Right now, I'm reading the book, "The Power of a Praying Parent". Sometimes in life, there's not much else that you can do, other than pray, and that applies to your children as well. Mine as small right now, so I get to keep them in a safety bubble, mostly. Except that I work, so they aren't always with me in my protective bubble, but even so, I consider Sabine's care an extension of my safety bubble. She cares for them and their safety as closely as I do. She is careful and diligent, and I consider them safe when they are with her, or me, or Lawrence. But with Lily going off to Kindergarten next year, and Addie starting preschool, my bubble has some impending holes lingering out there. And so all I can do is pray. That's a lot better than feeling helpless, or leaving it to "chance". I like this book because it gives me ways to specifically pray. It reminds me that we are not alone in our parenting and care taking of our children. God is with us, and with them. We can not be everywhere, but He can. How nice is that?
Today I realized that someone was (must have been!) praying for me when I was a kid. I don't know who you are, or where you are, but I'm almost certain of it. Maybe you are Annette Lathrop or maybe Lorretta Hoole, maybe you are Donna Bronson or Roslyn Clegg. Maybe an unknown neighbor or teacher. I don't know. But whoever you are, thank you. Your prayers were answered and God kept me safe. Sure, I got my bumps and bruises, but I came out of it all as a happy, healthy, and blessed adult. I look around me and I could weep at His faithfulness in blessing every area of my life. If a kid like me can grow up to be an adult like me, then my kids DO have a fighting chance. Yay for realizing that. Really.
I've decided that I'm going to start memorizing Bible verses again. One per week. One that I can use and reflect on, and rest in. One that I can repeat in my head to replace the worry and guilt and anxiety that likes to take up residence there. Something that will help me to breath when I feel like things are just too much. And who knows, maybe it will make my memory a little stronger too. I'll share it here too when I can, partially to be accountable, partially to be able to find it again when I need to (because like my mom, I now lose my little notebook - or it's always in the other diaper bag), partially to possibly share it with another mom/woman/person out there who could use a good Bible verse in their day. And who knows, once I get it memorized, maybe I'll treat myself to a piece of CANDY, you know, just for old time sake.
Here is the one I've chosen for this week:
I will both lie down in peace, and sleep; for you alone, O Lord, make me dwell in safety. PSALM 4:8