, and blessing have poured down on her.  And on us.  I know she has so much to look forward to, and the next chapter of her life can't start until this one ends. 


I'm just sad that I don't get to see her everyday anymore.

"Goodbye, Goodbye, to you and you and you..." or, "We're going on a trip in our favorite rocket ship..."
"Bryson, do you want to hold my hand?"

One last picture-Bryson kicking Addie in the head...

We love you "Jue-a"!!!


  1. Such a great program, but so hard too. Good luck with the nanny!

  2. Wow, that hard. I don't know if I could do that.

  3. You've been so lucky with your wonderful au pairs, Bean Bean and Julia, and they've been lucky in having you, too.

    You chose each other, taking big leaps of faith, and oh how well everything turned out, especially for my much-loved grandkids.

    Except for the tearful good-byes, in which I share.

  4. found this blog on accident, but what site did you use to find your au-pair?

  5. Even the goodbye must have been really hard it's always good to know that your aupairs are still part of the family even though living on different continents. Wish you all the best.

    A former US-aupair