For the last week I have been gearing up to be on my own with all three kids during the day for the first long periods of time. Sabine went to visit a friend in the Midwest and check out Chicago (a much deserved mini vacation for her!) I know this shouldn't be so difficult, but there are a lot of different little needs going on around here - and I'm still figuring out how to meet them all while going on very little sleep. For example, while alone one morning, I was nursing Bryson (who hasn't been nursing great by the way, though you'd never know it by his enormous size!) and I hear "Addie went POOPIE in the potty, mama", so I know that if I stop Bryson from eating, he won't start again, and I'd really love for him to get a full feeding, but I also know that Addie CANNOT yet wipe herself. For a moment I consider asking Lily to wipe her, but then I remember, um, she's FIVE and I doubt she'd actually go for it anyway, no matter how big of a help she likes to be...this might be where she'd draw the line. So I ask Lily to get me a wipe from Bryson's changing table and bring it to me, and tell Addie to come into his room next to the glider where I'm nursing, and I wipe her little poopie bottom while feeding my two month old, all the while Lily is laughing hysterically while I demand for her to bring me a plastic baggie and some hand sanitizer to dispose of the wipe. It takes her 10 minutes to do this as she is simply drunk with all the laughter. And yet I feel pretty good about finding a solution. I said to my mom the other day, "I have three children, I need to learn to take care of them all by myself". Even if it means I have to wake Bryson from a short nap, throw him and Addie in their car seats and race to be the last mom in car line to pick Lily up from preschool, with my shoes untied and my teeth not brushed, apologizing to her teacher for my lateness. I still think, "Yay, I did it!" haha. Lily says, "Mom, I knew you were coming, sometimes you are late". Yes Lil, "sometimes" I am. Only sometimes.
So, while I know I CAN do it, at the same time.....
...I felt OH so relieved that my little brother said he was free and on his way through town and could stay for 2 nights. Even if I wasn't on my own, I knew it would make the girls so happy. They adore, ADORE their uncle Matt. And they spent two days climbing all over him, wrestling, dancing, game playing, crafting, make believing, you NAME it, they played it. He even got Addie down for 2 naps!! He's also come along way with maneuvering an infant and wasn't awkward with Bryson like he used to be with the girls. (No offense meant by that, holding a newborn IS awkward when they feel so breakable). It isn't always fun and games. The girls are always so excited that they go nuts and misbehave for the first full day of seeing him. They can't get enough that they act like lunatics! I wish he could see them in their natural environment so he would know that they are good girls. I know he does know that, but he always has to deal with them being so spastic and riled up that it is many hours of CRRRAAAAZZZY when he arrives! :) Exhausting would be an understatement. But luckily he's young and seems to always muster up all the energy required to have fun with them whenever he's needed.
Bryson gave him lots of smiles and also made sure he knew that he was happy to see him.
When it was time for Matt to leave the girls were very sad. They were happy that they got to see his girlfriend, Heather, who came to pick him up. Lily played HARD the last 30 minutes with them (yet another made up game of taking off socks!) and was pretty sad to go to school, even though she had a field trip to the fire department.
Matt is in the National Guard, and so since he signed up there has been the possibility of him being deployed. Now we know, he will have to go for a year, probably leaving in August. We don't know where yet, or even if we'll get to know where, but I can't stop thinking about how hard it will be to have him gone for so long. I will miss my brother, but my children will miss their Uncle Matt so so much.
I have a lot to be thankful for lately. I'm WAY behind on thank yous. Thank yous of many types - any of you reading may be sick of hearing me say thanks to people by the time I get caught up on thanking people in my life. But I am so thankful for the last few days with my little brother and with the fun he got to have with my girls. And even though it shouldn't make a difference in the way we love our family, I can't help but being more nostalgic about our time together. Knowing that we won't be together next Christmas or next Thanksgiving made this Thanksgiving and THIS Christmas all the more special. And as the Fall draws closer I know I will feel that more and more each time we see each other.
Thank you so much, Uncle Matt. Even though the girls get so excited, and they wear you out, and Lawrence and I use you as our personal tech support guy, and even though I didn't feed you yesterday on accident, I hope that when you leave our home, you feel and know one thing beyond a shadow of a doubt.
You are loved.