The summer is coming to an end. In fact, I sit here on Friday at 5pm, Labor Day weekend in front of me, and I cannot believe 1. The summer is over and 2. All of the awesome stuff we got to do this summer.
June:
We finished up baseball season and the school year on June 13th, it was both girls first year in Softball and that kept us VERY busy. Lily had a great coach who gushed on and on about each kid, including mine at her team party, leaving me feeling so grateful for coaches and this one in particular. A wiffle ball game of parents vs kids ended with LOTS of super fun laughs and some really good new friends. On the first weekend after school we celebrated Father's Day, and then the kids and I headed out of town to visit my college roommate in Spokane. We went to Riverfront park and Silverwood amusement park, but perhaps the biggest highlight for me was just spending a week with my kiddos together with Robin spending a week with her kiddos, doing life together for a few days. As soon as we arrived home, ran in the twilight run (girls got 1st and 2nd in their age group for the 5K), then bright and early went to the airport the next morning because Grandma & Grandpa Herman and cousin Tyler came for 2 weeks! Bryson went to a VBS camp the first week, and the kids had an amazing time together. They went to Multnomah Falls, OMSI, berry picking, and to lots of parks in there area. We did our best to show Tyler a fun Oregon summer experience. Addie had her "tag" Hot Wheels birthday party with some school friends and their families at Cook Park. We got to celebrate Addie's 7th birthday together before they flew home on the red eye.
July:
We spend fourth of July weekend at home for the first time in years, watched fireworks at THS and went to a local small town parade. It was fun, but nothing compared to Shake the Lake, we definitely don't want to miss the 4th at Wallowa Lake again anytime soon. We received news of a great opportunity and made the decision to put our house on the market because a friend is selling her house in a location that would be perfect for us, she's giving us first dibs. We did some minor stuff in the yard and around the house to get ready to go on the market, and then headed to the Blue Mountains for the Blanchet family reunion at Red Bridge state park. The weather was perfect this year and the kids had so much fun with their cousins. They have developed a super close relationship with my cousin Grace's boys, Colton and Caleb, and they were inseparable all weekend. Camping keeps getting to be more fun as the kids get older. It's still a lot of work, but nothing like it has been for the past 9 years! Four of the Herman's headed home, and Lily went to Joseph for two weeks with my mom. Addie and Bryson had VBS camp while Lily went to Chief Joseph Summer Camp and spent a bunch of time with my friends and their kids. I loved it for her! I loved it for me, I went to CJSS when I was a kid and have great memories there, it was so nice to see Lily get a slice of memories of Joseph in the summer. We had one weekend at home, while our house went on the market, so we stayed out quite a bit. We went to see Planes 2, had a BBQ with the Ornelas Family, and rode bikes at Summerlake Park. On Tuesday night we packed up to drive to Joseph. This would be our kids first time at Chief Joseph Days, and of course we could not WAIT to see Lily. As soon as we pulled up at about 11pm, she dove into the car to hug us all. Reunited and it feels so good!
We went to the Rodeo, played at the lake, the kids were in the Kiddie Parade (got second place as Cat in the Hat and Things 1-2 come to CJD), we had my 20 year HS reunion at Vali's, watched the grand parade, had my 20 year HS reunion at the Joseph City Park with families, and more fun at the Lake. We drove home on Sunday tired and happy. No rest though, the girls started soccer camp first thing on Monday morning!
August:
The first weekend of August Lawrence got a job offer (he had been looking since May for something with more opportunity), and this was a VERY happy way to kick off the month. We stayed home that weekend and IT WAS SO NICE to have a weekend at home. We found time for a BBQ with our friends the Smith's, which we had been trying to schedule since school got out. We shopped for Bryson's wedding outfit and a few school clothes, then we went to the Tualatin Crawfish festival and ran into some new good friends on accident, which was awesome. Then Addie and Lawrence got to go to the Thorns (Portland's professional women's soccer) game, after I got my first church going in all summer! The kids had 4 straight days of swim lessons from my friend Kim, and it did wonders for each of them. Addie gained so much confidence and they were all putting their face in the water effortlessly (something that has been a challenge). Enough of this relaxing stuff, Lawrence had his last day of work on August 8, took off half day, and we were off to go camping. We were supposed to go camping with the Ornelas Family at RAAB campground, but they had a family medical emergency, so at the last minute we changed plans and went to Swift Forest campground in Washington near Mt. St. Helens with our newish friends the Schlichting Family (they have kids Addie and Bryson's ages and she was my postpartum nurse with Bryson!). Lawrence borrowed kayaks from a friend and we LOVED this campground and the lake, it was so nice. Lily paddle boarded on a piece of wood for a long time, it was so much fun. Bryson and their little boy Paul got to be good friends and they just had so much fun. On Sunday we packed up and stopped in Hood River to pick up a few forgotten items (somehow we messed up on packing for this long trip) and we got lunch at the Brewery there and then headed over Mount Hood to Central Oregon and Lake Billy Chinook at Cove Palisades State park. It was so incredible. The weather wasn't great, too hot, too rainy, too much lightning, but somehow we just had the time of our lives. We met new friends at the campground across from us, and the dad was from New Jersey, so instant connection, we had a great time with them. Wednesday we headed back to Portland so we could pick up Julia from Germany at the airport. What a beautiful reunion it was. Time for another quick and long overdue BBQ with the Jordan family (Addie's BFF). No rest though because it was time to head down to Mount Angel for the weekend for NannyJenny and Tim's wedding! #burtonhanneganwedding The girls were both flower girls and Bryson was the ring bearer and they all looked adorable and did great. The wedding was at Vanderbeck Valley Farms and the location was to die for. Really amazing amenities but not so fancy pants, really comfortable and great. Jenny and Tim looked incredible and happy, such a beautiful bride and all of their wedding party were also fun and great to be around. We all danced and sweated our pants off and it was a fun family night for all. The next day was our anniversary and we celebrated by back to school shopping and watching the Glockenspiel. Monday, Lawrence started a new job, and that week we juggled cars, and got used to him working 2 + hrs later than he ever has, which was an adjustment for us all, and our dinnertime/sports schedules! We all found time for the ALS challenge, and donated to alsa.org after dumping big buckets of ice water on our 5 heads. The next weekend it was time for Hood to Coast. Thursday night we met our team and decorated our vans, and then Friday, time to run. More stressful packing, but once we got on the road to pick up the rest of our group, all was well. I was proud of how everyone on our team ran, including myself. I was nervous and wasn't sure how I would do. My longest training run was 5 miles, and my shortest of the three legs was 4.55 miles. But I did it. I ran at sunset, I ran in the dark, I ran 6.24 miles, then 4.55 miles, then 5.24 miles. I supported my team, I had no sleep, I had fun doing it all with my husband. We stayed one extra night at the beach, sort of to celebrate our 12 year anniversary the week before. We came home to another week of work, swim lessons, and BACK TO SCHOOL night. Labor day weekend was super relaxed, we had pancakes for dinner as a request for by Julia for her last night, an EARLY morning goodbye on Saturday, then a day of family fun. Lawr and I went to a tailgate party hosted by friends of ours that was sold at the PSO auction to benefit the school and it was so nice getting to know/reconnecting with a bunch of parents who have kids in both our girls classes. Josh and Shawna took our kiddos for the night and we enjoyed our first night alone at our house since the night before Addie was born! We returned the favor and had a fun Sunday with our kids + the Powers kids at Alpenrose. Monday we had some house showings and went to "no playground park". You know, since there was no soccer practice on Labor day, might as well go play some soccer.
One more ice cream sandwich and backyard water fight and we were showered and in bed.
Back to school tomorrow.
What was your favorite part of summer? Everything!
Showing posts with label Julia. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Julia. Show all posts
Monday, September 1, 2014
Saturday, July 30, 2011
Goodbye is only a prolonged Hello
Whatever.
It sucks. Today we said goodbye to our loved and needed AuPair, Julia. She has 2 weeks of fun and traveling the parts of the US that she hasn't seen yet, before she goes back to Germany and our family is left one person short. Julia has been amazing this year. I really don't know how I would have gotten through this difficult year without her. My work life was insane and my emotional life was dangling by a thread, and she really was a type of glue and consistency, constantly full of kindness, helpfulness, and encouragement. She has a knack for being just what we need when we need it. 
My heart breaks for her and the kids. They are so in love with each other. They have a special bond that could not be any sweeter.
In a final moment today, before we left the house, Addie gave Julia one of her bear-bears and made her promise to think of her every night when she slept with it. Addie has 4 bear-bears, it might seem like a lot, like she had one to spare, but bear-bear is her best friend, her comfort, her playmate. To give a bear-bear to Julia (even if it was admittedly the one that she like the least) it was touching. Julia burst into tears with the biggest smile on her face. Julia's friend Micah and I did too because it was just too cool of a gesture. I told Lawrence the story in the car, and even his eyes filled with tears as he thought about it.
I told Lily that I feel bad for Bryson, because he doesn't know what is going on, and he says "Buh-Bye Jew-a" but he doesn't know that it is goodbye for a very long time, that the next time he sees her won't be in a few hours or days. Lily said, "I feel really sad for everyone, especially myself". :)
This is awesome. And it's hard. We now have 2 girls who will forever be part of our family due to this program. But starting over fresh, with a broken heart each year...well...it just sucks. I can't say it more eloquently than that. It sucks for them and for us. We will move on and we will have each other. I heard Julia say to Bryson, the LOVE of her life, the other morning, "Who's smile will brighten my days, and start them off right when I don't have you?" And I know she means that with her WHOLE heart. We will be taking a year or so off the AuPair program and hiring a nanny who won't live with us. We've founds someone sweet and special that we are really happy about.
Saying goodbye to an AuPair isn't like saying goodbye to a childcare provider though. It's like saying goodbye to a family member. The sadness doesn't come just because of the job there is to fill, it comes from losing the genuine love that we have for each other. Knowing that the person caring for the kids loves them and us as much as we love her.
Julia is an incredible person. She is 20, and she is mature, smart, godly. She will go so far in her life. Her future is wide open and I'm so proud of the person she has become while she is here. She has been so open to every experience, and blessing have poured down on her. And on us. I know she has so much to look forward to, and the next chapter of her life can't start until this one ends.
But.
I'm just sad that I don't get to see her everyday anymore.
 |
| "Goodbye, Goodbye, to you and you and you..." or, "We're going on a trip in our favorite rocket ship..." |
 |
| "Bryson, do you want to hold my hand?" |
 |
| One last picture-Bryson kicking Addie in the head... |
We love you "Jue-a"!!!
Wednesday, February 9, 2011
Julia's pictures of beauty
Here are a few great shots that Julia has taken of the kids recently. Plus a few she took while skiing with Lily and Lawrence on Mount Hood, using her new photography skills from the class she is taking.
You guys, these are taken with a point and shoot!
Loving it.
Tuesday, November 23, 2010
The fallout
So last week was every bit as hard and grueling as I thought it might be. The week before, while I worked long hours, was better. And I was hopeful last week would follow in the previous weeks footsteps, but it didn't, not at all.
I've hesitated to write a blog. Because I haven't had time to, number one. But also because I'm always so scared of getting judged. There are lots of days I just downright hate that I am a working mom. But I'm also really committed to staying firm in an attitude of not being discontent in my life. To feel blessed by our life, rather than dwell on the things that I wish were different. And USUALLY I can do that. Well. And I mean it, I'm not faking my way along pretending to be happy in a life where I am not. I am happy. I do make the best. But sometimes things just sucker punch you. And for some reason, blogging honestly hasn't been coming to me easily. I'm not seeing the humor in it, I don't have the energy to be witty. At least not for long enough to get it written down.
So last week just sucked. The kids had many bad days where I only saw them for 30 minutes in the morning. Except in the case of Addie or Bryson, where they were up in the night or at the crack of dawn. In my guilt ridden mind, all I could think was that they were trying to find some time with me, time when I was home. So I struggled through the days where I had to be mentally at my best on 2-6 hrs or sleep and on the verge of tears.
Since the first day I went back to work when Lily was a baby, I have always felt like I wasn't enough. Before that, I always excelled at my job. I always felt pretty good about how hard I had worked and how much I had accomplished. I also knew that I was a darn good wife. However, once I became a mom, I just wasn't as good. For the most part, I'm okay with that. I'm happy to be good enough at my profession that my mediocrity is still on par with some people's excellence, and generally, no one seems to notice.
Except, now, my company got this huge investment that requires an annual financial statement audit for the first time in 20 years. The threat of an audit has been dangling for years, for one reason or another, and I've done my best to be prepared for it. And as far as a first time audit goes, I couldn't have asked for a better circumstance. (I won't bore you about the details of an interim opening balance sheet audit prior to the income statement audit after year end, on prior year only, and the generous deadlines they've given on that, but these are good things). Still, it's hard. We've basically hired a Top Company to go through all the detail of all the work, I (or my team has done) since I've started, and find any and all mistakes, or problems with processes, or answer questions about why things have been done such-and-such a way since the beginning of time. Frankly, it's exhausting. Depleting. For 12-16 hrs a driving-home-in-the-dark-eating-dinner-by-myself day. It points out all the weaknesses. That's what it's supposed to do, but it's hard to hear it since many of the "problems" are due to resource or system constraints, so the "how to" fix them isn't easy or straightforward.
At home, each night there would be a report (that I asked for) of who did what all day from Julia. And it was hard not to wonder and worry about why Addie started having accidents or why Lily all of sudden hit Julia for the first time. Bryson also wasn't nursing well in the morning due to teething, a stuffy nose, and his sister waking up to come see what's going on promptly at the moment of nursing, and I wasn't home for his night nursing. So there's that. Lawrence was super great about making sure he was off right on time each day and we did a lot of meal planning so making dinner and caring for all three kids, bathing them, and putting them to bed was *slightly* easier for him. There are lots of weeks where he has to do this one night a week. We decide that if I'm going to miss bedtime, I might as well stay really late and get it all done. But for 2 full weeks, this was ridiculous. And so by the time I finally got home, we'd both worked 2 full time jobs, and we just beat.
By Tuesday night, I honestly COULD.NOT.BELIEVE it was only Tuesday. Oh, and that's the day that Matt finally got on the plane headed to Iraq from Mississippi. He called and we had one last good bye around 7pm. Then he called the house to talk to Lawrence and the girls. And I got to Skype with him briefly, test out his new laptop, and see his new glasses. :) I shut my door after and had a brief cry. It wasn't nearly long enough.
By Friday I was too tired to even be excited that it was Friday. Our audit team was good, but by Friday, I was ready for them to leave, as they were already 2 days longer than scheduled. I just couldn't wait to get home and be with the kids.
Except when I got there, I was too depleted to even be how I wanted to be with them. And I was super mad at myself over that. I can ALWAYS dig deeper, find more to give. And I just couldn't, there was nothing left.
Bryson was so needy and clinging that even when we were at the grocery store at 5am on Saturday (thank you daylight savings time STILL!) he would cry when I would step to the side of the cart to grab a box of cereal off the shelf. I REALLY could not be ONE step away from him. He is going through separation anxiety to the max anyway. But this weekend he cried when I walked INTO the room, fearing (as I perceived) that I would leave it again shortly. Even when sitting on the floor with him, I reach over to the toy box and he'd cry. So I felt myself upset and annoyed as I snuck off to the bathroom, listening to him screech if he caught me. He had a terrible time going down for night and naps. After several weeks of an easy system we had going. All of this swirled inside of me, guilt, exhaustion, depletion. I don't want a moment to myself because I feel selfish for being away from them, even at a time where I didn't chose that.
This pretty much lasted all weekend for me. SO annoying. We went to a restaurant to watch my college football rivalry game, something we do every year, and had planned for months. It was so fun, it felt like everyone who went to either Montana school who lived in Portland was there. Except I just could not relax. I was wound so tight. We took Lily and Addie and Julia stayed with Bryson while he napped. I was worried about them spilling milk and bothering others, and arguing with each other over Littlest Pets. Lily was giving me a bit of an attitude, but nothing that normally would have bothered me. I was upset because even on Saturday, I had nothing more to give. I can't remember that happening to me before, not like that. I just wanted to cry. Then the Griz lost. Stupid Griz! :)
On Sunday, my only saving Grace was that there were only two working days this week. But still, even after Lawrence let me sleep in a little, I felt annoyed and guilty, overwhelmed and rushed as we went out to take a family pic for our Holiday Cards and it was so bitter cold that I'm not even sure if it turned out or not. Poor kids!!!
To top off my fail of a week/weekend family wise, I totally forgot to call our niece and nephew to wish them a happy birthday on Sunday. I know (hope and pray) that they know how much we love them, and that our (my...cause let's face it, that's my job) forgetfulness is no indication of how much we love them. 2010 has seriously not been my year for remembering to send cards or call on birthdays. I hope 2011 will be better. It almost CERTAINLY could not be worse. Love you Ty and Cass!! Can't believe you are already FIVE years old.
So in the spirit of trying to not be a complete negative Nelly:
Here Are Some Grateful Things...
I've hesitated to write a blog. Because I haven't had time to, number one. But also because I'm always so scared of getting judged. There are lots of days I just downright hate that I am a working mom. But I'm also really committed to staying firm in an attitude of not being discontent in my life. To feel blessed by our life, rather than dwell on the things that I wish were different. And USUALLY I can do that. Well. And I mean it, I'm not faking my way along pretending to be happy in a life where I am not. I am happy. I do make the best. But sometimes things just sucker punch you. And for some reason, blogging honestly hasn't been coming to me easily. I'm not seeing the humor in it, I don't have the energy to be witty. At least not for long enough to get it written down.
So last week just sucked. The kids had many bad days where I only saw them for 30 minutes in the morning. Except in the case of Addie or Bryson, where they were up in the night or at the crack of dawn. In my guilt ridden mind, all I could think was that they were trying to find some time with me, time when I was home. So I struggled through the days where I had to be mentally at my best on 2-6 hrs or sleep and on the verge of tears.
Since the first day I went back to work when Lily was a baby, I have always felt like I wasn't enough. Before that, I always excelled at my job. I always felt pretty good about how hard I had worked and how much I had accomplished. I also knew that I was a darn good wife. However, once I became a mom, I just wasn't as good. For the most part, I'm okay with that. I'm happy to be good enough at my profession that my mediocrity is still on par with some people's excellence, and generally, no one seems to notice.
Except, now, my company got this huge investment that requires an annual financial statement audit for the first time in 20 years. The threat of an audit has been dangling for years, for one reason or another, and I've done my best to be prepared for it. And as far as a first time audit goes, I couldn't have asked for a better circumstance. (I won't bore you about the details of an interim opening balance sheet audit prior to the income statement audit after year end, on prior year only, and the generous deadlines they've given on that, but these are good things). Still, it's hard. We've basically hired a Top Company to go through all the detail of all the work, I (or my team has done) since I've started, and find any and all mistakes, or problems with processes, or answer questions about why things have been done such-and-such a way since the beginning of time. Frankly, it's exhausting. Depleting. For 12-16 hrs a driving-home-in-the-dark-eating-dinner-by-myself day. It points out all the weaknesses. That's what it's supposed to do, but it's hard to hear it since many of the "problems" are due to resource or system constraints, so the "how to" fix them isn't easy or straightforward.
At home, each night there would be a report (that I asked for) of who did what all day from Julia. And it was hard not to wonder and worry about why Addie started having accidents or why Lily all of sudden hit Julia for the first time. Bryson also wasn't nursing well in the morning due to teething, a stuffy nose, and his sister waking up to come see what's going on promptly at the moment of nursing, and I wasn't home for his night nursing. So there's that. Lawrence was super great about making sure he was off right on time each day and we did a lot of meal planning so making dinner and caring for all three kids, bathing them, and putting them to bed was *slightly* easier for him. There are lots of weeks where he has to do this one night a week. We decide that if I'm going to miss bedtime, I might as well stay really late and get it all done. But for 2 full weeks, this was ridiculous. And so by the time I finally got home, we'd both worked 2 full time jobs, and we just beat.
By Tuesday night, I honestly COULD.NOT.BELIEVE it was only Tuesday. Oh, and that's the day that Matt finally got on the plane headed to Iraq from Mississippi. He called and we had one last good bye around 7pm. Then he called the house to talk to Lawrence and the girls. And I got to Skype with him briefly, test out his new laptop, and see his new glasses. :) I shut my door after and had a brief cry. It wasn't nearly long enough.
By Friday I was too tired to even be excited that it was Friday. Our audit team was good, but by Friday, I was ready for them to leave, as they were already 2 days longer than scheduled. I just couldn't wait to get home and be with the kids.
Except when I got there, I was too depleted to even be how I wanted to be with them. And I was super mad at myself over that. I can ALWAYS dig deeper, find more to give. And I just couldn't, there was nothing left.
Bryson was so needy and clinging that even when we were at the grocery store at 5am on Saturday (thank you daylight savings time STILL!) he would cry when I would step to the side of the cart to grab a box of cereal off the shelf. I REALLY could not be ONE step away from him. He is going through separation anxiety to the max anyway. But this weekend he cried when I walked INTO the room, fearing (as I perceived) that I would leave it again shortly. Even when sitting on the floor with him, I reach over to the toy box and he'd cry. So I felt myself upset and annoyed as I snuck off to the bathroom, listening to him screech if he caught me. He had a terrible time going down for night and naps. After several weeks of an easy system we had going. All of this swirled inside of me, guilt, exhaustion, depletion. I don't want a moment to myself because I feel selfish for being away from them, even at a time where I didn't chose that.
This pretty much lasted all weekend for me. SO annoying. We went to a restaurant to watch my college football rivalry game, something we do every year, and had planned for months. It was so fun, it felt like everyone who went to either Montana school who lived in Portland was there. Except I just could not relax. I was wound so tight. We took Lily and Addie and Julia stayed with Bryson while he napped. I was worried about them spilling milk and bothering others, and arguing with each other over Littlest Pets. Lily was giving me a bit of an attitude, but nothing that normally would have bothered me. I was upset because even on Saturday, I had nothing more to give. I can't remember that happening to me before, not like that. I just wanted to cry. Then the Griz lost. Stupid Griz! :)
On Sunday, my only saving Grace was that there were only two working days this week. But still, even after Lawrence let me sleep in a little, I felt annoyed and guilty, overwhelmed and rushed as we went out to take a family pic for our Holiday Cards and it was so bitter cold that I'm not even sure if it turned out or not. Poor kids!!!To top off my fail of a week/weekend family wise, I totally forgot to call our niece and nephew to wish them a happy birthday on Sunday. I know (hope and pray) that they know how much we love them, and that our (my...cause let's face it, that's my job) forgetfulness is no indication of how much we love them. 2010 has seriously not been my year for remembering to send cards or call on birthdays. I hope 2011 will be better. It almost CERTAINLY could not be worse. Love you Ty and Cass!! Can't believe you are already FIVE years old.
So in the spirit of trying to not be a complete negative Nelly:
Here Are Some Grateful Things...
- I've never appreciated more that I am permitted to work from home 2 days a week. Even thought the kids are with Julia during that time, I don't have a commute, and I'm just THERE with them, although in another room. Five days a week in the office is exponentially more exhausting and I'm not sure I'd ever full acknowledged this. Some times you ask me, how do I do it all? Well, working from home is a large part of my 'how'.
- In the end, the auditors felt pretty good about how we (I) have been doing things. There are some adjustments, but nothing that I don't agree with, and nothing that they wouldn't expect in the first year. This is a great relief to me because when they come in every two minutes every day, I'm just not sure what means what. It's nice to find that, in the end, they were mostly just trying to get an understanding, rather than passing a judgment. It's not clear during.
- The auditors told my boss that I am responsible for a lot of areas and made a recommendation to him that we get additional staff to help me. Whether we do or don't doesn't matter to me as much as the acknowledgment that an outsider noticed this and told my boss. It also makes me feel better about small things that slip through the cracks, I'm only one person. Also, in my own head I always know that I could do more, or do it better, and I guess it was just nice to see that they think, I do a lot, enough, too much. I got some validation there.
- I have this job. Tomorrow I get to go to Addie's Thanksgiving Feast and Lily's 6 year pediatrician visit and then take Wednesday off to prepare for the holiday. This job, and all the stress it has caused me, ultimately has saved us. When Lawrence was laid off last year, we struggled with unemployment, my maternity leave, and he is now in the process of starting over at a new company. We are so blessed that I continued to have a stable and flexible job with good health insurance through that. We have everything that we need, and more.
- That we have Julia. Another great AuPair who LOVES our kids. I sent her an email a few weeks ago, letting her know that when I see her talk to my kids, even when she disciplines them, that it is so obvious that she loves them. You can hear it in her voice and see it in the way she looks at them. We have been through several different child care options in the last 6 years and we KNOW without a shadow of a doubt that this is the best one for us right now. It truly feels like I leave the kids with a family member, someone who is in my home, helping it run smoothly. It is impossible not to want the daily moments back with my kids. To wish that THAT was my stress and my hard days, but since it isn't, I'm just really grateful for all she does to make this family work. Including cleaning up poop and working through proper consistent discipline with a lovely and very strong willed six year old. When I'm working from home and I hear her laughing with the kids or speaking to them. I find myself smiling because of the excellent care she is taking.
- I remembered this week that even though all of the critique, I'm a really good accountant, and as nerdy as that sounds, it was good talking shop with people who knew more about it than I do. I (over)used my brain in a way that I hadn't in a while. And it felt kind of good.
- I have a husband who is my teammate. We both do what needs to be done when it needs to be done, without question. I hate weeks when we are "just teammates" and it feels like there is little interaction between us. He also had a sore throat this week and didn't really feel like talking after I got home. But I know too many wives who would give anything for a good teammate husband like mine. And I'm also glad that when we are just teammates, it is a fraction of what we normally are together, and for that I'm grateful too.
Friday, October 8, 2010
Sad things sorry - and a nutshell.
Wow. Can't believe so many people read this blog. I'd never know it by the number of comments I get in a given week...
So, I guess I really upset a lot of you by posting that I had some sadness to write about. Sorry for that. I have to laugh a little thought because some of you who criticized me for leaving you hanging...don't let me into your lives at ALL. Good or bad! Hanging or full disclosure! It's okay to need to process sad things and it's okay to want to write about them. It's also okay to not be able to. Still, I didn't want to worry anyone. I guess I wanted to say that while I do have some sad things, I'm really doing okay. Just penning up some emotions that might better be let out.
I keep trying and I can't. I'm all blocked up when I try to write with any structure or coherence. It's hard to give the feelings any words. And then after making an statement about needing to write about sad things, and being jumped on, I really can't write. Maybe a nutshell will help, I don't know...
For those of you who don't know, my little brother has been deployed to Iraq and is in his last weeks of training in Mississippi before leaving the country for over a year. He is my only sibling and he is a very big deal to me. I want to write a lot about him and how I'm feeling (or the feelings that I'm not feeling, stuffing away, later to haunt me or make me cry at inopportune moments). I have friends who have husbands deployed with my little bro. And their sadness is so raw, I don't know what do with it all (future guest post by Melinda coming very soon). At the same time we said goodbye to Matt, Sabine also left. I have more to write about her goodbye, but I can't, not just yet. I got to wake up to see her face every day for almost a year, and I really miss seeing her so much. It's such a weird experience having someone be so close to your family, living with you, seeing the good, the bad, and the crazy, and then having them gone to be seen who-knows-when. I knew it would happen but it doesn't make me less sad. People think that because Julia is such a great AuPair, then I shouldn't miss Sabine. But I don't miss having a good AuPair, our Julia is an AMAZING AuPair, so I do have that. It's just that I miss my Bean-Bean. Just like being with one friend doesn't make you miss another friend less. I'm worried for my friend Jeanine and her mom, my heart aches for them and losing Jack a few weeks ago. And I haven't been able to talk in length with Jeanine to find out how she is doing and how they are coping. But I know the man that Jack was deserves a million posts plus one!
And then the really tragic news. On Friday, Julia's good friend was killed in a car accident. Her name was Sarah, and she was 23. She was from Julia's small hometown in Germany of 1000 people. She has been in the US for about 6 weeks, in South Carolina to study for a year. She is the oldest of 4 and her family and Julia's families are very very close to each other. Obviously the news of this, has been devastating to all of those who loved her. And even though I didn't know her, this loss for Julia and her family is weighing heavily on my heart. I want to be whatever love and support I can to my sweet girl in this time of mourning. And I pray for comfort over all the mother's in this situation. It's hard to know what to do when someone is filled with raw grief. I feel grateful that in the times that there are no words to say, Bryson's smiles seem to genuinely brighten Julia's days, even when she is feeling very down. Babies have that gift. It's hard to understand God's plan and trust him in a tragedy such as this, but we do know with certainty that she was welcomed into His loving arms. Even though it leaves a big hole for those that knew her, here on earth.
In addition to that, breast cancer is about to claim the life of my friend Julie (if it hasn't already and I just haven't gotten the news). We've all been waiting, holding our breath when we check the blog, and having mixed feelings about what we will see there. Yesterday they thought she was breathing her last breaths, but now we don't know more...
It's among some of this sadness that I do find perspective. But perspective doesn't make it less sad. If you pray, and feel so inclined, you can pray for Julie's husband, Brian; for all the people who loved Sarah, and for her little sisters and little brother, for her mom and dad; you can pray for my Julia's family, that while grieving for their friends, they can trust that their daughter will come home safely to them and that we will take good care of her; pray for the safety of my brother and that of Juan Garcia while in Iraq, pray for Jeanine, Colleen, Nycole, & Aristeo as they attempt to have peace about the void that losing Jack has left in their lives. And while your at, give a little thanks for all the good things He's doing in your life. Open you eyes and just look, you'll see it. I sure am.
So each of these things deserves more words and more time and more care. This certainly didn't feel very therapeutic. But I can't leave you all worried out there, now can I?
So, I guess I really upset a lot of you by posting that I had some sadness to write about. Sorry for that. I have to laugh a little thought because some of you who criticized me for leaving you hanging...don't let me into your lives at ALL. Good or bad! Hanging or full disclosure! It's okay to need to process sad things and it's okay to want to write about them. It's also okay to not be able to. Still, I didn't want to worry anyone. I guess I wanted to say that while I do have some sad things, I'm really doing okay. Just penning up some emotions that might better be let out.
I keep trying and I can't. I'm all blocked up when I try to write with any structure or coherence. It's hard to give the feelings any words. And then after making an statement about needing to write about sad things, and being jumped on, I really can't write. Maybe a nutshell will help, I don't know...
For those of you who don't know, my little brother has been deployed to Iraq and is in his last weeks of training in Mississippi before leaving the country for over a year. He is my only sibling and he is a very big deal to me. I want to write a lot about him and how I'm feeling (or the feelings that I'm not feeling, stuffing away, later to haunt me or make me cry at inopportune moments). I have friends who have husbands deployed with my little bro. And their sadness is so raw, I don't know what do with it all (future guest post by Melinda coming very soon). At the same time we said goodbye to Matt, Sabine also left. I have more to write about her goodbye, but I can't, not just yet. I got to wake up to see her face every day for almost a year, and I really miss seeing her so much. It's such a weird experience having someone be so close to your family, living with you, seeing the good, the bad, and the crazy, and then having them gone to be seen who-knows-when. I knew it would happen but it doesn't make me less sad. People think that because Julia is such a great AuPair, then I shouldn't miss Sabine. But I don't miss having a good AuPair, our Julia is an AMAZING AuPair, so I do have that. It's just that I miss my Bean-Bean. Just like being with one friend doesn't make you miss another friend less. I'm worried for my friend Jeanine and her mom, my heart aches for them and losing Jack a few weeks ago. And I haven't been able to talk in length with Jeanine to find out how she is doing and how they are coping. But I know the man that Jack was deserves a million posts plus one!
And then the really tragic news. On Friday, Julia's good friend was killed in a car accident. Her name was Sarah, and she was 23. She was from Julia's small hometown in Germany of 1000 people. She has been in the US for about 6 weeks, in South Carolina to study for a year. She is the oldest of 4 and her family and Julia's families are very very close to each other. Obviously the news of this, has been devastating to all of those who loved her. And even though I didn't know her, this loss for Julia and her family is weighing heavily on my heart. I want to be whatever love and support I can to my sweet girl in this time of mourning. And I pray for comfort over all the mother's in this situation. It's hard to know what to do when someone is filled with raw grief. I feel grateful that in the times that there are no words to say, Bryson's smiles seem to genuinely brighten Julia's days, even when she is feeling very down. Babies have that gift. It's hard to understand God's plan and trust him in a tragedy such as this, but we do know with certainty that she was welcomed into His loving arms. Even though it leaves a big hole for those that knew her, here on earth.
In addition to that, breast cancer is about to claim the life of my friend Julie (if it hasn't already and I just haven't gotten the news). We've all been waiting, holding our breath when we check the blog, and having mixed feelings about what we will see there. Yesterday they thought she was breathing her last breaths, but now we don't know more...
It's among some of this sadness that I do find perspective. But perspective doesn't make it less sad. If you pray, and feel so inclined, you can pray for Julie's husband, Brian; for all the people who loved Sarah, and for her little sisters and little brother, for her mom and dad; you can pray for my Julia's family, that while grieving for their friends, they can trust that their daughter will come home safely to them and that we will take good care of her; pray for the safety of my brother and that of Juan Garcia while in Iraq, pray for Jeanine, Colleen, Nycole, & Aristeo as they attempt to have peace about the void that losing Jack has left in their lives. And while your at, give a little thanks for all the good things He's doing in your life. Open you eyes and just look, you'll see it. I sure am.
So each of these things deserves more words and more time and more care. This certainly didn't feel very therapeutic. But I can't leave you all worried out there, now can I?
Friday, October 1, 2010
Walk a Thon
Addie is in the purple shirt black pants
Addie and Luca
Snow cones, Addie, Luca, Poopy Boy
Addie and Luca just starting out
I was glad I went to Addie's walk-a-thon. She has felt very important having school 2 days a week and this walk a thon was very important to her. She and Lily were giving each other tips about running vs walking and pacing yourself this morning that cracked me up. She was so cute, she ran almost the whole time. She knew just what to do from watching Lily the last two years I guess, and she was ready for her time. As we walked up, one girl named Kiera ran up and said, "Addie!" and they came together waving both hands and then interlocked fingers once they were chest to chest. It was very sweet for me to see an interaction like that for her, she is forming her own relationships outside of the ones I create for her.
She ran and ran and ran. Stopped when it was time for them to make the mark on her back to track her laps, and then ran and ran. Once she stopped at the water bottle section to give her name and collect her water bottle. I marveled at how amazing it is to see her independent of her sister, outside of our house, especially. I was just a parking lot away, but I imagined if Lily was there, holding her hand and giving Addie's name for her in order to get the water.
Addie's best friend at school "coo" as she calls it, is Luca. We are friends with his parents, but they had only hung out a few times before school started. During the middle of the walk, they started to hold hands, totally without coaxing. Addie did take off running a few times while Luca was walking, she was sweaty and red faced, she really took this thing seriously.
At the end they got snow cones, Addie's was orange, one boy pooped his pants while he sat next to Addie eating his, Addie ran the most by far of any girl, 24 laps around the parking lot, all in all, a pretty good start to the day!
Today is Julia's 20th Birthday, so while I'm getting set to work and start closing the quarter, they are baking mondel bread and cupcakes downstairs, yummy, it's making me hungry. We are having a big party for all the Au Pairs tonight at our house. Happy Birthday Julia, thanks for all you do for us!!
Thursday, September 23, 2010
My buddy and me
Father's day this year was a MAJOR fail at our house. In order to not drum up more sour feelings, I'm going to leave it at that. All around cruddy day. Soo....
With our anniversary on the horizon as the next time I could replace that sourness, I wanted to plan ahead. Something really special. Something that would be super cool for Lawrence and I to do together, to celebrate us, and really have fun. Not just dinner or a drink, but something different and special.
So when I got a Groupon deal in early July for a 4 hour sea kayaking class, I knew I had just found my anniversary gift. As our anniversary neared, things were getting crazy. Life felt really stressful and so we decided to celebrate on our Tuesday night anniversary with a beer and nachos at the new Big Al's that was in it's Grand Opening a mile from our house. And we scheduled our "real" anniversary kayaking celebration for last weekend.
Every time we have plans away from the kids on the weekend I get anxious. Especially when it is during the day, before bedtime. I spend enough hours away from them while I am working during the week; I really feel like I can't afford any time away during the weekend and I stress out getting ready to go. My partner in crime, aka Lawrence, stays cool, calm, and collected and usually even finds a few minutes or thirty for some Sports Center, while I'm scrambling around in shear panic. :) Then of course once we do have an actual date, I'm refreshed, and I remember that I need to do things alone with Lawrence more often. But it's hard to do that. To make time for that. And usually our dates are set up because someone has invited us to an adult only event, a going away party, birthday party, football game, concert, etc, etc, and much of the time is spent with the guys doing one thing and the girls talking about another. We spend the drive in the car together and then our date turns into a "see each other in passing" kind of thing. And since we are SO Dave Ramsey, we rarely do out to dinners, just the two of us.
So this sea kayaking class. It was more awesome than I could have imagined. Even though I was anxious when we left, we had a blast, and when we came home we made a big family pancake breakfast dinner, and the kids had a great afternoon with Julia, they were happy and excited to see us. And I didn't feel guilty, I felt good.
We weren't together the entire time, but it was just us with 2 guides and 10 strangers, for four hours, doing something new and cool and outside and active and together. Something that we couldn't, wouldn't, wish we'd brought the kids too.
We went 9 miles in the Willamette River around Ross Island and saw the city (of Portland) in a totally new and interesting way.
Lawrence is kind of a bossy teacher, and it reminded me of our early dating days when he'd try to instruct me on how to (snow) ski better, totally out of love. But my know-it-all-this-is-good-enough-self, hates that. So I chuckled inside when I yelled at him, "I KNOW!"
as he suggested I hold my paddle with my thumbs pointing a different way or what ever. The river was so peaceful, so there were long periods of time of no talking, being alone with our own thoughts, working hard the whole time. It reminded me of us.
What we are like when the busyness of every day life and the tasks involved with carrying and caring for 3 young children aren't there to distract us from each other, from us. Don't get me wrong, we LOVE that 
distraction. We love how involved the other is our children's lives. We look at the other being a present parent and love more for it. It's not that we want to be away from the work that children bring. It's that last weekend when we were, I felt reconnected and rekindled and reminded. He is my buddy, he is fun, he is my best friend. When we get away to realize that, we come home and model that we are more than just teammates working for a common cause. Mommy and Daddy are in love, they are friends, and they go out and come home and are even more fun to be with because they have each other as a partner in this life. It's pretty cool. 
With our anniversary on the horizon as the next time I could replace that sourness, I wanted to plan ahead. Something really special. Something that would be super cool for Lawrence and I to do together, to celebrate us, and really have fun. Not just dinner or a drink, but something different and special.
So when I got a Groupon deal in early July for a 4 hour sea kayaking class, I knew I had just found my anniversary gift. As our anniversary neared, things were getting crazy. Life felt really stressful and so we decided to celebrate on our Tuesday night anniversary with a beer and nachos at the new Big Al's that was in it's Grand Opening a mile from our house. And we scheduled our "real" anniversary kayaking celebration for last weekend.
Every time we have plans away from the kids on the weekend I get anxious. Especially when it is during the day, before bedtime. I spend enough hours away from them while I am working during the week; I really feel like I can't afford any time away during the weekend and I stress out getting ready to go. My partner in crime, aka Lawrence, stays cool, calm, and collected and usually even finds a few minutes or thirty for some Sports Center, while I'm scrambling around in shear panic. :) Then of course once we do have an actual date, I'm refreshed, and I remember that I need to do things alone with Lawrence more often. But it's hard to do that. To make time for that. And usually our dates are set up because someone has invited us to an adult only event, a going away party, birthday party, football game, concert, etc, etc, and much of the time is spent with the guys doing one thing and the girls talking about another. We spend the drive in the car together and then our date turns into a "see each other in passing" kind of thing. And since we are SO Dave Ramsey, we rarely do out to dinners, just the two of us.
So this sea kayaking class. It was more awesome than I could have imagined. Even though I was anxious when we left, we had a blast, and when we came home we made a big family pancake breakfast dinner, and the kids had a great afternoon with Julia, they were happy and excited to see us. And I didn't feel guilty, I felt good.
We weren't together the entire time, but it was just us with 2 guides and 10 strangers, for four hours, doing something new and cool and outside and active and together. Something that we couldn't, wouldn't, wish we'd brought the kids too.
We went 9 miles in the Willamette River around Ross Island and saw the city (of Portland) in a totally new and interesting way.
Lawrence is kind of a bossy teacher, and it reminded me of our early dating days when he'd try to instruct me on how to (snow) ski better, totally out of love. But my know-it-all-this-is-good-enough-self, hates that. So I chuckled inside when I yelled at him, "I KNOW!"
as he suggested I hold my paddle with my thumbs pointing a different way or what ever. The river was so peaceful, so there were long periods of time of no talking, being alone with our own thoughts, working hard the whole time. It reminded me of us.
What we are like when the busyness of every day life and the tasks involved with carrying and caring for 3 young children aren't there to distract us from each other, from us. Don't get me wrong, we LOVE that 
distraction. We love how involved the other is our children's lives. We look at the other being a present parent and love more for it. It's not that we want to be away from the work that children bring. It's that last weekend when we were, I felt reconnected and rekindled and reminded. He is my buddy, he is fun, he is my best friend. When we get away to realize that, we come home and model that we are more than just teammates working for a common cause. Mommy and Daddy are in love, they are friends, and they go out and come home and are even more fun to be with because they have each other as a partner in this life. It's pretty cool. 
Friday, August 6, 2010
Julia has arrived
Julia, our new German AuPair, arrived last night around midnight. Right now, she and Sabine are downstairs and the girls are laughing and having fun with her. I can hear giggling and laughing, and the occasional shriek of Addie or Lily saying, "JULIA!!!" Bryson is napping and they are waiting for him to wake up to go to the zoo.
Thanks for all the kind words yesterday. Sometimes I just stress out, feel overwhelmed to a point of being incapable of accomplishing much.
I felt very at ease as soon as I met Julia, she is kind and sweet and very enjoyable to be around. The kids were drawn to her immediately, though they are still doing that weird, roll around on the ground/act kind of crazy to show off thing in front of her.
Sabine moved all her stuff to the play room and we marvel at the HUGE mountain of stuff that a girl can aquire in just one year, as she wonders how in the world she will fit it in to her two suitcases. And the rules have changed. Julia was only allowed to bring one suitcase! Julia loved her new room and the girls made her a welcome sign plus Lily made some cool little butterflies to hang around. I ordered prints of a bunch of pictures of her friends and family that she had sent and hung them on her bulletin board.
Anyway, after a nice drive home from the airport and chat, and a glass of water, we both collapsed into bed after 1am. Bryson woke at 5, I fed him and Lawrence got up with him. THANKFULLY. So I got to sleep in until 7:30 after that.
BIG THANK YOU TO CARRIE FOR YOUR COMMENT YESTERDAY! So needed!
2 parties and 2 goodbyes ahead. I can do this! But first, some coffee...
Thanks for all the kind words yesterday. Sometimes I just stress out, feel overwhelmed to a point of being incapable of accomplishing much.
I felt very at ease as soon as I met Julia, she is kind and sweet and very enjoyable to be around. The kids were drawn to her immediately, though they are still doing that weird, roll around on the ground/act kind of crazy to show off thing in front of her.
Sabine moved all her stuff to the play room and we marvel at the HUGE mountain of stuff that a girl can aquire in just one year, as she wonders how in the world she will fit it in to her two suitcases. And the rules have changed. Julia was only allowed to bring one suitcase! Julia loved her new room and the girls made her a welcome sign plus Lily made some cool little butterflies to hang around. I ordered prints of a bunch of pictures of her friends and family that she had sent and hung them on her bulletin board.
Anyway, after a nice drive home from the airport and chat, and a glass of water, we both collapsed into bed after 1am. Bryson woke at 5, I fed him and Lawrence got up with him. THANKFULLY. So I got to sleep in until 7:30 after that.
BIG THANK YOU TO CARRIE FOR YOUR COMMENT YESTERDAY! So needed!
2 parties and 2 goodbyes ahead. I can do this! But first, some coffee...
Thursday, August 5, 2010
Winds of change
Things will be changing again today.
I'm tired, and overwhelmed, and excited, and scared, and nervous, and sad, and happy.
I'm even a little superstitious I think. On the day Sabine arrived, Lawrence lost his job. On the day Tamara started as our nanny before that, I broke my foot. Both knocked us off our feet for 3 months. Pun intended. Heh. I'm downright scared of getting a new person to care for our children! :)
Julia comes today, I pick her up tonight at midnight. Sabine will still be here until Tuesday. Five more days. It's bizarre that this year went so fast. And what a year it was.
We lost a job, and got a job, and had a baby, and made it through a pretty life changing year. Nothing earth-shattering, but hard and different and great for us, nonetheless. It's nothing that hundreds or thousands of people aren't going through right now. And we had this girl, this young woman, who arrived, and lived with us, and experienced it all with us. Typical American life? The ups and the downs. She knows us. She KNOWS our kids. She was an extension of us and our love, discipline, and even frustrations with them. And at times, with each other. She was easy and kind and respectful. And she loved us. And we loved her. Love. Past and Present.
And future.
And now things will change.
A new girl, a young woman, is coming today. And she is going to experience the ups and downs of this year with us. We don't even know what they are yet. And I'm sure we will love her and she will love us. She will come to know us and vice versa. And it will be totally different, and totally great, and another chapter in our life.
With this change comes uneasiness for me. I'm happy about it, I'm sad about it. The beginning of one thing stems from the end of another thing.
And on top of it all I've got a lot on my plate. So I'm a little overwhelmed. To give you an idea. As I said before, Julia arrives tonight, tomorrow I have financial statements due to Mr. Gates, who, you know, just invested a lot of money into my little company, then I will food shop for the parties I am throwing this weekend. Yes, plural. On Saturday, my brother, Matt will arrive, we will prepare for Sabine's going away party and Julia's goodbye party. There are 29 people expected. At my house. Which is, by the way, messy and covered with smokey and sandy laundry from camping last weekend and swimming this week. And toys and towels and WEEDS in the backyard. On Sunday, I will say goodbye to Matt and then host a baby shower for my friend Shawna, together with her mom and another friend. On Monday, it's back to work for me, where the hardest worker in my staff is on vacation for 2 days. Tuesday I take Sabine to the airport at the crack of dawn. And somewhere in there I will get to know Julia and teach all the ways of the Herman house and family. And I haven't added Bryson to the handbook, yet, but I should since he requires the most time and effort. Other than Addie who has been nearly impossible as of late.
So my blog is run-on. And my heart is excited and sad. And my party might not be in an immaculate house. Or in a weedless yard. And the food might just be the basics. And the baby shower games might be played on regular paper rather than fancy paper. And the brownies made from a box. And the gift bought on the way. And I will meet my work deadline somehow, I always do. And Julia will be great, the kids will love her, they will give her a hard time at first, but they will love her. And Sabine's family can't wait to see her again. And Matt will be okay. And he WILL come home. And I have some of the best friends and women in my life, family too, some who live far away and support me no matter what. Who let me have that big long cry I needed to have on the phone rather than in their arms. And isn't it fun to be at the other end of THAT call. And, oh yeah, there is a vacation planned this month.
So if I can just make it one week. Things will settle and I can "relax".
And at the heart of it all, I have my Lawrence, my Lily, my Addie, & my Bryson. They are the faces that make the winds of change more carefree and full of hope of happy days to come.
I'm tired, and overwhelmed, and excited, and scared, and nervous, and sad, and happy.
I'm even a little superstitious I think. On the day Sabine arrived, Lawrence lost his job. On the day Tamara started as our nanny before that, I broke my foot. Both knocked us off our feet for 3 months. Pun intended. Heh. I'm downright scared of getting a new person to care for our children! :)
Julia comes today, I pick her up tonight at midnight. Sabine will still be here until Tuesday. Five more days. It's bizarre that this year went so fast. And what a year it was.
We lost a job, and got a job, and had a baby, and made it through a pretty life changing year. Nothing earth-shattering, but hard and different and great for us, nonetheless. It's nothing that hundreds or thousands of people aren't going through right now. And we had this girl, this young woman, who arrived, and lived with us, and experienced it all with us. Typical American life? The ups and the downs. She knows us. She KNOWS our kids. She was an extension of us and our love, discipline, and even frustrations with them. And at times, with each other. She was easy and kind and respectful. And she loved us. And we loved her. Love. Past and Present.
And future.
And now things will change.
A new girl, a young woman, is coming today. And she is going to experience the ups and downs of this year with us. We don't even know what they are yet. And I'm sure we will love her and she will love us. She will come to know us and vice versa. And it will be totally different, and totally great, and another chapter in our life.
With this change comes uneasiness for me. I'm happy about it, I'm sad about it. The beginning of one thing stems from the end of another thing.
And on top of it all I've got a lot on my plate. So I'm a little overwhelmed. To give you an idea. As I said before, Julia arrives tonight, tomorrow I have financial statements due to Mr. Gates, who, you know, just invested a lot of money into my little company, then I will food shop for the parties I am throwing this weekend. Yes, plural. On Saturday, my brother, Matt will arrive, we will prepare for Sabine's going away party and Julia's goodbye party. There are 29 people expected. At my house. Which is, by the way, messy and covered with smokey and sandy laundry from camping last weekend and swimming this week. And toys and towels and WEEDS in the backyard. On Sunday, I will say goodbye to Matt and then host a baby shower for my friend Shawna, together with her mom and another friend. On Monday, it's back to work for me, where the hardest worker in my staff is on vacation for 2 days. Tuesday I take Sabine to the airport at the crack of dawn. And somewhere in there I will get to know Julia and teach all the ways of the Herman house and family. And I haven't added Bryson to the handbook, yet, but I should since he requires the most time and effort. Other than Addie who has been nearly impossible as of late.
So my blog is run-on. And my heart is excited and sad. And my party might not be in an immaculate house. Or in a weedless yard. And the food might just be the basics. And the baby shower games might be played on regular paper rather than fancy paper. And the brownies made from a box. And the gift bought on the way. And I will meet my work deadline somehow, I always do. And Julia will be great, the kids will love her, they will give her a hard time at first, but they will love her. And Sabine's family can't wait to see her again. And Matt will be okay. And he WILL come home. And I have some of the best friends and women in my life, family too, some who live far away and support me no matter what. Who let me have that big long cry I needed to have on the phone rather than in their arms. And isn't it fun to be at the other end of THAT call. And, oh yeah, there is a vacation planned this month.
So if I can just make it one week. Things will settle and I can "relax".
And at the heart of it all, I have my Lawrence, my Lily, my Addie, & my Bryson. They are the faces that make the winds of change more carefree and full of hope of happy days to come.
Monday, July 12, 2010
Welcoming Julia
This is a little late, but I want to introduce you to our new Au Pair who will be joining our family, all the way from GERMANY, in August, Julia!
I'll admit that I've been delaying writing this post because it is hard to talk about how excited we are to meet our new Au Pair without lots of sad feelings coming up about how much we will miss our current Au Pair. Even though this is all part of the hosting Au Pairs process, and you know the program is a year, and you know you will say goodbye, and you know you will say hello. It's that you don't know how you will feel it in your heart, the way you will feel after you have welcomed someone into your home and accepted them as a member of your family, for a year. How nice it is to have someone who lives with you and truly loves your children, who cares for them, and for you. Who supports your role as a mother and who is really an extension of the care you provide for them, not a replacement or care giving facility. She is a friend, and a family member, a care giver, and a big sister. This program is amazing and unique and so much more than I'd ever expected it to be, it really is.
Some of you know by now that Sabine, our "Bean-Bean", has decided to go back to Germany in August after finishing her year as our first Au Pair. We had invited her to stay a second year or even six more months, but she has decided to return to school in Germany and that starts for her at the end of August. (Insert many tears from me here! And many smiles and cheers from her family at home!!) We love Sabine - and it'll be hard to say good bye, it'll be hard to watch the kids say goodbye, and I'm sure I'll have a post later on this summer how bad I am at saying good bye to people I love. But for all that there is to be sad about, there is a lot to be happy about as well. We have four more weeks (as of today, GULP!) with our Bean-Bean, and we plan to really make the most of them. Summertime is upon us and that's when the fun really happens in Portland! (Okay, I'll admit I started this post 2 months ago, and at that time it was May 10 and we still had 3 months left! :) )
Sabine's hard decision left me (and Lawrence) with another hard decision. The next matching search was ON. I found myself for weeks finding many good Au Pair candidates, but not "the one". I was getting discouraged thinking that I might have to settle in one way or another. Then all at once, I got TWO great applications. Then I had TWO great interviews, and TWO great sets of answers to all my hard questions. Already, I could see how both of these girls could fit and add value to our family and provide excellent care for our kids. But finally we went with our deep down gut feeling, and the Au Pair of the two that Lawrence was more at ease talking with, Julia! (Consequently, the runner up was also named Julia, also 19, and also from Germany!) As soon as we made a decision, it was clear to us in so many ways that it was the right one, and even now as I re-read her application and her experience today, I'm more and more sure of what a wonderful year we have ahead.
We are so excited about Julia and how great she will fit into our family. I'd like to share something out of her application that really won us over (in addition to all the emails and skyping!) and that keeps sticking in my head. This is what the person at the agency who first interviewed and then recommended Julia to become an AuPair said about her as a summary:
Oh - I can't tell you what a difficult decision this was. Julia made it a bit easier. As any parent out there who searches for child care knows, it's hard to know or feel if you are doing the right thing. And finding the right Au Pair for your family takes this to another level, because you are choosing someone to live in our home as a family member for one or two years AND one that will be solely responsible for your kids. After Lawrence and I made the decision that this Julia was our next AuPair we've both had a lot of peace about the decision. We KNOW we made a good decision and that she was meant to be our next AP. And it's rewarding for us to see the positive impact we get to have on a young girl's life by providing her the opportunity to live with us, perfect her English, and gain a lifetime of memories. Not to mention deal with the craziness that is Us on a daily basis! :) Yep, THIS is America! :)
We will miss our Sabine, but we realize that Julia is not a replacement for who Sabine is in our lives, but just another wonderful addition; another caring girl to bring into our children's lives; another positive role model for the girls and another fun haver. She will be good at some of the same things and good at some different things too. We will try and share all the same things that we've shared with Sabine, and we hope that she will share some of herself with us with us too, just as Sabine has done. And this will make the change, just a little bit easier and a lot more fun.
But most of all, our kids will have yet another person who comes into their lives and their 'family' circle extends a little more. And Germany becomes even more ingrained in their little hearts, somewhere that they have never been, but where they will always have great connections, as well as a place to go.
I'll admit that I've been delaying writing this post because it is hard to talk about how excited we are to meet our new Au Pair without lots of sad feelings coming up about how much we will miss our current Au Pair. Even though this is all part of the hosting Au Pairs process, and you know the program is a year, and you know you will say goodbye, and you know you will say hello. It's that you don't know how you will feel it in your heart, the way you will feel after you have welcomed someone into your home and accepted them as a member of your family, for a year. How nice it is to have someone who lives with you and truly loves your children, who cares for them, and for you. Who supports your role as a mother and who is really an extension of the care you provide for them, not a replacement or care giving facility. She is a friend, and a family member, a care giver, and a big sister. This program is amazing and unique and so much more than I'd ever expected it to be, it really is.
Some of you know by now that Sabine, our "Bean-Bean", has decided to go back to Germany in August after finishing her year as our first Au Pair. We had invited her to stay a second year or even six more months, but she has decided to return to school in Germany and that starts for her at the end of August. (Insert many tears from me here! And many smiles and cheers from her family at home!!) We love Sabine - and it'll be hard to say good bye, it'll be hard to watch the kids say goodbye, and I'm sure I'll have a post later on this summer how bad I am at saying good bye to people I love. But for all that there is to be sad about, there is a lot to be happy about as well. We have four more weeks (as of today, GULP!) with our Bean-Bean, and we plan to really make the most of them. Summertime is upon us and that's when the fun really happens in Portland! (Okay, I'll admit I started this post 2 months ago, and at that time it was May 10 and we still had 3 months left! :) )
Sabine's hard decision left me (and Lawrence) with another hard decision. The next matching search was ON. I found myself for weeks finding many good Au Pair candidates, but not "the one". I was getting discouraged thinking that I might have to settle in one way or another. Then all at once, I got TWO great applications. Then I had TWO great interviews, and TWO great sets of answers to all my hard questions. Already, I could see how both of these girls could fit and add value to our family and provide excellent care for our kids. But finally we went with our deep down gut feeling, and the Au Pair of the two that Lawrence was more at ease talking with, Julia! (Consequently, the runner up was also named Julia, also 19, and also from Germany!) As soon as we made a decision, it was clear to us in so many ways that it was the right one, and even now as I re-read her application and her experience today, I'm more and more sure of what a wonderful year we have ahead.
Working with children and people, Julia is in her element. She never stops to acquire new ways of advancing children and helping them to find out their talents and strengths. Julia is patient, caring and a very comfortable personality. She is very creative in entertaining and leading children, is able to lead groups and is able to motivate and inspire them.Um, yeah! This is EXACTLY the feeling we've gotten from her, she has the perfect mix of experience and personality, of morals and humor. This summer she has gained additional experience by working with and driving handicapped children. She LOVES music and is in a band, she plays guitar, the trumpet and sings, she is very dedicated to her church in Germany, particularly the music and children's programs, she has so much experience working with large groups of children, from babies to teens. She's a great driver and has lots of experience driving kids and has taken a few driver safety/first aid courses. She has cared for families with up to 5 children and in each one, there was an infant to care for as well as older children to keep busy and entertained. Each of these families listed as a reference raved about her and stated that she "felt like a member of the familiy". Perfect.
She has a a lot of experience in working with children at all age groups, having responsibility and working independent. Julia has listed a lot of qualities an Au Pair should have and in my opinion, she has all of them! Julia is not only a very friendly and warm-hearted person, she also has a very strong character and very good values. She is very responsible and mature and can cope difficult and stressful situations with her experience and her calm and reasonable kind.
Oh - I can't tell you what a difficult decision this was. Julia made it a bit easier. As any parent out there who searches for child care knows, it's hard to know or feel if you are doing the right thing. And finding the right Au Pair for your family takes this to another level, because you are choosing someone to live in our home as a family member for one or two years AND one that will be solely responsible for your kids. After Lawrence and I made the decision that this Julia was our next AuPair we've both had a lot of peace about the decision. We KNOW we made a good decision and that she was meant to be our next AP. And it's rewarding for us to see the positive impact we get to have on a young girl's life by providing her the opportunity to live with us, perfect her English, and gain a lifetime of memories. Not to mention deal with the craziness that is Us on a daily basis! :) Yep, THIS is America! :)
We will miss our Sabine, but we realize that Julia is not a replacement for who Sabine is in our lives, but just another wonderful addition; another caring girl to bring into our children's lives; another positive role model for the girls and another fun haver. She will be good at some of the same things and good at some different things too. We will try and share all the same things that we've shared with Sabine, and we hope that she will share some of herself with us with us too, just as Sabine has done. And this will make the change, just a little bit easier and a lot more fun.
But most of all, our kids will have yet another person who comes into their lives and their 'family' circle extends a little more. And Germany becomes even more ingrained in their little hearts, somewhere that they have never been, but where they will always have great connections, as well as a place to go.
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