I wrote this a few weeks ago, as the start to something. This week I'd give anything for a bedtime struggle because at least it would mean being home in time for bedtime! Monday and Tuesday I made it home just in time to put them to bed, lingering, and snuggling to get a few more moments together, other than the rushed ones of the crabby morning. Last night I had so much work that I worked until 7 and headed to my friend's directorial debut at University of Portland and it was fabulous (more on that later), but (sigh) I sure missed my kiddos last night, sleeping soundly as I kissed them, almost wishing they'd wake for a minute to kiss me back. The oldish post still made me laugh though, so I thought I would share it. If you are new to me and mine, you'll soon find that sleep and bedtime is something I dwell HEAVILY on, even when there is no problem at the moment, as is guilt and overwhelmedness. soooo ENJOY!
7:36pm - some tired evening in the past...
“Mommy, something smells weird in my room”. Ugh. Seriously just go to sleep already. I went in, it smelled fine. I emptied her trash, and said, “oh yeah, this trash really stinks, that’s what it is.”. “Can I smell?” “No, it stinks too bad” I say “no I still smell it” pipes Lily. Ugh. “No, it’s probably just your freshly laundered bedding (ya know cuz that's the worst smell in the house), you’ll go to sleep now and stop calling me, or you’ll get your door shut” I say meanly followed by a sing songy “I love you, good night”.
I come out, it’s and the way I just spoke to her…I’m a monster. A complete monster. She’s just a little girl. A great, sweet, well behaved, little girl. Who has permanently scarred her mother when it comes to bedtime exceptions. Where does my patience go at the end of the day? JEEZ. Maybe I’m not cut out for this. Of course I’m cut out for it, but not cut the exact way I WANT to be. Sweet and patient and oh so full of energy. Oh,…and whiter, less coffee stained teeth with no baby weight on my middle. And debt free. Including the house.