Monday, September 20, 2010

Out of the Past: My Panties are Too Tight

I was planning to win a blog contest this week. A new washer and dryer were at stake. Yes. All I had to do was blog M-F this week and follow a series of blog post topics that they suggested. I was excited because the first three blog topics were about bringing back 3 old blogs. First, your first "real" blog. You know the one beyond saying, Hi, this is a blog, I'm not really sure what to write about. The second was to find an old meaningful post that you wish more people read - add some reflections on how you feel about it now, and the third was to repost your blog with your all time favorite blog title.

Since I "blogged-but-didn't-call-it-blogging-because-it-was-a-baby-journal" with for 2 years upon finding out I was pregnant with Addie in 2006, I occasionally log back into that and find some real gems. A while back I called these posts I reposted "out of the past", named for one of the newspaper columns my mom invented at her paper, and has been writing weekly for as long as I can remember. I haven't been in my "past" for a long time though. It's password protected because I wrote it more like a journal and I shared info about things and people who I knew did not have that password. There was also always way TMI. That's also true with this blog, but now I'm comfortable with it, and I've always written this with the openness that anyone could read it. Unlike my babysites.

So (run on sentence alert) in the blog contest that actually started last Monday rather than this Monday so I missed the whole thing (FAIL!), aka I will not be winning the beautiful Turquoise W&D set that was up for grabs, I still did a lot of thinking and the 3rd day blog topice with my favorite blog title would have been the babysites I wrote titled "My Panties Are Too Tight".

I wrote this post on 9/4/08 after I'd broken my foot. We'd just returned from a wonderful vacation, Addie had just learned to walk, and I'd just found out that I couldn't walk or drive for 6 weeks (which turned into 8 weeks at the next dr appt). I'd also been told that if I stepped down on my foot even once it would mean I'd need surgery because the broken bone was so small and fragile, one step would do me in. That would lead to a do over and restart date in my healing.

A few weeks ago, I was put in touch with a mom who has 3 kids, same age as mine, her oldest is named Lily (she's been the "other Lily" in my daughters school for the past 2 years.) We've hear a lot about each other since our girls had the same teachers, but we'd never met before. She has two girls and a boy, her youngest is 8 months. We have a lot in common. Today I just saw on FB that she broke her leg in three places and had to have surgery. No walking for 8 weeks. The past just flooded me. When I went to go find her a blog I'd written here about how bad it sucks, I realized that most of the foot breaking blogs were in the protected babysite, and since I was going to post this one any way for the contest I can't win, I'll do it now. Enjoy. And appreciate your two working legs.

Without further run on ado:
My Panties are Too Tight

I started the day out with a pretty good outlook. One of my friends is going through a tough break up and her heart is broken. While talking her off the ledge I was thinking about what it feels like to have a broken heart (knowing all the advice I was giving I would NEVER have taken, tho my last broken heart was 10 year ago so maybe I would now take that advice at 30). Anyway it got me to thinking. I keep saying, "this is just a foot, not a life, I'm not in a coma or have cancer, it's a small bone". But then after talking to my friend I remembered that even a broken heart takes years to heal, and how I wouldn't trade with her for the world! At least I know when this pain will end.

In other good news we have figured out help for the next 6 weeks. During that time I have 3 weeks of mornings on my own, but at least I have care for my kids during the day, thanks to Susannah (my 11yo cousin), Tamara (new nanny), my mom, and Lawrence's mom, we are covered until Oct 14...Lily's bday. That sounds like a good day to be able to move! Now I just have to coordinate drop off and pick up of Lily for school some of the days, and how do I get her ready to go if I do find her a ride.

My triceps are the most sore today, the bruises on the palms of my hands are a close second, then my foot, strangely enough.

My friend Robin called today to tell me she was bringing me coffee and cookies tomorrow. I told her thanks but I need bread and Tampons instead. She said she'd bring both. :) Oh yes, in other great and too much information news, I started my period yesterday too. My cold that I acquired on the plane ride home from our wonderful vacation is feeling better today tho. Could vacation really have ended just 5 days ago? It doesn't seem possible.

So let me TRY to describe how I'm feeling at the end of a day. The feeling I have is like when you are out and about and you realize you wore panties that were too tight. Like WAY too tight, you can't-believe-that-you-actually-convinced-yourself-that-these-fit-when-you-got-dressed-this-morning kind of tight and worse, you left for the day in them, they are cutting into your inner thigh like two rubber bands tying of fat leg sausages, and they are riding up your crack so far you can barely sit still during a meeting at work. There's no chance of digging them out without fully taking your pants down, and it's no use, they are just too too small. When you get home you come up the stairs to your room, your mouth watering at the relief of being without this terrible restriction, you kick them into the garbage, and look for the softest, t-shirt like sweatpants to wear all night, commando.

That's sort of how I feel when I come up the stairs in this freaking painful restrictive air cast. I'm so pumped to get home and take it off, only to realize that's NOT happening. And I have to wear it for 7 weeks 5 days more! And I feel this way several times a day, waiting/excited for relief, realizing I can't have any.

Today was Lily's first day of school and I had to go. Highlights were getting out the door, hitching a ride, taking her potty, sitting in preschool sized chairs in a preschool sized room trying to not trip everyone with my foot and crutches, or worse tripping a toddler on to my foot equaling surgery, and staying an hour past everyone else, waiting for our "ride", only to realize he didn't have a car seat for Lily.

Yeah yeah, I am comedian, but just dealing with this the best I can.

Wheelchair gets delivered tomorrow.

After talking to my new friend, and remembering so vividly how hard it was to get through that time, I am reminded today to not complain about things because I have a healthy body that works perfectly today (even if it is pretty sore from Kayaking with Lawrence yesterday). That, and I'm thankful that my panties are NOT too tight.

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