Tuesday, January 18, 2011


Yes, I'm still here. Yes I do realize how long it has been since I've written a blog. Things are. Hard. Busy. Good.

It's been a matter of priority and survival lately. Maybe that sounds dramatic, but that's how I feel.

Christmas was awesome, my mom came, it was wonderful. New Year's Eve was fun too. We had a game night with our friends and then a family sleep over.

I have a million and ten pictures from the last month.

But I'm depleted, I'm empty, blah. I'm not freaking out over the impossible cart of responsibilities in front of me. Instead I just feel blah. Honestly, I'm not sure if that is a good thing or a bad thing. I've made the comment to a few friends that I actually kind of prefer the blahness that I've been feeling because it is SO much better than the frazzley stressed out anxiety feeling.

Work is hard. Home is hard. Kids are hard. Marriage is hard. All of it is good and worth it and bring blessings upon blessing. I wouldn't trade my life for anything, because I do love it. I know that sounds like a typical canned response, but it's not. However, it's hard not to get lost in the day to day duties, and if I am able to get up for some air, a quick refresh button. It lasts for such a short amount of time. My flame is extinguished so quickly. Every action seems to have a consequence and I go days at a time wondering if I did anything right. Wondering if I made a difference at all, or if I'm just existing to make it through the workload of another day.

And yet, life IS good.

Sometimes, you just aren't inspired to write about it or document it. Or when you are, you don't have the time or the energy to make it a priority.

I've been really trying to stay off the computer at home. This leads to no pictures and no blogs.

That's where I'm at.

The good news is I do have a few VERY organized friends who just posted on their fall and HALLOWEEN. Thank you friends, you make me feel like I'm ahead of the game. That there is hope that I can back in to this thing.

I don't know what I need to get out of my funk, but maybe you could write a comment, tell me a funny story, or maybe you could remind me of something I'm doing right. Because I left a picture of myself on my blog for a month. A hilarious picture where my glasses are bigger than my face. And I got four comments. LOTS of emails asking where my blog was, lots of mentions of missing blog posts. But it's hard to remember that anyone even reads, notices, or cares. Until I stop writing, then I get an overwhelming number of reminders of something else I'm falling short on. And that kind of sucks. Can you see why?

I've debated even posting this. Worried that I won't get back to this for another month, and worried that this will be the post left here. Worried that someone who emailed me about why I haven't blogged would be insulted or think that I was upset with them. To get four comments about a blog that was and 47 emails about a blog that wasn't - isn't very motivating. It wasn't anyone in particular who mentioned it. I know most of you emailed me out of worry for me, not worry for my blog, knowing that I've never gone so long with out blogging.

Sometimes when I feel blocked, blah, disconnected, like I'm unraveling, writing helps. So I'm giving that a try.

To ensure that it sticks, that funny story or encouraging word would be really great right about now.

I've kicked off the good juices with this picture of Bryson's hand...(thanks Christina Gilchrist for sending it to me!)


  1. I'm blahed to. I so missed u. Not ur worries sresses or crazyness but just knowing ur ok and ur blog out of no where i will LOL. UR funny. Love u. ..and.. again I've been reading this GREAT book. I mentioned it before but please read it. I may send it to you when I'm done. I'd even send return postage so u can slip it in mailbox when done. Seriously.

  2. I love the picture of Bryson's hand. Too cute. Thank you for the update. I'm sorry about the blah. I want you to know you are a wonderful Wife, Mother, Friend, Worker, Co-Worker, Sister, Daughter and all the other roles you play in your life. I pray for you and your lovely family often. I laud you not getting on the computer when you get home. That is an area that I struggle with. It is such a great escape from everything else.

    I like to hear that life is good. Really good, not just canned good. I am so proud of you for loving your life in spite of the difficulties that go with all your roles. It is a great testimony.

    You amaze me, Friend, every day with all that you are able to accomplish. Keep your chin up. God has you wrapped in His loving arms today and every day.

    I love you!

  3. Well, Jenny, as you know I haven't written in my blog for a year and a half. Talk about blog block, and I have absolutely no good excuse!
    I have missed yours, just because you are such a good writer and your blog always makes me (and probably others) feel so connected to you.
    About those big glasses.
    When I looked at that photo over the years, I never even noticed the size of the glasses, but the beauty of the children. It's a matter of perspective. Love you always.

  4. Here's a funny story: there once was a girl that loved being in drama. She always seemed to get put in roles where she had to cat fight with another girl, who somehow always got cast as the other member of an onstage fight. On more than one occasion, our little sweetheart had too much adrenalin on opening night and instead of the well-choreographed stage punch, she actually clocked the other actress.

    Who never held it against her.

    Thank you for that! : )

  5. We love you! Don't give up on us!

    (I admit, I was tempted to threaten you. You know, say I would comment with random pages from free ebooks or something. Hmm. Not a bad idea.)

    We love you! Don't give up on us!

  6. Here's a story. This is from the one who hops on my WAY BEHIND blog daily, to check YOUR WAY BEHIND blog daily, and even though I could see your last blog title was the same, clicked on it anyway because seeing your smiling face with those huge glasses made me smile. For three weeks I've been doing that, like clock work.

  7. Griffin sits in drawers and baskets. He gets in and often can't get out on his own. We think it is funny, but it also is one way to keep him in one spot for a few minutes at a time, so we let him do it even if we think he really shouldn't (because soon enough he's going to be heavy enough to break the drawer).

    Casey told me the other day about a kid in his class that was not Tarpissapating and did not get a sticker or something. Tarpissaparing. That is awesome.

    These are the funny little moments that I am holding on to these days. When I feel "meh" about whatever else I am doing at the moment. I know you have piles of them too.

    Even if you don't have time to write about them, the very noticing them is what keeps you alive and present with your people, and that's how they feel your love.


  8. Blogging buddy--I too have the blahs....I've begun blog after blog and not posted or posted only to regret what I put up later, so I feel ya. It's the time of year/weather/lack of sun and such for me that makes me blah. But know that your blog is sunshine for me and others! Keep sharing and keep your chin up!

  9. "sunshine for me and others"

    Well-said, Aimee....

  10. "sunshine for me and others"

    I agree with this statement too. I always leave reading your blog with a warm feeling. Like we had just spent some time chatting over coffee. It is good fellowship. :)

  11. Me, too!!! Oh, man!! I have a particular reason for my blahness that has nothing to do with the weather. I don't really want to talk about it in a public way, but just know that I fee ya. I don't know if you've noticed, but not much has happened on my blog lately either.

  12. Couldn't agree with this post more!! I feel EXACTLY the same way! I won't give up, if you don't give up ;)
    Can't tell you how many posts that are half done in my que!
    Okay, the glasses pictures, is quite possibly the best, funniest picture I have ever seen!! It needs to be blown up and hanging in your house! Love it!
    Stay sane,
    Your blogging buddy Jenn